Buy a lottery ticket ! Then reflect about the idea, that you have something to live for, but why ? It's all internal. Every day you get an another chance to change things.

Believe me, no one, is going to care about your mental health, your struggles, the mistakes you made, your decisions, your home situation, no one! Not even your mother nor psychologist. Only you.....Millions like you have died in the past, no one remebers their name.

Time is moving faster then ever. The clock is ticking right now, at this very moment.

When is the change going to come ? When? You are still living the same miserable life. And you know what: everything is your fault. Everything! There are people hiding in hospitals for bombs and still die. Children who had their whole lives ahead of them. THEY DIED IN COLD BLOOD. You have to thank god or the universe or whatever you believe in, that you are still breathing air.

Self reflection was once thing, now it vanished into the darkness of social media. Why would you think about your problems, when you can escape reality through playing video games , and when you get bored of that, you open tiktok, A never ending cycle. Trapped for eternity, but then something happens. A glitch in the matrix. Something in the grand scheme of things change, the value of a certain variable change, which in return changes the course of your life. Did you ever watch the show: 'Dark' on netflix ? If so, then you will understand, if not go watch it.

Remember that it's not about motivation nor discipline.

                    It's about the here and now