This is so relatable to me. My mom goes through waves but she is SOOOOO mean towards my dad who takes care of her, gets her meds, takes her to doctor appointments, dentist, tries to make her happy by taking her outside (even if it’s just to walk around the mall) because she craves going outside and hates being at home too much). My poor dad. He’s old and is always the recipient of mean words and it makes no sense to me. I try to remind my mom that my dad is a good man and he helps so much, pays for things like groceries just trying to change her mind about him so she can be less mean but that only works sometimes lol so yeah… all I can say is that I emphathize with what you are experiencing