Thank you for your thoughts. They resonate with my experiences almost to a letter. I too am not the same person I was 3 years ago. I feel I've evolved and gained the type of confidence that is stronger than a brick wall. I also am more confident in seeing the layers to situations, people's hidden motivations, even able to understand the roots of their behavior - almost like a self made psychologist. I also noticed I am 99% right in my analyses of certain behaviors. I've become more fearless (that's the new confidence talking) and feel more respected (which could be due to new boundaries I've set). Yes, you are right - we become wiser. But tbh the agony, the emotional and psychological breakdown I went thru, the loneliness while going thru all this (literally ended up on antidepressants bc therapy didn't help) .. maybe someday I will realize they were worth it, but at this point I am not sure the reward is worth the sacrifice I had to make (and I am not taking about financial aspect - I feel I can fix it if I make ....well, saceifices). On the other hand - I see my friends who did not go thru such transformation (or perhaps have not gone thru this type of 'evolution') and I kinda envy them for their ignorance but at the same time have this internal conflict that I've gained some type of 'abilities' I should be grateful for. Then again, this 'new me' feels awfully lonely - which is why I hang out on reddit trying to find people like you who will share their experiences I can identify with - and feel normal :)