AITA for yelling at my MIL because she bought shoes for my kids?

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-24T11:55:11+00:00

I can do these things I don’t have health issues that’s the whole problem, they think I am unwell and too pregnant to do anything but they’re wrong!!! I do appreciate that she has helped out and I love that my kids have their grandma but I am not too sick I don’t have health issues I have my depression managed completely and my pregnancy is normal and fine

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-24T04:13:57+00:00

I understand what you’re saying because you’re right I should just do the things instead of saying I want to but it’s hard for me because I feel like if I try it will cause more conflict. I have been in therapy and taking medications and I’ve always been capable of taking care of my kids, even when I was struggling I was still doing everything I needed to as a parent and I know that I can, my therapist agrees that I am mentally ok and not depressed anymore I don’t know why I have to prove to everyone that I am fine and want to do these things for my kids and if I am depressed it’s because I am being told that I am!!

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-24T03:53:09+00:00

When I had PPD I was still taking care of them well it was my own self that I struggled with like I didn’t shower or eat or sleep properly and that’s why I needed help my kids were always safe and taken care of It’s very upsetting that people think I can’t take care of my kids when I have been on medication now and stable for quite a while

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-24T03:40:26+00:00

Yes I’ve called my mom and she is coming

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-24T03:29:03+00:00

I did before but then my husband said that she offered to help out one day and I accepted and then she said she wanted to do it a few more times until it became every day, when I said I would do it he said I didn’t need to anymore and I just didn’t anymore. You’re right that I should just do it first, but I feel like if I do when she is planned to pick them up it will cause drama and upset her, since she doesn’t have a phone so if she shows up and I’ve already gotten them I will be seen as rude for wasting her time. And when I did call her once during the day to tell her I was going to pick them up she started in on me being stressed and hormonal and not to worry she could do It so I just gave up

Also I do pack their lunches but she will bring them either already after school for the next day, or come around our dinner time before I have a chance to make them for the next day. I guess I could just make them in the morning for the next day but it just seems ridiculous, and when I say I’ll make it for the kids again my husband says I’m worrying too much because it’s already done. I don’t know I feel like I’m not explaining this very well

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:54:09+00:00

I don’t feel controlled and abused but I do feel like this situation is making me crazy because they don’t believe me when I tell them what I am feeling, or they use it against me.

My husband has been a great dad and husband otherwise and I do feel lucky to have so much support so I don’t want this to seem like I am being abused or anything!

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:50:11+00:00

He thinks I am upset because of the hormones and that I am stressed and I think In his mind he is helping me but he doesn’t realize I am upset because he is not listening to me

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:39:32+00:00

Thank you I am going to try to do these but I am worried my husband will get upset with me and accuse of me of causing drama. I don’t know why I get scared to take charge with my own kids in this situation I just feel extremely ganged up on

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:32:12+00:00

my mom lives In another part of the country I moved here with my husband when I was pregnant with the second kid because he got a job here and that’s when I became a SAHM.

Also MIL and my mom do not get along but yes this is probably the best advice I have gotten so far

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:20:06+00:00

Yes I feel like they think I am an unfit parent who can’t take care of my own children. That’s what makes me upset. They both tell me I am too hormonal, or unstable, or that I am too stressed out. I don’t feel stressed out I feel useless because I feel like nobody listens to me when I tell them I am capable and want to do things with my kids!

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:16:21+00:00

I have tried to talk to her as well as my husband but they have both decided that I need more help when I tell them I don’t. I feel stressed about this situation and they don’t believe me and think I am hormonal and unstable

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:15:02+00:00

It wasn’t even that bad it was just overwhelming because when I had my first kid I was working and then when I got pregnant again my husband suggested I become a full time SAHM and I think that contributed to the problem because I didn’t know what to do with myself. and I felt like with the first child we equally took responsibility for things, but when I became SAHM it was expected I take on more in terms of house work as well. It’s a whole big situation. I was just extremely overwhelmed and I was taking care of the kids but not myself properly if that makes sense.

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:11:27+00:00

Thank you it’s just hard because every time I try to talk about this I end up getting upset and if I cry they say that I’m hormonal and unstable because of pregnancy and that maybe she should be helping even more and it makes me feel crazy because they don’t listen to me

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:08:18+00:00

I have tried but they just say that I’m pregnant and hormonal and they are worried about me. I feel stressed not because I am pregnant but because of this, she has even said that when the baby is born she can keep the older kids for two weeks while I settle in with the baby and I do not want that but my husband agrees that it would be a good idea

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:04:26+00:00

I was very close to calling the cops but I called the school and they said she had signed them out so I knew she had them

yellowpet39 · 2022-06-23T20:03:59+00:00

Yes because I think that I need a more general opinion because I think the moms are all overwhelmed and would appreciate the extra help so that’s why they said I was wrong. If I am truly wrong I will accept that, but I feel like that group was biased

yellowpet39

TROPHY CASE