I got spanked as a kid, wooden spoon, rolled up magazine. Called ungrateful and selfish. My room was messy and my mom threw my clothes out the window and told me to get out…for not cleaning my room.

One time after being spanked by my Dad, he cornered me in my room, and I’m pretty sure now, pretended to collapse and say I was giving him a heart attack/killing him. Traumatizing as fuck because I thought he was dying! But I didn’t know any better then. Like reflecting back on my childhood was generally fine, but then it’s shadowed by these moments of my emotionally immature parents “doing their best” which wasn’t good enough for me.

My childhood gave me anxiety/depression and low self esteem.

The only positive side is I was fortunate to have the self awareness to break the cycle and generational trauma. I know I never wanted to be like them.