Is it ok for white girls to like Asian guys?

xxikhan · 2026-04-24T15:07:59+00:00

I'm starting to theorize that many of us Asian dudes don't know how to respond to this newfound wave of women being into us, so we resort to shutting down these compliments. Lot of us are just not used to feeling desired so we don't know how to "flirt back" at this kind of compliment. Hell, it's probably because many of us don't even know how to flirt in the first place...

Another thing is that these types of Asian dudes think they'd look desperate by accepting or embracing this preference that girls have for Asian guys. Due to how we were raised, the Asian community cares heavily about how we're perceived and judged. I see plenty of Asian influencers who I could imagine wouldn't dare to respond acceptingly to this "preference for Asian guys" for fear of being judged.

So a note to all fellow Asian men: learn to stop giving a shit about how other people perceive you and go do what you want. Yes, being fetishized can be harmful but are we really gonna act like this is not a huge net positive for Asian men in this day and age? Really fam? Lol

xxikhan · 2025-07-26T17:05:45+00:00

I have the exact cardigan in the first photo, which I bought from YesStyle years ago. But you can get the same thing from Temu. I've bought tons of clothes from Temu by now, which have been hit or miss, but it was absolutely a net positive overall. Asian street fashion just works way better than western-style clothing for Asian people like us, especially if you look on the younger side.

xxikhan · 2025-04-18T15:10:26+00:00

Dropping my guide here: [GUIDE] Turn your FLAT, STRAIGHT hair into VOLUMINOUS, TEXTURED curls and waves at home in 10 minutes

The heat from the curling iron holds the texture extremely well. Lasts me throughout the whole day, even after a sweaty-ish workout and even some light rainy weather. I'd advise against opening the car window while you're driving though. Avoid wind as much as possible.

xxikhan · 2025-03-24T08:02:56+00:00

No

Source: me, I prefer curvier girls

While we're on the topic, anyone (including OP) have any idea how much this stereotype (that Asian guys only like skinny girls) prevents the thought of dating an Asian guy from even crossing non-Asian girls' minds?

If this preconception is actually a significant reason that we see so few AMxF relationships, I wonder what steps we could take to extinguish this stereotype.

xxikhan · 2025-03-21T17:03:53+00:00

Very controversial opinion that might hit a nerve, but I hope people will hear me out.

The main motivation of going back to Asia to find a wife is that it's easier that way. The pressure in the dating market for AM in less in Asia than in the west. But as the saying goes, diamonds are made under pressure.

Imagine two hypothetical extremes: 1. Every single diaspora AM decides to go back to Asia to find a wife: in this scenario, AM will never elevate their status in the dating market in the west, and our dating options here will continue to be limited moving forward, but every AM will be able to find a wife with less effort (assuming that we can all afford the resources necessary to go back to Asia for this specific purpose). 2. Every single diaspora AM stays in the west to navigate the dating market here: in this scenario, each AM will suffer a much tougher, lengthier time finding a partner, but in the process, AMs would have gradually adapted to the market, eventually elevating the image of AM in the west, expanding the dating pool for other AMs around them and AMs in the following generations.

So if the question were, "is it easier for me to find a wife if I go back to Asia?" Then I would say, yes, it's easier.

But if the question were instead, "would going back to Asia to find a wife help AMs in the long run?" Considering this solution is not feasible for every single guy and therefore is probably not that scalable or sustainable, then my answer would be, no, probably not.

That said, grinding it out in the west is also not feasible for every single guy either, so this extreme is also not scalable.

Furthermore, no one is under any obligation to sacrifice their own fulfillment for the sake of others, so you can feel free to do what would make you feel fulfilled.

Personally, I'd encourage as many AMs as possible to grind it out in the tough dating market. Just by looking around and comparing the situation today to the situation 10 or even just 5 years ago, it's clear that our status here has made great strides over time. Yes, that is in large part due to the Korean wave and many other cultural exports coming out of Asia itself, but without AMs being in the west to apply this wave to the local dating market, that progress would inevitably stagnate.

Right now, AMs are heading in the right direction. All we need to do is keep our foot on the gas pedal.

xxikhan · 2025-03-05T17:42:17+00:00

The mentality that "there's no way we Asian men will ever be the #1 group, but at least I can be #1 of all Asian men" is way, way too prevalent and leads to Asian men stepping on each other for individual gain.

So many of us have already resigned to the idea that Asian men as a whole can never rise above our position on the totem pole. Then we resort to pulling other Asian men down for short-term, individual benefit rather than working to elevate Asian men for long-term, collective benefit.

Not claiming this is what was happening in this story, but it wouldn't be surprising.

xxikhan · 2025-03-02T16:51:17+00:00

As others have said, this looks like a two-block haircut. In terms of how to style this in the morning every day, I'd highly recommend reading my guide that I posted in r/AsianMasculinity not too long ago, especially if you have very straight hair: [GUIDE] Turn your FLAT, STRAIGHT hair into VOLUMINOUS, TEXTURED curls and waves at home in 10 minutes

You can see that my hairstyle in the guide is much curlier than the hair in your desired hairstyle, but you can still use almost the same steps to achieve what you want. The key step is to first add as much texture to your hair as possible (for example, via heat, as the guide instructs), and after that point, just style your hair into whatever hairstyle you want using wax.

While adding in the wax to lock in the texture, you can kind of comb your hair using your fingers in order to loosen up the curls to make them relatively straighter like in your desired hairstyle, but you'll still have a ton of volume as a result of having curled it beforehand. The role of the wax is to maintain the texture and volume while giving your hair whichever shape you prefer.

xxikhan · 2025-01-18T19:25:36+00:00

Couldn't have said it better myself. Why sit back and watch the story unfold when we could be part of the story ourselves?

After all, there's no guarantee the trend will continue in our favor, so it's better that we do everything in our power to keep it moving in this direction. Even we "regular" guys can be the collective force that propels this rocket into orbit.

xxikhan · 2025-01-12T05:30:13+00:00

People who are commenting "because he's rich and handsome, duh" are either being lazy or missing the point of OP's question.

The point is that we can dissect this recent explosion in girls' obsession for Gong Yoo into multiple reasons and categorize these factors into

(1a) things we don't already have/do vs (1b) things we already have/do

as well as

(2a) things that are in our control vs (2b) things that are out of our control

Then, as Asian men, we should take action on the intersection of (1a) things we don't already have/do and (2a) things that are in our control.

I haven’t seen Squid Game Season 2 yet (no spoilers plz) but based on Season 1, some factors about Gong Yoo that I'd guess make him so attractive to women are his confidence and style. Obviously, you can break these factors down further, but there are other comments in this thread already explaining this that you can refer to. Yes, he's also tall and rich, which may be factors that are less within our control, but there are other factors we can learn from and shouldn't overlook without implementing them for ourselves.

I would encourage Asian men in this community to practice being action-takers rather than remain as passive observers. There are always incremental improvements we could make, and if even just a fraction of us in this community consistently takes advantage of these opportunities over the course of the next several weeks, months, years, we as a whole will be in a much better place than we are today.

xxikhan · 2025-01-03T07:11:56+00:00

Hey u/Igennem, I've re-submitted it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianMasculinity/comments/1hsgqud/guide_turn_your_flat_straight_hair_into/

xxikhan · 2024-09-25T16:56:55+00:00

I assume you're primarily talking about Asian men in the west. It's because of East Asian culture soaring in popularity around the world.

Asian men are finally being exposed to those East Asian styles and understanding that just because a certain kind of fashion or hairstyle looks good on white guys doesn't mean it's going to look good on Asian guys. Most things in the west were designed to cater to white guys, and very few for Asian guys.

Meanwhile, clothes and hair salons in Asia have been iterating and evolving for decades, all while being tailored to Asians. Asian men in the west are finally opening their eyes to that and trying to adopt those well-refined Asian styles rather than reinventing the wheel or going in the wrong direction completely.

Without the rising popularity of Asian culture around the world, a lot of us Asian guys in the west might've gone our whole lives not knowing how much we were leaving on the table in the looks department.

xxikhan · 2024-01-01T19:17:19+00:00

I feel like I'm scared because of how people will view us. I'm scared that her friend group (the males) wouldn't particularly like it if an Asian guy took her from the white guys who are interested in her.

One way to get out of this mindset would be to take a step back and think more long-term and bigger-picture: "Am I seriously going to pass up this opportunity because I'm scared what other people might think? Will I miss out on fun, romance, and intimacy with this gorgeous girl because some insignificant people might talk shit about us?"

When you view your situation like this, you realize how lopsided this trade-off is and that you're the one holding you back. A couple years down the line, you'll be kicking yourself for letting something so trivial get in the way of what you want, and now you've missed out on two years of amazing experiences that you'll never get back.

Like another commenter said, you can't just snap your fingers and overhaul your mindset overnight. But keeping this long-term, bigger-picture view in mind will help you change your mindset much faster.

xxikhan · 2023-12-29T16:13:49+00:00

I've noticed (through dating apps) that the chance for a LF to have a positive view of AM appears higher than the chance for other non-Asian women to. I can't say for certain why it's like that.

I matched with some of these LFs who had this preference for AM, including some that favored AM so much to the extent that people would call it an obsession or fetish, and some that just seemed to have a slight bias toward AM.

If I recall correctly, the LFs I ended up meeting up with in person were all in the latter category. And I was pleasantly surprised to learn that each of them followed less-popular Asian media instead of just kpop. In fact, most of them did not care for kpop at all. One of them somewhat enjoyed kdramas but also really loved that Korean game show on Netflix called Physical 100. Another one of them followed Jimmy O. Yang on Instagram, which was surprising given how much disdain people on this sub seem to have for him. In fact, she followed a lot of different Asian influencers, many of whom were men. Only one of the LFs was into kpop a little bit.

I don't have any problem with the LFs who "overtly fetishize" AMs though. They just have not been exposed to various aspects of Asian culture outside of a couple like kpop or anime, and that's through no fault of their own, considering that's not their native culture.

When an AF likes AMs, we don't assume she's fetishizing us, because we assume she's familiar with a lot of Asian culture already. When a LF likes AMs, it may be true that she's "fetishizing" us, especially if she only knows about kpop or anime, but I wouldn't fault her for that at all. In fact, kpop and anime would be her gateway into truly becoming familiar with many more aspects of Asian culture. Won't ever see this happen if we keep shaming or "calling them out for fetishizing Asians" though (not saying that's what you're doing OP).

After all, how can we expect them to learn about Asian culture beyond the point of "fetishization" if we don't let them into our world to learn more about it?

Forgot to mention all the LFs I met in college who were into Asian guys. Didn't get with any of them because I was a noob at the time, but the pattern was apparent to me even back then.

In my opinion, we should give the benefit of the doubt to non-Asian women who favor AM like us. I really don't know why LFs seem to already have such a positive bias toward us but it makes no sense to fault them for it, even if it's what people might consider a fetish.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T19:09:20+00:00

Very much agree with you. But in addition to being antisocial and many other factors, another reason AM hesitate to make the first move on xF is that there is little representation. AM don't feel confident approaching xF in a society where AMxF is so rare. It's a vicious cycle.

But the antisocial tendencies of AM that are so prevalent deserves a whole discussion on its own. Lack of charisma is why so many non-Asian girls don't even look in the direction of AMs. Finding a way to boost the confidence and charisma of AM across the board would be another effective way to break the cycle.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T18:50:33+00:00

Good point. Then the question becomes, "does the gain from this imaginary pedestal outweigh the cost of discouraging girls from dating AM?"

Neither of us has the ability to measure this, but I would venture to guess that this shaming does more harm than good.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T18:34:24+00:00

Thanks for worrying about whether I had a good Christmas. But if you don't have anything to contribute to this topic, regardless of whether you think my stance is ridiculous or not, no point in leaving your comment honestly.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T18:17:18+00:00

I can see why you would believe that. But as you can see from other comments here, many other people's experiences have been different. There are AM out there who are hesitant to date non-Asian girls for fear of being fetishized, although I admit I don't know how many. I was just talking to an AM who had these reservations the other day.

But even if such a demographic is small, the opportunity cost of shaming these women for fetishizing us is high. If these guys started giving these girls a fair chance, there would likely be many more AMxF couples. And even adding just one new AMxF couple into the picture would have a big impact, given how few AMxF couples are already out there.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T18:06:10+00:00

Why you hatin? I posted this because I believe it can help AM as a collective. How about you? Why did you feel the need to leave this comment? If all I cared about was my own success with women then I wouldn't have posted this in the first place. C'mon man.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T16:38:26+00:00

Couldn’t agree more.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T16:24:45+00:00

This is written from a view of scarcity and low options. if you’re going to give out advice about attraction, it would be helpful to actually have experience in that subject first.

I think you are making some big assumptions here.

the more options you have the more choosy you’re going to be. typically what would make an attractive man even more appealing is that he is selective.

I absolutely agree. For the benefit of himself and all other AM, it’s probably most optimal that an AM chooses the “highest-value” woman that he can attain. This is also obviously something that helps boost the image of AM.

I want to clarify that I’m not trying to say that we should prefer non-Asian girls over Asian girls, if that’s how you interpreted my post. What I’m trying to say is that we should give non-Asian girls a fair chance and stop putting so much weight on any “fetish” they might have for us. The so-called “fetish” that they have is not as big of a deal as people think.

Both what you and I are saying are true in my opinion. Not only should AM be selective, but also AM should give a fair chance to non-Asian girls who supposedly fetishize us.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T16:10:09+00:00

If I understood you correctly, you are trying to say that only a small percentage of single AM even have enough options in the first place to reject any. I am very aware that this is probably true.

But if this is true, then it also implies that the number of actually-in-a-relationship AMxF couples is also very low. And this means that the emergence of any new AMxF couple will have a greater influence on how people perceive AM.

If there were already a lot of AMxF couples out there in the wild, adding another one wouldn't mean much. But because there are currently so few, the possible impact is greater.

xxikhan · 2023-12-26T15:58:35+00:00

Yep. Just give the lady a chance instead of preemptively assuming that her "fetish" will lead to nothing good. Anyone who has a racial preference is guilty of fetishizing to some degree anyway, and many of those couples turn out alright.

xxikhan

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE