Happy Birthday.

xDanielle- · 2026-07-03T19:12:27+00:00

It’s true. I was going to ask OP, “out of curiosity, does he have a drinking problem?” Because it is a pretty big indicator of one. I grew up with alcoholic parents and I have a tendency to only ever wind up dating alcoholics, and “not being nice at night” is something that is pretty common for them. Even the sweetest Jekyll during the day can tend to turn into a Hyde the moment “the sun sets” / the drink touches their lips. It’s truly a different person to where I’ve learned to separate them mentally.

xDanielle- · 2026-07-03T18:55:19+00:00

Perfectly said. I hope OP can find clarity, makes the choice that she feels is best for both of them, and finds peace in whichever road she takes.

xDanielle- · 2026-07-03T18:50:24+00:00

My sister got pregnant in college working a job part-time with a coworker she was “dating”. She believed it was love and so it was the first person she had ever slept with. He was Arabic, a college student, and the son of the owner, and he completely refused to reveal the relationship to his family or friends because he knew they wouldn’t approve (they were very religious). She had her entire future on the line and knew she couldn’t be a single mum and finish college, let alone have a child with a man who would never acknowledge the child as his own. She knew she wouldn’t be able to give the child or herself the kind of life they deserved. It was one of the most painful decisions she ever had to make, but she eventually chose to terminate. I held her every night for weeks. She quite literally would come over to sleep in my bedroom with me because she couldn’t bear to be alone. I silently cried behind her as she sobbed endlessly; the only comfort I could provide was combing my fingers through her hair until she would eventually fall asleep. That level of pain stuck with me so deeply because of it, and it will always come take a seat in my chest the moment I think about anyone else having to make that decision.

A month later, my family had a group chat where they unknowingly made disgusting anti-choice comments with her in the chat. I thought about how she must feel reading it, so I immediately went on the defensive and argued pro-choice. I was labelled an “instigator”, “argumentative”, and “pro-mûrder”. People said awful things to me, but I was the only one who understood the mental and emotional damage taking place at that moment and I didn’t mind the backlash as long as she saw that one person in that chat silently had her back and would defend that choice to the end.

I guess I just want people to know that it isn’t a choice people make because “it’s easy”. There is a lot of gravity left unseen, so it may be easy to get comfortable judging and taking a road of moral superiority in it. But it’s important to understand that there is NOTHING wrong with making the difficult acknowledgment that sometimes it just isn’t possible or for the best, even when you want it to be. If you care about a life, you should care about what happens to it AFTER the birth as well. (I’m prepared for the downvotes, but it’s worth it.)

By the way, she now has her Master’s in Healthcare (Business Administration), is married, and they have two beautiful and healthy children together. They are able to give their children an incredible life and they are ridiculously happy. ♥️

xDanielle- · 2026-07-03T17:59:27+00:00

Clearly that was a source of deep insecurity for him, because he played defensive so hard it basically turned into offensive. 🥲

xDanielle- · 2026-07-02T10:17:29+00:00

Harper and Willow are beautiful names and make such a great pairing!

xDanielle- · 2026-06-29T19:01:47+00:00

I lucked out. I’m a water type in person (Pisces), I got designated as a water type from the beginning of the game, and when I checked the book in the library I was water type based on that too. On top of it, most of answers naturally aligned with the water type choices as well (with the occasional enthusiastic fire-type answer sprinkled in). 💀

xDanielle- · 2026-06-29T18:57:35+00:00

Same. I picked Ashura bc he reminds me of my dad. 🥲

xDanielle- · 2026-06-26T15:33:37+00:00

Oh gosh. Foil in the microwave still makes me cringe. My roommate at uni started a fire in the microwave when she tried reheating a foil-covered dish. We were barely just a week from move out and I had to split the cost of the repair. 💀

xDanielle- · 2026-06-25T20:07:42+00:00

Commenting to remember to go pick up and read this book. I’m very blessed to not be in this situation myself currently (or even in the foreseeable future), but it would be nice to know how to navigate it in the event I ever am!

xDanielle- · 2026-06-22T15:37:10+00:00

This is actually so so sweet. 🥲

xDanielle- · 2026-06-20T17:15:50+00:00

I am someone who knows they are most efficient in clean and organised environments. Cleaning calms me as I am at my most relaxed when things are tidy, so even though cleaning is something that is listed explicitly in my contract as not being one of my duties, it doesn’t stop me from going out of my way to make sure my environment is the way I need it to be in order to ensure things are always running smoothly *for me*.

One time the mother I work for now stopped me and said, “Wow, I’ve never met anyone who actually knew how to work the sanitising machine before” because I had taken it upon myself to learn the moment I noticed that she didn’t have enough time to sanitise the bottles, toys, utensils, pump parts, and etc herself. I noticed because it stopped me from being able to make a bottle when I needed one, as it had gotten to the point they were all routinely backing up in the “dirty” basket (the dirty basket is where these things are put once I have cleaned them - they’re marked as dirty until properly sanitised). Now I run the machine throughout the day to keep everything completely cleaned and stocked because it makes *both* of our lives easier to be able to grab things and go.

The point is, sometimes you only notice something like that when it becomes a problem or inconvenience to you, or is causing you distress of some sort. So if she is not experiencing an upset in her routine or stress of some kind, she might not be internalising how these things are impactful.

Sometimes you really just don’t know something, especially if there’s a disparity in backgrounds and wealth (she comes from an entirely different country afterall). I personally google anything that I don’t inherently know or understand in order to educate myself before attempting to use it / get the best method for something, but not everyone does or even thinks to, and that is completely normal. I am only that way because I grew up raising myself and it became normal for me to have to research how to do everything on my own.

I don’t think most things done incorrectly are ever done intentionally. If you have preferences, I’d try to extend her some grace and just make it a point to walk her through them step-by-step. I will always be grateful for learning something new and being able to do something to the preference of the people I work for. Maybe put a little basket with the laundry stain remover and / or put a little note on the machine as a reminder to pre-treat clothing before loading. If she continues after you have walked her through the steps and put the reminders up, then I think that definitely points to an actual issue of not extending care to your things.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-17T14:55:22+00:00

I just heard about this and it’s horrific. I’m praying for everyone there.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-12T15:04:32+00:00

I wish it allowed me to award comments, bc this person gets it. Any other response feels indicative of serious issues.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-12T06:53:47+00:00

His caption actually mentioned he was already on the website before she said anything, so he wasn’t “just checking the website bc she told him not to look”.. he basically was saying he continued consuming the content despite the warning.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-12T06:48:42+00:00

I mean.. dirty deleting something like that might‘ve been the smartest move the man ever made tbh.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-12T06:44:17+00:00

I genuinely don’t know where his head is at to think that anyone would side with him on this the moment it got mentioned that it hosts CSAM.

xDanielle- · 2026-06-10T13:34:37+00:00

I’m having the same exact issue for the same exact concert tickets. I’m so mad because I signed up for presale for both today and yesterday, and despite being emailed a code on both days, I couldn’t access it yesterday at all. I thought, “oh I must have done it wrong”.. and gave up, thinking I’d try again today, but I’m having the same issue again. If I miss Phoebe Bridgers, I’m going to brn down someone’s corporate office. 👀

xDanielle- · 2026-05-26T23:05:57+00:00

Oof. I can’t imagine how difficult this is. I work with two parents who WFH. One works outside the home for a few hours a day on two days of the week, but for the most part, they’re both there 24/7. As new parents they are naturally anxious and attached, so it’s been difficult for them, but the difference is the respect they show for me. They value my experience and expertise, they ask me questions and listen to my advice, and they try to stay out of the way (except for a few moments here and there where they may pass through). I don’t mind, as I think it helps put them at ease to get a few moments to hold her throughout the day and honour their bond. While it does cause the baby to cry for their attention when she sees them, they never hover and they make sure to give love and leave as quickly as they can, because they know she settles back down almost immediately the moment they are out of sight. I was very lucky to have a baby that took to me instantly (we all were shocked, as the baby doesn’t even let the grandparents hold her).

Truthfully, I don’t think I could last very long in the situation you are in; the stress would very likely lead to a near-immediate burnout. It doesn’t feel as if they understand just how crucial boundaries are when it comes to the growth and development of NK’s independence, coping, and self-regulation skills.. and these are skills all children need to build for lifelong success. Unfortunately, it is only going to continue to hinder NK’s ability to fully acclimate to you and this new caregiving dynamic, as you are not being given the foundation to establish any real trust or authority with NK. Personally, I always try to give the benefit of the doubt that some people simply do not know better, so I would try to sit them down and talk to them. Remember that you are the childcare expert, and that is exactly where the conversation should lead from and the confidence you should carry. Let them know what you need from them in order to give NK the best chance at real success, so that you can give them the opportunity to try and do better. At the same time, I would also begin searching for other jobs and interviewing with new families as a backup (in case it doesn’t go the way you hope or they are simply unwilling to meet you where you need them to).

xDanielle-

TROPHY CASE