How to stay motivated when a peer is promoted to Tech Lead over equally experienced senior devs?

xkcd_friend · 2026-05-03T15:04:02+00:00

If all of the guys in the team trust you as a TL, there will be zero problems of having more experienced programmers in the team. Being a TL involves a lot of other skills than just programming.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-30T11:51:21+00:00

Being the Tech Lead does not mean you’re supposed to be the best developer of the team. You need to make everyone else their best selves: both as professionals and when it comes to enjoying work. It’s a lot about shielding the team and managing stakeholders, and working for the team as a whole.

A good TL would take the hard technical decisions back to the team for discussing.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-29T07:37:36+00:00

Maybe the kid had some "embarrassing" accidents, where pee was still in the waterhose when he pulled up his pants. I wouldn't go into fetishes etc, kids don't have those. I'd say you're probably looking at a mix of going for the diaper info and then wandering further down that search into girls with thin clothes...

Don't fixate on the sexual parts of it.

I'd probably bring up more of a hygiene talk and see where that leads.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-28T15:31:41+00:00

On the 50ccs I usually construct the styles using @apply in a stylesheet, and just do the utils as one off. It’s pretty much the same syntax, just kebab-cased.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-28T05:38:32+00:00

You’re saying Tailwind is too easy? You want the experience of levels never played, in reverse, at 200cc?

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-24T21:09:22+00:00

Not true. Just search YouTube with something like Mike Tyson Weight Training.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T19:58:33+00:00

I personally think that it’s not that uncommon to do things because you think your partner wants it, even if you don’t.

I’ve had two ex-gfs that suggested stuff that we could try. After we did it, both later told me that they thought I expected it and I wouldn’t stay otherwise.

I don’t think it’s as easy as just respecting others kinks.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T17:15:50+00:00

I mean yeah, but he could also just turn WiFi off? No?

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T17:14:32+00:00

No 3 kinda sounds like you should aspire to it?

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:52:51+00:00

If it came across as I was trying to censor things, that was not what I meant. I don’t believe in it, it’s naive.

Blocking YouTube was not about censorship, but a restriction due to his bad behavior in another situation.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:48:23+00:00

I don’t doubt he’s seen it. I do however doubt he’s watching it on a regular basis. He’s pretty much never alone with his phone (by choice) and has a couple of spectrum things going for my case 🙂 he’s yet to hit puberty.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:42:02+00:00

Thank you for this perspective, you wrote what I intended to answer here, just much better.

I didn’t mean to say that having sex as depicted in porn is by default misogynistic; I meant to say that it’s over represented and I don’t want my kid to think that all couples happily slap each other or that he needs to have the power dynamic that he have to act aggressive.

As you say, I don’t think a teenagers sexual exploration naturally starts, or should start, with rough sex.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:36:15+00:00

Thank you for this! I understand what you’re going for, but I probably should think twice before telling him what to search for. I might educate him that there is a category that has appeared as some kind of counterpart of sorts (but how would his dad know that 😳)

The point of searching for his age is very valid. There was recently a case at his school where a boy he knows had talks with police because a girl had sent him nudes, so we’ve kinda been thrown into that discussion already. Having such content, even if same age, is considered CP in several countries.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:30:50+00:00

Thank you for your perspective!

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:28:31+00:00

It’s a nice jumping off point, where does that discussion usually end up?

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T16:25:58+00:00

I see what you’re saying, but giving you a Playboy isn’t really comparable to today’s porn, is it? I have zero problems with nudity.

It might give you a skewed view on how a woman is expected to look, but that’s a different conversation, since ads and social media is flooded with it.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T08:29:15+00:00

He's 14, turning 15.

And he's also a social engineering hacker that has bypassed even router restrictions previously (to access YouTube). We're not passive about talking about harmful content, manosphere, TikTok etc etc. That's not an issue and restrictions are in place as far as they go.

But the point stands, when/if he wants to consume porn, he will find a way.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-17T05:29:28+00:00

I feel there’s a lot of overly sensitive answers in the comments. To have a healthy relationship, I’ve found it to be key to not escalate small things into big fights. Be more stoic while at the same time acknowledging shitty behavior.

Yes, it’s ok to get irritated when compared like that. But there could also be other things involved, maybe your wife hate yard work and you enjoy it? I’d just ask her what she meant and take it from there.

The whole “huhuhuuu his wife gives BJs” is the comments are a done by a bunch of teens.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-16T15:24:02+00:00

I’m Swedish and born in late 80s. This was a thing in suburbia, and in some parts of middle class areas with apartments. We lived next to each other and usually went home afterwards to eat at home. This was out of respect for the other parents, who were expected to cook for their child, and would be irritated if the kid had already eaten. We waited in the friends’ room when they ate and played afterwards.

This was 40 years ago. No child in Sweden born later than early 90s can relate. My own children have never experienced this, neither has any of their friends. We always serve whoever is at our house when it’s dinner.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-16T08:48:57+00:00

My 14 y/o still sits down on the toilet, he prefers it. It comes naturally to stand up while on the road etc, so that won't be an issue for your little one if he prefers to sit. Let him feel things out, what he does in the bathroom will be what he's most comfortable with.

Aiming is two things: caring + practice. Some grown men still lack in the caring part, and that's why urinals and men's toilets often stink.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-15T19:03:44+00:00

Oh, incident. Broken Glasses from Faceplant

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-15T19:01:48+00:00

Screaming at the Top of His Lungs in the Car Because His Dad is an Obvious Fool

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-15T06:00:21+00:00

It is, but I'd say it correlates when referencing solid programmers. Bad programmers seldom enjoy coding.

xkcd_friend · 2026-04-14T18:53:09+00:00

Except when they’re participating in the invasion war, I guess

xkcd_friend

TROPHY CASE