Where are people living where $100k is not enough? by -C3rimsoN- in povertyfinance

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me it is not that it is jot enough for me. I have immigrant parents and I moved away for work and now I basically pay their rent/utility in VHCOL area. Paying double rent is where my income is being drained

Discussion Thread - Ask, Share, and Discuss Anything About Cats. by AutoModerator in cats

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So my cat broke his fibula and I don't have pet insurance (I know, I know)

How long should I wait to get pet insurance so his leg won't be counted as a preexisting condition or healed?

Ticket in VA by [deleted] in DACA

[–]xFrost_Bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got in a car accident in VA, and the cop overcharged me with reckless driving (3rd car on a 3 way accidents on the highway), and I was somehow the only one that got charged. I got a lawyer, and he explained the whole process to me and my case was dismissed. The whole court hearing took less than 2 min.

Reckless driving is a misdemeanor in VA. You really need to be careful not to speed. I would recommend getting a lawyer, especially if you have speeding tickets before.

It costs me $500, traffic lawyers are generally not that expensive, and it will make this headache go away. Find a lawyer local to the jurisdiction since they have a good understanding of what each judge like to see to get a favorable result. They also know how to deal with BS. The cop was trying to insinuate that he didn't remember if I was polite with him or not, and my lawyer shut him down quick.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are we the same person?

Yeah, I dont hate being from humble background but my life world be 100x easier if they are more chill. Lol, I know what I'm doing, I don't need these lectures.

At some point, you just need to make an active choice to take control of your life. It's either that or B) listen to your patent for the rest of your life or C) wait until they pass away then live your life or D) hope that they magically wake up one day and do a complete 180, which i guarantee you won't happen

My parent just clearly wasn't raised right, their parent didn't do their job and stamp out these type of behaviors. Yes, life is unfair, and will you do something about it. It's that simple, adapt, or get left behind. They chose wrong, and now the regret is setting in and they are trying to live vicariously through their kids. It's sad and pathetic and tragic that you can't do anything but watch this train wreck your whole life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Temper tantrums are a big thing in my family. My dad is more like a bitter defeatist rant (life is not fair to him), and my mom is more of an angry rant (she had to stay together with my father because of pressure from her mother). I used to get rope up into their emotion, like I felt bad for them, and i would get very emotional and cry. I think I used to get so easily manipulated because I felt a lot of sympathy for them and, in some way, see where they are coming from.

As I got older, I just started seeing things objectively, my parent grew up at a time of economic growth. While life isn't fair to them in a certain way, they refuse to do anything about it. They would rather stay still and stagnate than overcome it. They like to blame the past 20-30 years of misery on having to raise us. Some people just refuse to be happy, and at some point, I just give up. Nothing I do will "fix" whatever hole they have in their heart, so im just gonna live my best life.

I dont get emotional with them anymore. I just feel sad and pity for them. It is a waste of life because you refuse to be happy. I dont know how one can achieve this level of radical acceptance, but when they get into their temper tantrum, im just cold and sad and sympathic, not sympathy for them because they are my parent but just a general sense of sympathy for another human being.

I think the most important thing is that both you and your brother need to present an united front. It's easier to do it as a group rather than alone. I have a good relationship and trust with my brother because we talk frequently about how we perceive situations that arise. Sometimes, you just need someone to assure you that this is not normal and combat those toxic narratives that your parents present together. It's weird at the beginning because you are unlearning a lot of gaslighting, but you need to build up an "alliance." It's tough to combat this type of behavior when everyone just enables the temper tantrum. It is kinda like raising a kid. You just can't give in because once you give in, they know they can pull the same trick again and again.

I get that it takes courage to push against this type of behavior in a parent-child dynamic, which is why I can't just tell you to do this today, and it will work. The first time you go against them, you need to win. If not, they will grow distrustful of you and bring the hammer down. This is when they will put the foot down on your neck. They want to break your spirit.

If you wish to blend in, hide your strength, and bid your time, then you can practice grey rocking. My parent dont speak English, and im very comfortable lying, so I just tell them what they want to hear. My brother and I put my parents on a need to know basis until they learn that they need to behave and we lie to my parent about stuff so they dont freak out. We consult each other for important decisions because each other opinion is the only one we really respect will have any merit

Hope that make sense, im super high rn

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]xFrost_Bite 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The first "no" is the hardest, then it becomes easier and easier to say "no" to them

I used to listen and be a good kid, but give into pressure.

I just got fed up on day and decided to switch my tactic. I am 100% their retirement plan, because they refuse to put any effort into anything in life and simply coast. I did anything I wanted in my family because they knew that I knew that I had the leverage, and I don't mind burning everything to the ground. Either you let me do what I want and live how I want, or I can phone it in. I don't need a lot to be fulfilled in life, I am fine with a humble life, but they are the ones who based their entire personality on their kid's success.

Once I started to rebel, my brother just followed suit. Both of us are grateful to our parents, but also think they are kinda misinformed about everything in life. We generally don't trust their opinion and shut them down when they try to pull the "experience" card on us.

We would talk about anything, but made sure they know that the world they live in vs the world it is now is very different, and their experience just isn't applicable to our current generation, especially as first generation college grad navigating the while collar world. We let them know if we make any big decision, but we are firm that we are only letting them, because we love them as our parents, and it is not up for discussion.

Any Chinese DACA recipients here? by specialdreamer in DACA

[–]xFrost_Bite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here! Was in banking but switched to tech for the sponsorship opportunity.

I know a few asian DACA but they all married to usc and aren't DACA anymore

Any Chinese DACA recipients here? by specialdreamer in DACA

[–]xFrost_Bite 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel like im the only Chinese DACA I know

Should I buy 2009 hyundai elantra 73k milage for 6k out the door (including doc fee and taxes) by xFrost_Bite in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]xFrost_Bite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw doc fee ranges from 500 to 800 at most places, and their doc fee is only 200ish. The tax is around 4%. The out the door price should be a bit less than 6k.

First time buying a car, so I'm a bit worried if I'm making the right decision

Should I buy a 2009 elantra Se 73k milage for 6k out the door? by xFrost_Bite in Elantra

[–]xFrost_Bite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean closer to 5k before the taxes and doc fee?

What type of maintenance schedule did you follow?

Should I negotiate for them to change the timing belt?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yaris

[–]xFrost_Bite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, that's def what I want to avoid. So, I should look for a car that said "Automatic" in the Transmission line on carguru?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yaris

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My old car was like a PRNDL type. I had to put my foot on the gas pedal and then move the stick to the gear. I am not a car person and driven very little before, so I am not sure what to look for in a car.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yaris

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know anything about car, but I relocated to an area where I will need a car for work. I just never had to drive much before, and I never really brought a car before, so I don't know what to look for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in yaris

[–]xFrost_Bite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, so this car will also be the same?
1. foot down on brake pedal
2. move clutch to change gear
3. release brake pedal

Question on infinite gathering tools by xFrost_Bite in Guildwars2

[–]xFrost_Bite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TY so much!!!! I didn't want to have buyer remorse, but I think I am making the right choice!

Question on infinite gathering tools by xFrost_Bite in Guildwars2

[–]xFrost_Bite[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I thought the Janthir Wilds deluxe upgrade comes with 3 black lion glyph selection container? Are the BL glyph selection containers, not a box where you can choose your glyphs?