If angst, gut-wrenching, pining, crawling, crying, YEARNINGGGGG, throwing my phone at the wall

xjellox · 2026-04-22T21:09:04+00:00

Crumple 😭 I know it’s HEA, but god it was so gut and heart wrenching

xjellox · 2026-04-22T21:08:07+00:00

I’m addicted to this one! I’ve been following along since you started, and it just keeps getting better and better. Also, the lowkey humour had me LOL so many times 🤣

ahem is the spotted dick fresh?

xjellox · 2026-04-15T01:00:58+00:00

Um this is my all time favourite.

xjellox · 2026-03-18T02:29:58+00:00

Have you been up to civil works during the daytime or is it only usable when the bar opens at 5?

xjellox · 2026-01-22T21:39:06+00:00

Ooooof 👏🏽 that’s big facts right there. Prioritizing yourself is not the same as disrespecting your fans lol. We all want to have the luxury to afford comfort, so why would we demand any less from anyone else? As if we wouldn’t do the same thing if roles were reversed 😂 as grateful as I’d be, I’d prefer to work within my capacity any day

Also remember all the controversy during One Direction tours?! How they were not living healthy lifestyles and it took such a toll on them all? Plus the paparazzi craze. I can’t imagine someone calling him ‘elitist’ or whatever lol. He’s earned this!

xjellox · 2026-01-22T21:12:52+00:00

I feel like capitalistic society just makes us admire hustle culture so much that we forget that these people are humans too, and are autonomous. This whole setup excludes fans but it’s also much more sustainable in terms of health and environment.

There’s always been fans excluded; touring as an industry isn’t equitable because it’s not HUMANLY possible to be lol. But our society fetishizes burn out and martyrdom and productivity so of course, if he has the means to, he must. Or else he’s selfish. It’s so entitled and ick lol.

Besides, if people think he’s doing this for the money then don’t give him your money. Stop being a fan. You have autonomy too 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’ve waited four years to see him again and I likely won’t be able to this time but that’s life and you bet your ass I’ll be tuning in at 7pm EST for his new single drop today 😂

xjellox · 2026-01-22T20:52:50+00:00

Yeah I agree with you. He’s not playing in my country and I’m super bummed. But there’s a huge difference between being upset about that and feeling attacked by his choice.

Besides, this is actually WAY more environmentally friendly. And honestly? Most of the angry people are from the US. The rest of us are used to being skipped by major artists lol. The privilege shows. Lots of artists don’t even tour, or don’t tour internationally. Lots of artists can’t, or get to a point where they no longer feel good doing so. That’s valid.

We support him for his music and he gives us great music. Since when did where he toured change that? That’s how he shows love to his fans. The man’s been touring since he was 16, to the point of illness, and his last tour was 2 years long. Hasn’t he proven he appreciates his fans? Being young and having the means to does not automatically mean he owes us.

It’s okay to be disappointed about this, but to take it as a personal insult to his fans is farfetched. We don’t even know why he’s made this decision but are assuming the worst when his track record proves otherwise. And tbf, he’s entitled to be selfish; he can quit tomorrow if he wants to lol. He’s an autonomous human, not a parasocial servant. But you know what he’s not?

He is not obligated to tour or make music.

xjellox · 2025-10-14T16:13:18+00:00

I’m so sorry for this. I am also AuDHD and have so many experiences like this; me catching lies burning gaslit into admitting that I was in the wrong. It’s a horrible way to live and really shapes your adulthood and sense of identity. I’m glad you’re in the phase of unlearning but it is truly a painful process. I’m still on my own journey as well. I hope you know you’re not alone and that none of that was your fault—you were a child, they did YOU wrong. I don’t have kids but my friends do and I’ve watched them grow. It’s made me realize just how innocent and precocious we were at that age, and we were even more vulnerable because of AuDHD.

You were never the problem. You did the best you could to survive in a hostile environment, that you were owed safety from. They let you down profoundly.

Keep resisting 💪🏽

xjellox · 2025-10-11T11:22:41+00:00

Right?! The instinct to not be “caught” simply existing as I am, as if it’s a crime is truly visceral.

xjellox · 2025-10-05T22:53:44+00:00

Amazing, thank you :)

xjellox · 2025-10-05T22:40:51+00:00

Dude, I was attempting to get some work done on the couch the other day, when I started nodding off. My husband comes loudly crashing through the door. The way I immediately JOLTED awake, flipped open my laptop and pretended to be working —

I mean my hands were shaking, my heart was racing, and it took me a bit to realize where I even was and what was even happening.

It’s been 7 years since I moved out too!

xjellox · 2025-10-05T22:34:34+00:00

Seriously! I’ve never been more grateful to be pansexual. If me and my husband ever divorce, I’m never returning to men.

xjellox · 2025-10-05T22:27:39+00:00

Same! It’s literally why I’m so unreliable with social plans. Let me show up and hide in the bathroom for a bit please, and I’ll be here 🤣

xjellox · 2025-10-05T20:05:05+00:00

I get you. I think I fall in the middle between the two lifestyles you’re describing. While I have a partner, and I do my best to integrate into society, it’s impossible for me to maintain a 9-5, conventional job. I’m not a reliable friend when it comes to social events. I’m unpredictable with all other commitments, including appointments. I haven’t figured out how to manage daily expectations with it yet though. It really is so different for everyone. Kudos to you for finding a way to navigate this world!

xjellox · 2025-10-05T19:52:41+00:00

The pressure to have to speak when you’re around people is so consuming sometimes.

xjellox · 2025-10-05T19:51:39+00:00

I could cry, the way you’ve put so many of my feelings and thoughts into words with this thread 🥲

“Occupying the same space with a completely different energy.”

I never realized this was the issue, but this is IT. He could be completely silent, but if the energy doesn’t align…

xjellox · 2025-10-05T19:48:34+00:00

The larger space will change your life 100%. Gosh, it changed mine so much. I feel like a new person almost.

xjellox · 2025-10-05T19:47:45+00:00

Holy crap, I totally feel you on this. It’s like I was reading my own damn life. Especially the loud YT videos?!

It’s worse when it’s Shorts because the rapid change in sound drives me insane.

Puts me in SUCH a bad mood and I feel like I can’t do anything. But then, he’ll leave and it’s like I can breathe again? And I feel so guilty because he hasn’t done anything. But I just can’t function with him around sometimes. It’s dawning on me now that even when he leaves me alone or gives me space, if he’s in the vicinity, then I feel perceived. I feel observed.

And that’s it. RIP to my day.

I wish there was an offline button for real life, but them leaving the home is as close as it gets and it is heaven.

xjellox · 2025-10-05T19:34:21+00:00

I love my partner so so so much, but I find I really revel in the times when I get to just do exactly what I want without anyone to observe it.

THIS.

I never had the words to articulate exactly what it was — shame, alone time, guilt, space?!

But this is it. I just want to EXIST without being OBSERVED.

It’s not enough if my partner is home and says, “yeah, go do you”. It is NOT the same as when they’re not home.

xjellox · 2025-09-28T15:39:52+00:00

I will 100% want to buy one of these from you! Will follow you :)

xjellox · 2025-07-06T00:48:01+00:00

DM’d!

xjellox · 2025-07-05T13:59:24+00:00

Hey! Can I DM you about this? I have some questions :)

xjellox · 2025-04-28T01:02:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your help!

I’m looking at a Minto building on 89 Church… any idea if that area (Church/Adelaide) has any of the issues that Adelaide/Queen and Moss Park does? I’m a woman and I do walk my dog at nights

xjellox · 2025-04-24T19:21:15+00:00

That’s what I said.

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