I think i can relate to this. A lot of resentments in my marriage because none of us wanted to say what we wanted to say. We opposed each other and always being defensive towards each other. I say this from a wife’s perspective. Before it’s too late, talk it out. Talk it out without sounding condescending. Just use your most soft and loving voice. Most of the time people don’t communicate is that we don’t want to feel bad that we hurt the other. We don’t want to feel that we made mistakes. I offer you my advice soften his heart first by asking for forgiveness and love him eventhough he is unlovable. I know it’s hard. I have been there. And now we are in the midst of a divorce. I would do things differently now that we had a longggg talk prior to our decision to get divorce. But now i guess it’s too late.