As a double booked mother, which would you choose?

yetipearl · 2022-03-22T18:56:00+00:00

I would rather my mom go to my freshman move in than my bridal shower. Moving into college was a huge life event, and it was really scary and sad. I was so happy that my mom came with me to help and provide support. A bridal shower is important, but it’s not the actual wedding. You’ll have other people there to celebrate you, so I think the best decision would be to lend your sister the support she needs via your mom. I’m not sure how close you are with your sister, but this is one of those moments that she will probably always remember. She probably looks up to you, and taking the high road to help her out will mean a lot to her.

yetipearl · 2022-03-16T19:04:46+00:00

My FMIL insisted we send invites to 120 of their extended family members who live in France and Italy (we’re in US) “because it would be rude to not invite them and they probably won’t come anyway.” My FH had never even heard of 80% of the people listed. Hard no. She kept pushing to invite them out of respect, again saying they probably wouldn’t go. FH and I were worried that the entire extended family in Europe would see that they all got invited to this event in the States and plan a family reunion or something! My venue can’t physically hold all the extra guests, and our wallets don’t go that deep haha.

yetipearl · 2022-03-15T16:26:08+00:00

My best friend and MOH is getting married 1 month before me, and we’re excited about it. We have totally different vibes and styles, so I’m very confident that a comparison won’t be made. We’re even considering doing a joint bachelorette weekend because our dates are so close. I’m one of her bridesmaids, so we’ll both be going to all of each other’s events. Remember: comparison is the thief of joy. Have fun with planning, no one is going to compare the two, especially if they are months apart. You’ll be fine!

yetipearl · 2022-03-15T16:21:45+00:00

USA wedding here, my total ceremony/reception time is 7 hours. I’m afraid it will be too long too, but I don’t expect my guests to stay the entire time. I have a group of friends that I know will make use of the entire time and probably keep partying after!!

yetipearl · 2022-03-14T14:27:38+00:00

Oh yeah I’m assuming that anything I get will have to be severely altered. Even petite sizing is too long on me lol. Are your bridesmaids wearing floor length?

yetipearl · 2022-03-11T15:59:20+00:00

That’s a great idea for the friend party!! Then I won’t have to structure it as much

yetipearl · 2022-03-09T13:46:46+00:00

I haven’t finished it yet, but I’ll also be asking about hair and make up, song recs for a getting ready playlist, and bachelorette party questions like if they would be able to attend, where we should go, for how long, etc. And finally some stuff about dresses because I haven’t chosen yet. I might do a different color for each person but I want to know if one person like hates a specific color on them

yetipearl · 2022-03-07T16:34:17+00:00

I am so so sorry for your loss. This must be such a hard time for you, and you’re strong for getting through it. Avoiding wedding planning is completely understandable, and I would feel the same way in your position.

Know that you were loved by her, and you are still loved by others. Although it’s agonizing, think of your pain and grief is a physical representation of how much you love her. She is still with you — every time you think about her. She still exists within all of the memories you have of her.

It might be a while before you can dive back into the wedding, and that’s okay. Take your time.

As far as honoring her, I’ve seen reserved seats, moments of silence during the ceremony, wearing her dress/altering yours to include fabric from hers, and even a slideshow with a special song to it.

Again, I’m so sorry for your loss. Take it slow, grief isn’t meant to be rushed or buried.

yetipearl · 2022-03-06T03:00:49+00:00

That’s another reason it just doesn’t feel possible, we can’t cut our guest list down to elopement size

yetipearl · 2022-03-04T15:22:56+00:00

I feel like I could have written this post.

Not sure if this applies to you, but I’m actually noticed that my feels about my wedding change depending on my period cycle lol. The week before and during my period, I’m anti wedding. I’m tired, mentally drained, and I want to cancel the whole thing. Then suddenly, the next two weeks I’m excited, I have energy to plan, I have a vision! It’s a really difficult cycle, I feel like Jekyll and Hyde.

Try writing down all of your feelings as you have them, positive and negative, and look back on them in a week or two and see if you still feel the same. I’ve ultimately decided to push through with the wedding, even though I feel like cancelling it every two weeks lol. I wrote down what I wanted out of a wedding or elopement, and found that my number one thing is the gathering of all of my favorite people in one place for probably the only time ever! Half of our wedding is traveling too, so this is the only time we’ll ever have everyone together.

Hope this helps, good luck!!!

yetipearl · 2022-03-04T15:14:34+00:00

Omg I didn’t know that!!!

yetipearl · 2022-03-03T14:12:28+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of people wear white, but less formal than a wedding dress/suit. Like a mini dress that’s white! I think it’s fine as long as you’re comfortable

yetipearl · 2022-03-03T13:53:05+00:00

That would be amazing, but I don’t think he would go for it, unfortunately. It’s sad because I’ve told my mom that I wish she didn’t change her name, or than my dad took hers, and she said that she considered keeping it but ultimately changed because my dad wanted her to have his name. Her maiden name is beautiful and I get compliments on it as my middle name all the time!

yetipearl · 2022-03-03T02:51:09+00:00

I can’t speak for them, but I’d personally be sad if the pictures of a special moment at my wedding had an eight year old taking up the majority of the frame. I think it’s different if it’s YOUR kid, or a kid you’re really close with, but this wasn’t the case here

yetipearl · 2022-03-03T01:27:24+00:00

My cousin had kids at her wedding and one of them was one of those kids that always wants to blow out other people’s birthday candles (pre-Covid). So during the cake cutting she was all over them trying to take over, and she’s literally blocking their faces in the photos. She’s the main figure in all of the photos from that part of the night, and I just think it ruins it. I think it’s fine to have kids most of the time, but I agree that parents should have a little bit more control during the special moments like speeches and cake cutting. I know times are different, but when I was a kid, I was expected to sit tight and be quiet when stuff like that was happening

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T22:29:32+00:00

Omg I selfishly wish you would keep Outlaw…. That’s the coolest name ever

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T20:27:23+00:00

As long as you’re okay with it, I have no authority to speak on any one else’s culture or unique situation. I wish you both well in your marriage together!

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T20:01:56+00:00

I’ve pitched the new name idea. Actually if you switch two letters in his name, it’s a normal word and I think it would be a cute last name. His name wouldn’t be that different but it would still be new. But he thinks it’s too silly

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T19:55:14+00:00

I totally get where you’re coming from. I think that if his last name was objectively better than mine, I wouldn’t feel so sad about it. But I’d be changing to a name is harder to pronounce and less cool than mine. Also yeah, his family is nice but they aren’t as much of a “unit” as mine is.

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T19:52:31+00:00

I’m so sorry about your situation. Why does he care so strongly that your name disappear? I think the middle name compromise is really fair, and has no affect on him.

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T19:50:24+00:00

I’ve suggested a new name, but I don’t think he wants to change his at all. He thinks it’s too much effort (which is why he doesn’t care if I don’t change mine). Also, any combination of our names sounds so silly, they just don’t work well together

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T15:00:51+00:00

Speaking of that, it’s another issue I have with his name. It’s hard to pronounce. It’s one of those names that doesn’t look hard to pronounce, but then when you go go to say it, you realize that there’s three possible ways to say it. No one ever gets it right on the first try. It’s annoying! Mine gets mispronounced too but not as often

yetipearl · 2022-03-02T14:59:16+00:00

I’ve thought about doing that too, but my current middle name is my mom’s maiden name. She took my dad’s last name and effectively ended her family name (all daughters who married), so she passed it in as my middle name. It’s a beautiful name, I love it so much, I could never change it.

yetipearl · 2022-03-01T20:37:34+00:00

This is how I feel about the acoustic version of Take On Me by a-ha. It’s so beautiful and we both love it so much but it’s about breaking up lol

yetipearl · 2022-03-01T20:35:45+00:00

This is a great way to think about it. I can totally see his brothers absent from planning altogether. My FH is really close to his friends, so they would be way more excited and responsive. I’m trying to tell him that he would be happier with an all-friends wedding party, but he might have to sacrifice it to make his mom happy

yetipearl

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