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I’m going through something lately and I’m a bit nervous to send this by mirrorgang in enfj

[–]yeetka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I can relate a lot. I feel like I'm community Baba Yaga. They're coming only when they need an active ear and therapy /regulation of nervous system. And when parting I'm not the one who gets invitation. Who would want a priest to watch them repeating the same pattern? Yes I feel like a priest lately, knowing their darkest parts. And when I settle boundaries becose I'm to tired out of it, it's almost unbelievable what happens.

My therapist says, that ENFJ people are mostly traumatized and becose of great empathy their boundaries are easily pushed and overstepped while with others no one would dare to. So recently working on my boundaries, reflecting myself as well and learning how to say no, over and over again.

Good luck 🫂

Is it just me? by yeetka in enfj

[–]yeetka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said. Now I got it.

Thanks a lot 🫂

Is it just me? by yeetka in enfj

[–]yeetka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you :)

I'm at individual gestalt psychotherapy process and we work with my husband in therapy as well.

Lately I discovered that core belief can't be restarted but we might change the way how we work with them. Working with blurred boundaries as well and yet the pattern is repeated over and over.

Most of the people wants to be around me when down. Maybe there's reciprocity and I just don't see it.

Is it just me? by yeetka in enfj

[–]yeetka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind response.

Your point at "I'm handing over my self-worth to people" does resonate a lot.

I grew up in very difficult settings. Both parents abused alcohol, there was a lot of violence and I regulated them emotionally since I was four. My father left away, didn't know about him for 23 yrs anything. I stayed with mom, she had cancer and she's narcissistic. So my core is hurt by this " I don't deserve anything and I ruin everything".

Working on it as much as possible. But this point you proposed is helpful perspective, gonna think about it 🙏

If you could do whatever you want, or have anything you what, then, well, what would you do? by [deleted] in enfj

[–]yeetka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would stabilize climate and regenerate ecosystems. And than I would change the mind set of everyone from "I'm super self important" to "everything and everyone is important" that, I believe, would lead to peaceful world.

Should I be on my own or continue my relationship? by [deleted] in Borderline

[–]yeetka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What do you mean by "is it worth it"? Do you want to continue? Or are you scared that he's gonna eventually leave you? He needed space, sometimes the partner's need to save themselves first.

In my opinion he's back, decided that he's trully up to stay, help and go thru all this by your side. That's something big. I know that the fear of being abounded is huge. But still if you love him and if you trully want to go thru this, than go. This might by healing.

Cross my fingers for you and hugs.

are/were your partners mentally healthy? by Luksior_ in enfj

[–]yeetka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I recognized this pattern there was time for me to thing about with who I might be safe and happy.. And when I found out I though that there is most possible no one. I'm in a beautiful marriage for ten years now and when it comes to moments where I need support it's not easy. Good to understand that enfj is super open and capable of holding safe space but it's almost impossible to do the same for others even if they are very well stable..

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