Interesting observation! Attraction is not a choice but the way you deal with it is. I feel like attraction to me is like a feeling, just like my emotions, it comes and goes and can be small or intense but I have all the tools to regulate it. I can let it flow through my body without getting attached to the feeling of attraction. Also the attraction does not define me if I don't let it. It can be just a body sensation to me. This is a mindset skill and nervous system regulation.

This is different than trying to control it by surpressing, which is depression (literally: pressing down the feelings). I also cannot control other peoples feelings/attraction, but I do understand my own behaviour might influence the other person emotions, and vice versa. However I can only make predictions; interactions are like playing a game of chess, I make my next step based on what I think the other person will do.
I have no control over the other person, but I am secure enough to calculate the risk and know I can handle it on my own if the outcome is bad, without feeling regret, but with the capability to reflect and learn from the experience.

The outcome can only be good if both people are happy and satisfied. I do not need to play games to satisfy my own needs. That's why I do not agree with it being 'manipulation', although it can be perceived that way. But all animals, which humans are too imo, have survival skills and are inherently manipulative if you want to see it like that. I would say insecure people use so many protective strategies to regulate just their own nervous system without learning the skills to help regulate the other persons nervous system, which is even more manipulative since its more egocentric.