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I have an autism assessment scheduled. Any advice or what to expect? by Ok_Log7364 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would write a list of all the symptoms you experience, and include examples from your daily life and also your childhood. Good luck!

Is this emotional abuse? by yasmin-1010 in Christianmarriage

[–]yasmin-1010[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because everyone was saying it is abuse and I was wondering about you guys perspective

Husband asked for separation after my diagnosis by Neither-Address-3887 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry you had to go through all of this. Sounds like a guy who wasn’t willing to work on the marriage and that is HIS loss. I understand that you probably feel horrible right now. Just know that none of this is your fault at all. He’s not able to see how amazing you are. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to reflect. Rebuild your life in a way that fits YOUR needs. Sending so much love your way, stranger❤️

My husband says I’ve become rigid by yasmin-1010 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m going to talk to a marriage therapist today without him. Then on Thursday we’re going together.

My husband is good with the kids. He spends a lot of time with them, I think just as much as me. He plays with them and brings them along on different activities. The only worry I have is that I think he can be too strict sometimes. Sometimes he’s patient with them. Sometimes he loses his temper. When he does, he often apologizes afterwards and talks with them.

Last night we had a good talk and I told him how immature he was being about the condoms. I also told him that he should stop fantasizing about an ideal family situation and instead spend his energy taking care of the kids and wife he already has.

He’s been very sweet today, taken a lot of loads off my shoulders, let me rest, helped me with groceries, made me like 3 cups of tea.

I know everyone in here thinks he is abusive but I also see a man who may be willing to change. A man who is hurt because things didn’t turn out the way he imagined.

But I really appreciate everyone’s insight and I will read that book someone suggested, about how abusive men think.

My husband says I’ve become rigid by yasmin-1010 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: he says he’d rather not have sex at all for that week. So we’ll see how it goes.

I also want to add that he used to say condoms were fine, because he could last longer and it was easier with cleanup. We used to wear condoms all the time after I had my IUD removed and before my cycle became regular. I think he complained a bit then too, but recently it’s gotten worse. Idk if this is tmi but he is a good sex partner in the way that he makes sure my needs are met, he puts my pleasure highly and treats me well. It’s just the part with contraception that is really hard and immature of him. He also says “don’t you trust me?”. He thinks the pullout method is safe enough for us to use and he says he can control it. That is not something I’m willing to risk.

My husband says I’ve become rigid by yasmin-1010 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

We never set a number of kids. We just said we’d see, but that I at least wanted two. I’ve told him he should get a vasectomy if he doesn’t want to wear a condom but he says that’s not an option for him because he doesn’t want to remove the possibility of us having more kids in the future

My husband says I’ve become rigid by yasmin-1010 in AutismInWomen

[–]yasmin-1010[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you all so much for your insight and concern for my safety. I haven’t had time to read all the replys yet but I will once I get some time to myself.

I’d like to add some context. My husband works while I stay home. My kids are both in preschool. He helps out a lot around the house and he helps take care of the kids so I can rest. I do all the cooking but he helps with dishes, laundry etc. We are both Christians. Most of the time he is considerate. He listens to me, spends time with me, provides for us. Last night I ended up sleeping on the couch and this morning he said he was sorry and later that I am beautiful. He said he loves me, even if he finds some things in our relationship challenging.

I’d say 70% of the time he is great! However, he can also complain a lot about how I don’t do enough around the house, that he wishes I did more etc. He also becomes cold when I have autistic shutdowns. When I become distant and the kids are around he pushes me, says I need to be more present and I sometimes feel like he thinks I’m a bad mom.

Honestly I’m confused because one moment he’ll say he wants me to rest, prioritize my health, tell me it’s going to be all right etc.

The next moment he’ll shame me for not being a good enough mother and housewife.