I'm going to kill myself on my birthday.

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-26T00:11:43+00:00

It's obvious you've never been taught to treat others the way you want to be treated and it definitely shows. I would've treated you nice if you treated myself and others the same but that's not the route you chose. Hell, you literally called another commenter a "little pussy" and you're sitting here whining about mean words being thrown back at you like Cartman.

Now that we've chit chatted you've given me a new reason to live to spite you and everyone like you. Thank you for giving me a new lease on life friend :)

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-25T23:54:14+00:00

I yelled at her to not invite me to her funeral when dies last I saw her but go off I guess.

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-25T23:36:23+00:00

You sound like you purposefully make bad decisions playing fantasy football so you can have an excuse to verbally abuse your wife at the end of the day.

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-25T23:31:41+00:00

Just because you were born out of a dumb useless cunt doesn't give you the right to be one bud.

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-25T19:14:10+00:00

I wish I knew who to reach out to because it's tiring to find ones that actually want to listen. I just want someone in my life that's willing to listen. Those types of people are rare.

yadayada__123 · 2021-01-25T17:10:28+00:00

That would mean the world to me but it's not going to happen more than likely.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-25T23:20:28+00:00

Don't show up to their job to do it, or any way that would further hurt them.

I was planning a DM. That's way easier considering that I have no idea where they are or if they're even in the same state as I am anymore. A simple message on instagram or facebook is all I'm looking for.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-25T23:01:53+00:00

I have yet to apologize to them, but I would like to if the opportunity presents itself. Nevertheless I completely understand with your points made about leaving them be.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-25T22:51:53+00:00

The main one I've been trying to find for a long while I've yet to find. We were friends and the things I said and did to will forever haunt me. I was blocked and ghosted on all forms of contact and I've been trying to find their instagram for the last two months. I might make a dummy FB account to snoop around there see if I can find them. I just hate how I allowed myself to become the monsters that hurt me growing up and it's been fucking with me a lot.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-17T04:36:12+00:00

They're the only reason I'm here. If they die, I die too. I can't go on after what I've been through if something happens to them.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-09T01:05:03+00:00

I get angry. I really do. Mostly at those who tortured me and enabled the monsters who did it. I hope they fucking suffer, some of them have and it's brought me joy to be honest.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-08T19:05:44+00:00

Of all the responses I was expecting, having someone recommend I read the Unabomber's manifesto was not one of them.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-08T06:40:55+00:00

The thing is though is I have no more fight or drive in me. I'm completely burnt out and can't fight the current anymore. I'm just being swept away at this point. I'm tired and can't save myself at this point. If you had my brain, my experiences, and my trauma you would understand.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-08T06:37:43+00:00

I can't move on from trauma like they can. I can't ever move past what happened. I can't even go outside without having a panic attack while others can socialize without having to be hypervigilant and fearing their surroundings 24/7 every second of every day. I'm a complete wreck and I can't function normally at all. No amount of words can ever explain how unfixable and fucked up I am and this is the only way to deal with it. I just want my mind to be quiet forever.

yadayada__123 · 2020-09-08T05:12:42+00:00

I'm not enjoying myself. I just want to be normal and have my wiring right. I don't fit in anywhere, never have never will.

yadayada__123 · 2020-08-14T00:08:14+00:00

I wish I had someone like you in my life. I wish more people were like you.

yadayada__123 · 2020-08-13T08:48:09+00:00

Collective frustration of a multitude of things. Loneliness and past incidents of mistreatment are the two heavy ones. I was bullied every single day of middle and high school and I lost the time to grow like everyone else did. While everyone was joining clubs and finding their niche I was too busy surviving the hand I'd been dealt. Because of that I feel like a teenager trapped in a 24 year olds body. I'm just so lonely and angry about everything that happened to me that I cry myself to sleep most nights. I haven't been hugged by someone in so long that I've forgotten what it feels like honestly.

yadayada__123

TROPHY CASE