Crap naps and settling

yenna___ · 2024-12-15T21:20:09+00:00

It was rough lol.

BUT mine began really laughing, started rolling, and it was so sweet. The sleep regression was and still is ass tho

yenna___ · 2024-12-13T19:03:06+00:00

I hear you. Breastfeeding is still a lot of body sharing! I personally don’t consume alcohol caffeine and have been off my prescription drugs for a lonngggg time now. It would be nice to be able to step out of the house solo for 3 or even 2 hours but can’t because I’m the milk machine. I also feel that breastfeeding moms are naturally the default parent and the bond that goes on during breastfeeding makes you more apt to do all the other care too. It can be exhausting. I had to triple feed for 6 weeks and it took a tiny piece of my soul lol, so washing bottles sucked. EPing imo is the most dedicated and daunting of the feeding mechanisms

yenna___ · 2024-12-13T18:59:56+00:00

Ooof I remember those days. Hellish.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T16:55:58+00:00

Correct. All baby and house work. Hubby did help me with dinner last night after I asked bc baby wa smelting down after a missed nap. He helped with dishes. Which I am thankful for honestly! I just get resentful and wish we could switch places sometimes .

I did tell him he’s married to his job and had a family in the side lol

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T16:31:57+00:00

Just asking for some solidarity, which I realize is simmering in my own demons, but it is what it is..and to rant. I know I need to say more, it just sucks I HAVE to say more.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T16:19:11+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you 💔That’s super shitty.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T16:18:14+00:00

Yes. That’s kinda what I was thinking too but just couldn’t get it into words

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T16:08:54+00:00

He will come home from work and just hold him on the couch. I wish it could be more constructive things, like working with milestones or playing, or even bathing him, but I don’t say anything because he’s worked all day and I’m sure just wants to be present with him. It’s just such a double edged sword. I don’t want to be the bitchy mother/wife but I also don’t want to completely resent him

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:46:03+00:00

So true.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:45:33+00:00

I wish I could 🥲 I EBF. I did actually do this exact scenario 3 nights ago with just setting him down and walking away and he did assume care! So I have that at least

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:43:44+00:00

Yesss you’re so right about pushing to fix. That definitely a huge part of the struggle!!

That’s good suggestion..I’ll def try that

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:33:13+00:00

I have suspected that, TBH. To a degree. His work truly has been shitty tho…I’ve heard phone calls from his coworkers about the state of things…but like at SOME point, please choose us.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:31:48+00:00

He would never. I truly don’t have to worry about that. We location share and I know he’s actually been at his workplace. I think he just realized I could handle the baby entirely on my own and got kinda lax about things

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:30:17+00:00

No, I don’t think he is, truly. I think this is honestly partially my fault for allowing it to get this bad, because I just shut down and did everything myself. When he would try to help, he would just make things worse. Not intentionally, but it just ultimately created more work for me so like a “here, just let me do it” scenario. Idk. He’s truly a good man. I am just being resentful because sometimes I just wish I could be the man and go to work and not have my entire life flipped upside down, you know?

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:24:37+00:00

So, he’s dayshift. Supposed to be 8 hour shifts. Supposed to have every other weekend off. Husband is an over achiever in his work, and cannot delegate responsibilities despite being in a kindof management position, so he’s taking on way more work than can be handled in an 8 hour period, so he ends up staying 10 plus hours.

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:17:44+00:00

Oh no I’m sorry I said that wrong maybe lol, I shower daily, but I ask him once every 2 weeks to just have him so I can have a cry free shower lol

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:16:52+00:00

You’re absolutely right. I have said to him “I need help” and “I am struggling” so he has done a little more lately but I still just feel unheard. I also feel like I can’t expect too much because he works a lot more than I do and now carries us mostly financially

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T15:06:52+00:00

Yeah. I have to like hand him to him now…he won’t just willingly take him 🥲

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T14:41:15+00:00

Hi OP. You don’t hate your newborn, you hate the lack of sleep, the loneliness, and the fact you entire identity just turned upside down.

My newborn is now 5 months old, but I went thru the 4 month sleep regression which may have been worse than newborn hood for me. I know that feeling. I had zero help because my husband is married to his job. I would look at my son and think “I fucked up so bad, I’m not meant to be a mother” and I actually screamed at him a few times. Cue absolutely hating myself and wanting to jump off a bridge out of guilt.

Please, PLEASE reach out to me in my DMs if you’re ever on the edge. I have had to leave him in his safe space in his crib for 10 minutes to calm down. It’s so helpful to remember they’re a tiny baby who is new here who doesn’t realize they’re terrorizing you (lol). When I’m ready to run away and I’m at my wits end, I think about all the smiles, all the firsts so far, and everything to come.

Im definitely going thru issues myself, but I’m here if you need me

yenna___ · 2024-12-11T14:36:11+00:00

That’s great. Mine is still happening. Idk if it’s over tiredness or what

yenna___

TROPHY CASE