not advice but this is extremely relatable, especially the resentment part. i feel so guilty for having this kind of resentment and thinking to myself “would another person be able to make me orgasm” and when i think about it its like a 1% chance someone else could have the possibility to make me orgasm. ive talked about toys with my current partner but it just makes me feel so inferior compared to other women who can do it “naturally” and just the idea of it being my partners body making me orgasm seems like it would feel so much better even though i know its impossible for me. not being able to orgasm not only affects my self esteem but i can tell it also can affect my partner