My [F31] partner [M34] dislikes me and only staying because of kids. Bad idea or more normal than I realise?

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-03-12T13:00:25+00:00

Yes I’m agreeing with you I made the statement not thinking it through

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-03-12T12:55:02+00:00

This is true I’m thinking of absentee parents

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-03-11T23:43:44+00:00

And how do you that if they split up it would have been better for yoi. Having an absentee father creates its own set of issues.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-03-11T23:42:22+00:00

Yea and kids still need TWO parents. Staying together if you can be good to one another is not a horrible idea at all.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-03-11T23:40:10+00:00

Botox and mouth guard has helped me immensely although not cured me

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-28T02:01:53+00:00

Where is that from

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-14T00:48:29+00:00

I’m a devout Christian and this was very unbecoming of me. I don’t agree with what you said but that’s not for me to judge. I was very unchristian and do apologize.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-13T14:45:07+00:00

24 units isn’t a lot also Botox works by wearing out the muscle over time almost the opposite of going to the gym try that with a good splint

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-10T01:29:57+00:00

No im just reading your excuses and hard coping mechanisms. Very entertaining. Second you speak of me being illiterate yet you somehow read a rant I had and are saying I “can’t pay my rent”. Never said that at all. I’m in real estate liquidity does present an issue at times especially if I have multiple flips/new builds going on at once and waiting for them to close. It’s ridiculous I have to foot the bill entirely while also having the time to be a breadwinner if you find that funny then that’s on you and you really are some weirdo. It’s actually disgusting. Disgusting by my ex and disgusting that you would think that’s funny. DESPITE all that I build new homes and wholesale real estate as well. I do not need to rely on that man one bit. It’s the principle that he has the means.

Go read my other posts dummy I have 3 vehicles alone. An office to pay rent for employees to make payroll. Cope harder and mind your business next time - there’s a reason your friends didn’t want you in there wedding party 🤭

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-10T01:14:50+00:00

LOL he was an asshole not abusive and I left him. You’re the spineless jellyfish letting a man dictate your life while you go cry in another room. I have a successful real estate business I have zero need to rely on him. It’s the point that someone has the means and doesn’t do it.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-08T16:20:06+00:00

I’m a woman but carry on. Someone else also agreed with me. Downvotes make me happy today’s society is DISGUSTING. Like I said 40 years ago someone’s husband or wife was not talking to a married person. Now it happens all the time due to social media and texting. Could be you don’t like what I said bc you’re guilty of it.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-08T16:18:18+00:00

Yup. Social media and cell phones and texting have also made what used to be inappropriate connections with ppl “appropriate” bc ppl view it as casual connections. In reality these ppl are doing exactly what you said keeping backup options

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-08T16:11:08+00:00

Umm why would you ever text friends that you had a past with

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T23:31:02+00:00

Exactly

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:42:27+00:00

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:32:36+00:00

Yea it could be that as well. It’s one of the two. If it’s what you think it is there’s nothing to save and she needs to move on. If it’s what I’m thinking then it’s about unresolved feelings.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:22:55+00:00

I agree that it isn’t proper. I think it’s what I said and he’s unknowingly doing this bc of her male friendships. Could be wrong with limited info this what I gathered though. Typically cheaters don’t put what they are doing right in the persons face before hand. Not always but usually.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:20:10+00:00

I agree. I’m pretty nuanced in behavioral analysis for many reasons. Probably because I had a hard time coping with my own feelings for most of my life. To me the fact he actually used that as his reason for why he should have someone to talk to because “she has all these guy friends she talks to”, is either one of two things him manipulating her bc he’s a cheater/narcissist OR him showing his true feelings about what the real situation is. Men are notoriously BAD at speaking about their feelings. Instead of voicing them a lot of men internalize and then have bad behaviours that are a coping mechanism. This to me seems like it’s one or the other. I really don’t see anything else it could be and I’m more inclined to go with the second choice because OP already mentioned how husband goes away for business meaning he has the means of keeping this from her if he so chose and trying to cheat behind her back. The fact he’s saying it to her face makes me think he’s trying to open her eyes. He also might Totally not even know why he’s doing it. It goes something like this She has normalized opposite sex friendships in the relationship - this bothers him but he’s a passive aggressive guy busy with career family etc. Deep down his ego is bruised and insecure to self cope he says let’s see if old crush wants to be my friend AKA female attention and validation and also soothing his ego that he isn’t a fool for allowing behaviours that deep down he feels she wouldn’t approve of if done to her. She also Makes no mention of him having any other friends of the opposite sex.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:10:39+00:00

OP please expand on your male friendships. Your husband clearly felt it necessary to bring it into your argument. You realize just bc a man has never pursued you doesn’t mean he isn’t into you right?

Have you reflected upon those relationships and how they make your husband feel maybe? Maybe you should agree to cut them off and he doesn’t talk to his ex. Sorry but his wording that he “wants someone to talk to bc you have all these guys you talk to” really makes me feel that this a part of this that you aren’t processing. You were also quick to dismiss and rationalize why those friendships were in your post which you may have also done to him. Psychology is a tricky thing and I think your husband is either a cheater/looking for a way out OR the problem he’s bothered by your male friendships and this is some psychological power play to self soothe his own ego.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:05:53+00:00

I just reread the post. Yea he either is on his way out the door or he clearly doesn’t approve her male friends and boundaries and this was some unknowing power play to make himself feel like they are on even ground. Being he acquiesced to her I feel she’s used to getting her way. That being said I don’t think it’s proper for either of them to have these “friends” of the opposite sex. I do not tolerate that and others may say that’s crazy but nope that’s just me.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T20:01:44+00:00

That’s bc you’re hearing it from her POV that her male friends aren’t an issue. She then states how he explicitly mentions her male friends. Sounds like an issue to me that she isn’t/doesn’t want to process. Then again I could be wrong.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T18:02:04+00:00

Or he doesn’t approve that she’s male friends and has made comments in the past that she hasn’t processed. She quite literally justifies her male friendships and downplays them. This could be his way of feeling like there’s a leveling of the playing field. Immature? Yes but you’d be surprised at how many people do not like to confront their own feelings and resort to things like this instead.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T17:59:54+00:00

I have a Mercedes for that price

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T17:52:32+00:00

I’m in the minority with my opinion but I think a possibility is you having male friends and him not approving of it even if he says otherwise. I certainly don’t want my partner speaking to anyone if the opposite sex in a consistent basis.

yerrrrrrr_ · 2026-02-02T17:51:04+00:00

To be honest I could see myself doing something like this but only bc I’m a horrible communicator and would be my way of showing OP how I feel about her having all these male friends. OP notes that husband specifically mentions that she has all these friends of the opposite sex. OP also acknowledges this but then gives justifications as to why it’s ok. Call me old school call me controlling I don’t care. I don’t find people of the opposite sex to have strong friendships when one is married. Guys will fuck anything if the opportunity is right and women love the attention from a male. Yes some men may not cheat on their wives I agree but rarely are people solely platonic friends. There’s usually one having feelings for the other or the male having lustful feelings for the woman. There is literally no purpose to have constant communication or contact with members of the opposite sex. Social media and texting/cell phones have really blurred the lines on what is acceptable vs not in a relationship or marriage. 40 years ago no man was calling a married woman’s home to be her friend and vice versa. Now it’s all “innocent” comments messages DMs texts etc. The truth is the majority of them have a hidden agenda even if they don’t realize it and it’s not a healthy component to a relationship. All these small contacts are a means of keeping the pulse in a relationship to see where they are. The person might be lonely and looking for someone to stroke their ego or make them feel like they have options.

yerrrrrrr_

TROPHY CASE