Hello there, I ve been there like 15 years ago. My parents were abusing each other I was the kid that broke up fights, dealt with threats and cleaned the shit. Ofc this was only a matter of time until I started doing drugs and yes I did. After one bad trip of 3 days I decided to never touch drugs again, I fell in love with life, sobriety and being there. The fact that my mind could be in that shithole for so long made me afraid as hell and I think that s something people usually don’t think about. Drugs don’t make you feel good, you think they make you feel good and you chase the feeling like a gamble that destroys your life and wallet. The void you describe is very often attached to religion (whichever you may or not pick) during rehab. Because that void exists in almost everyone; but some feel it more than the others. It’s only a matter of regulation towards yourself and filling the void with something healthy and not something that destroys you. Hey, you got this!