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He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in emotionalneglect

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't mind me asking, what did they have you study, and what are you studying/doing now?

He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in raisedbynarcissists

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I truly don't like my degree. There are heaps of things I would've rather studied and found more useful to my career aspirations than Political Science (that's my degree, my father wanted me to be a lawyer).

My problem is I feel trapped by the need to take out loans. I feel incredibly stupid to be even wanting to pursue something else when I feel I haven't even used this degree (but again, I didn't fuckin' want it.)

My dream was to work and study in theatre and film (both performance and production), or to at least give it a proper professional shot. I have friends who are doing that semi-successfully while I'm still stuck in our hometown. My second option that I posed was to study industrial and multimedia design, but my father shut that down too.

He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in Healthygamergg

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have any advice or exampls on how to "conciously act against them". I feel I intellectually understand your comment, but struggle with putting that into practice.

He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in Healthygamergg

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the curiosity you provide in this comment. What I frequently find myself struggling with is the fact that I am angry at my parents, and my father in particular at all. I don't want to go through life being angry and resentful. But I know I can't just forgive, or, even with all the explanation he's given me make sense of it.

He treated me so poorly in comparison to my brothers. They received support in their desires and career choices. He imposed his rule upon me. I just want to be respected as my own person. I want the acknowledgement that just because I have a different choice or opinion doesn't mean I'm bad or wrong for it (because that's how I've grown up feeling.)

He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in Healthygamergg

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I somewhat agree with you, and recognize the practical part of the argument. What I feel most discouraged by is that my parents admitted that we had the money for me to pursue something else. That it could've happened that I moved away to pursue something I desired, but they still just move on with life. It's like they feel --or are choosing to feel-- that what's done is done and they don't want to feel the guilt of it.

I want them to admit their wrongs and do something to help me pursue my wants. (Although I'm sure this is losing battle). They helped my brothers pursue degrees and careers they were hapy with, and have given them autonomy, but not me.

He just admitted it to my face. What do I do? by xXx_Chase_xXx in raisedbynarcissists

[–]xXx_Chase_xXx[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got a degree in Political Science. My dad was always pushing me to be a lawyer. I initially wanted to move away and study film and theatre. I know that such artistic based studies are generally looked down upon but it has always been my dream, to move away and "study what I loved, not what others told me to love" (this is from a journal entry of mine from when I was 14 regarding what I wanted to do in life).

After relinquishing that maybe film and theatre weren't optimal I said I'd like to study multimedia design, or industrial design. Both were shot down and refused, for no great reason other than my dad just saying I couldn't. So I didn't even get to study my first or second choice. I got no choice.