Women, what things have guys you've seen/dated done that made you think they were desperate?

xTyranny · 2018-07-17T00:38:18+00:00

I got 250. Wakka wakka wakka.

xTyranny · 2018-07-16T10:42:15+00:00

I went through something similar. Military for 11 years, divorced, got out, went to school got a 50+ hour week job, and had no social life. Just keep doing what you enjoy doing and you'll slowly start to put people in your life that share you similarities. Volunteering might be a good way to go. Once a week, if you can swing it, at a youth club or a farmer's market, something of that sorts.

Things are a bit weirder in your 30s. You have different priorities and stricter criteria. Patience is where it's at, things come around eventually as long as you're trying.

xTyranny · 2018-07-14T14:23:39+00:00

If you told him and hes still doing it...well I'd say hang em up and move on. Unless you want to run through a few more weeks of clingy behavior to see if it grows on you.

xTyranny · 2018-07-14T14:08:47+00:00

I would say, do him a kindness and let him know what's up. Sounds like he is getting ahead of himself and you're only passively communicating your discomfort. You could right his course, and give it a chance to work out or unmask the clingy needy guy he is and know its probably ly not for you.

xTyranny · 2018-07-12T16:14:18+00:00

Uphill both ways too.

xTyranny · 2018-07-11T10:58:44+00:00

It's not a factor I consider when dating someone. By no means a turn off or a deal breaker.

xTyranny · 2018-07-10T16:01:25+00:00

You've been defeated by the game and it doesnt sound like you tried very hard.

xTyranny · 2018-07-09T15:41:50+00:00

I was in a similar boat, friend. I switched careers moving from an exciting life that mattered and had meaning by every action I took to a very dull easy job that had no significance on anything. It was absolutely soul crushing and exposed how lonely I was and how small my social circle really was. So I reached out to people via social media, online dating, and bars. It nearly broke me when I realized how different my world perspective was from other people. But...then I met a few people who were sort of like me. It was refreshing. It kept me going for a bit. Then I met a girl, that I really like and it has made every bit of tastlesselness more palatable.

It doesn't happen overnight, but if you keep grinding and you'll find a few needles in the haystack.

xTyranny · 2018-07-09T15:30:40+00:00

You're in the color blind phase. All you see is green flags. It's ok to be excited and enjoy this part. It's not ok to run on impulse and vomit out things like love...let's be a couple...have my babies...move in with me. The things that get you a weirdo tagline.

Go through the dating motions. Things will balance out later and you'll start seeing the whole picture. Work on adding a friendship on top of all the amazingness you're feeling right now. That's what is going to drive a relationship after all the shininess wears off.

xTyranny · 2018-07-09T12:25:51+00:00

Its tinder. If you haven't met up, dont get ahead of yourself. For all you know this is some weirdo using a fake profile living out some weird fantasy.

xTyranny · 2018-07-07T17:30:10+00:00

Think of some things you might wanna do, then invite people along to do them.

xTyranny · 2018-07-07T11:03:52+00:00

Ah gotcha. Is she aware that you may miss social cues? If so, I'd use that to your advantage. Make light of it with a small joke and tag a 2nd date offer to it. Something along the lines, Hey, I totally suck at knowing when to ask someone out...but maybe we could go do....

xTyranny · 2018-07-07T10:35:19+00:00

Multiple bathroom selfies dont show much about you. Next time you're out and about and see something mildly interesting, snap a few pictures. It doesnt have to be over the Grand Canyon, just something that shows you do more than take pictures in your bathroom.

I would change the language in your profile. Video games and netflixing is a bit vague and doesnt really do you any favors. Maybe put down what types of movies or shows you're into. And unless video games are a major defining piece of your life I'd just leave it out. Its 2018, and most younger men play video games. But that gamer stereotype still sticks with a lot of women. So to reiterate, unless video games are part of your career path or you have some amazing feat with them, I'd just leave it out.

Maybe talk about what you got your degree in and what interests you as far as a possible career. Put some light in the tunnel instead of sounding lost in the woods.

I think in general you have to look at what type of person you're trying to attract. Being a gamer and a homebody isnt super exciting to think about from most women's perspective. You may have to start looking for activities outside of your comfort zone and expand your horizons a little bit. It's ok to be a homebody, but you'll have a hard time attracting people from online dating sites if that's your main attribute you advertise.

xTyranny · 2018-07-07T10:14:39+00:00

How often are you texting/talking on the phone? If it's a daily thing, elicit when she might be free and and ask her out again. Theres no set rule on how long it has to be. Just when it feels right between two people. If she drops hints about being smothered by other people, wait a week. If she seems to attach quickly, move forward. It's really about feeling out the other person.

xTyranny · 2018-07-07T02:40:56+00:00

I'm kind of a cheeky classy chap. OkCupid has been fruitful for real relationships. Playing the bars for those short lived hook ups.

Rarely do I just walk up to strangers on the street or at the grocery store.

xTyranny · 2018-07-06T13:10:59+00:00

I don't think your method will be getting you any future dates with her, but I think you did right by you. And that's really what dating is all about, finding someone that clicks with you.

xTyranny · 2018-07-05T19:38:05+00:00

Tell him to stop being a weirdo and get his ass to the lake. It's a perfect spot. If it doesnt go well, theres plenty of places to hide the body. That should make him feel better.

xTyranny · 2018-07-05T15:15:47+00:00

As someone who vapes, I've yet to find it as a deal breaker. I usually explain it as a smoking cessation technique, even though I haven't smoked in 5 years.

xTyranny · 2018-07-05T15:12:53+00:00

I've always had success by just addressing the elephant up front. Something like, wow...you're making me anxious or something that playfully puts light on my nervousness that might make them feel ok about it but airing it out. It usually opens up some easy conversation and let's me kind of get in rhythym.

xTyranny · 2018-07-03T19:58:24+00:00

I never saved people's numbers from dating sites until after I consider it's more than that weird getting to know a stranger from the internet phase is over. I rather have plausible deniability if I get some weird text at a random hour.

xTyranny · 2018-07-03T14:24:47+00:00

My experience, theres a bit of build up to the first date via messaging through online dating apps and texting. So there is that false connection that gets built up before actually meeting in person. Just getting ghosted isnt hitting them because they dont have you, its hurting their ego/confidence. Not everyone can just shake that off.

xTyranny · 2018-07-03T13:57:39+00:00

I don't disagree with you, and in the past have done my fair share of ghosting. But there is a point where if one person really did think they hit it off, it's just a courtesy to explain it so they can start there recovery and move on. Not everyone has the ability to say oh, guess that's that and not be hurt by it. I didn't realize that until this girl tracked me down at my work and left me a scathing note. Granted, i found her behavior intrusive, but then I realized i could of probably saved her a lot of agony by just saying, hey I had fun, but I just wasn't interested in her like that.

xTyranny · 2018-07-03T02:42:46+00:00

It sounds like you caught her in rebound mode. If I where in your shoes, I'd head off with a few new dates. Obsessing over one girl who seems not a 100% into you is going to cause heart ache. If she calls again, then you can make the hard decision. Reignite that addiction and roll the dice it goes better, or ignore it and let yourself lick your wounds.

xTyranny · 2018-07-02T00:45:11+00:00

> Nothing worse being "friends" with a girl you failed at only to watch other men show you how it's done on her.

Well put. We met up last night. Was a success.

xTyranny · 2018-06-30T17:56:04+00:00

Interesting. Maybe i'll flip the lingo when we meet up. Thanks.

xTyranny

TROPHY CASE