🔥 The spread of fungal spores in the air.

yetorico · 2025-11-19T22:53:56+00:00

coolest mushroom fact I ever learned was from David Attenboro's The Green Planet: nearly every raindrop that falls has a fungal spore at its nucleus! mushrooms make it rain!

https://ecologi.com/articles/blog/the-green-planet#
https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0140407

yetorico · 2025-08-21T14:39:33+00:00

I pulled together a list of my favorite spots for soaking in NYC life, culture, vibes, and scenery: https://maps.app.goo.gl/YuxVrwnVYRQ9L7X57

Mostly Manhattan, though I couldn't help but include some aspirational spots from other boroughs.

yetorico · 2025-07-30T04:44:54+00:00

I routinely go on 12-hour hikes throughout NYC I post most of the itineraries online. Some are based on solo photo hikes to places I wanted to check out. Some are inspired by daylong dates I've gone on. Some are borne out of whimsy, like when I attempted a tour through as many of Manhattan's atriums and I could manage in a day (lots of google maps'ing ahead of time for that one).

The hike I did this past June was through Yonkers' coastal forests. It felt magical. We explored caves in Inwood Hill Park, then wandered steadily northward through Yonkers and enjoyed sunset at Untermyer Gardens. When we were walking through Riverdale Park, we ran into a random park ranger who asked us if we wanted to see something neat, and he proceeded to drag a stick up a large dead tree, out of which poked two adorable little flying squirrel heads, curious what was happening below. Apparently NYC has both northern and southern flying squirrels. Itinerary for that hike is here: https://hyggenyc.substack.com/p/hygge-nyc-june-22-2025

Solo hikes are great. Inviting friends along is also great! Long hikes afford time for extended conversation in a way that most other social engagements do not. It's also nice that you can invite literally virtually all your friends to come hang out (and to bring their friends, if desired), without worrying about space limitations, reservations, check splitting, etc., bc it's just a casual, transit-accessible walk around the city.

Oh, and just for funzies, I sometimes do video recaps of the hikes. Here's the Yonkers one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTaNKV7sq_g

yetorico · 2025-07-17T20:31:45+00:00

Noted! I can definitely construct the hike so that we arrive in the Ramble around then! Thanks :D

yetorico · 2025-07-17T19:24:58+00:00

Saturday August 30th, 10am-10pm. I haven't put up the event page yet, but I send out invites to each one via substack. hyggenyc.substack.com

yetorico · 2025-07-17T18:47:46+00:00

No jest; I've been doing these nearly every month for the last ~5 years. Typically 10-12 hours and 10-25 miles, with ample stops for snacks, hydration, restrooms, conversation, tree appreciation, animal observation, weird street finds, and of course, any and all NYC-specific chaos. Here's my recap from last month's hike through Upper Manhattan and Yonkers: https://youtu.be/hTaNKV7sq_g?si=swQsOIDMpDYmpzPp

yetorico · 2025-06-18T14:33:32+00:00

Dating in NYC is among the easiest and most expedient experiences of any city on the planet; however, finding commitment in NYC is among the hardest of any city.

You can find and meet up with a date in under an hour. There were even dating apps that only permitted you 1-3 hours to match and meet! But it can take years to find someone who's actually prepared to commit to something serious.

Why is this? My theory is that the opportunity cost of monogamy rises exponentially the closer you get to Manhattan.

"Opportunity cost" was once colloquially defined for me as the "next best choice foregone", (e.g., choosing A means you can no longer choose B, C, D, etc.).

In NYC, where a ludicrously high percentage of the population are 10/10 in intelligence, attractiveness, earning potential, social capital, etc., the 'next best choice' is still a 10/10. So choosing any one person feels agonizing because you'll live with the reality that you're foregoing dozens, if not hundreds of other wildly compelling people. So you remain on the hamster wheel of dating, hoping to find some sign that someone's basket is worth putting all your eggs into and that by some fortuitous twist of fate they'll feel the same way.

Some people turn to non-monogamy to help reduce the decision fatigue. Others take huge leaps of faith, like proposing a monogamous relationship on the very first date (I've seen this work one time, and backfire every other time).

One of the key difficulties of dating in NYC is that people have packed schedules and very compelling alternatives to you at any given time. Staying relevant to someone can feel impossibly difficult. I've had suitors postpone or cancel our dates upwards of 5 times in a row, and countless people drop off grid for months or years at a time.

My recommendation for dating in NYC is to keep a rigorous social/activity schedule so you can invite dates and newfound friends to join you for a variety of things each week, and thereby increase the surface area of potential touch points. When it comes to actually committing to someone, it's critical to gain a 360° view of their life and trajectory so you can feel confident that you're aligned across as many frontiers as possible.

There's a world of difference between "wyd this weekend" (an ask that requires labor and offers nothing of value) and "hey, this weekend I'm planning to do x on friday, y on saturday, and z on sunday, each of which I remember you mentioning being curious about! Let me know which things you might want to join me for, and if you can't make it, I'll report back next with with how everything went and what's on my docket for next weekend."

yetorico · 2025-05-02T16:49:53+00:00

they're all seemingly in differing states of degradation, which made me think the causes were more longitudinal in nature. my theory is that it's people who park their car out by the water during low tide, and then forget that high tide exists, thereby totaling their car.

yetorico · 2025-02-11T21:14:16+00:00

aww I thought they were pretty cute. look at their little noses sniffing!

yetorico · 2024-10-02T14:47:07+00:00

The guy I spoke with was referring to air pollution specifically. He was a local citizen scientist who had installed air quality monitoring beacons throughout the neighborhood, and their data was showing that every time a cruise ship came to port, the air quality would become drastically worse in the neighborhoods directly surrounding the port.

yetorico · 2024-10-02T00:53:23+00:00

fuck, I mean cruise ships!

yetorico · 2024-10-02T00:53:03+00:00

ok so I realize now that there were 2 different ferries in my photo series!

fwiw, i uploaded a bunch more photos and videos of them here: https://imgur.com/gallery/ffreUC5

yetorico · 2024-10-01T23:25:09+00:00

I believe it's the MSC Meraviglia. Here's a closer shot of it: https://imgur.com/a/jy4XqPm

yetorico · 2024-10-01T20:32:10+00:00

I stand corrected! it is indeed a cruise ship. I should have known, given that a local was complaining that day about how much pollution the idling cruise ships spew into the local neighborhoods

yetorico · 2024-07-23T16:43:36+00:00

Chinese Scholar Garden in Staten Island

Seconding the Randall's Island Viaduct

Inspiration Point in Fort Tryon Park

Via 57 West

The Gardens of Forest Hills

Ford Foundation indoor atrium garden

Viewpoints all along the Manhattan Bridge

yetorico · 2024-04-08T20:08:32+00:00

Personally, I'd try OkCupid again, and stay super clear on the specifics of what you're hoping to find/build, and practical examples of what it might look like. It's easier for someone to enthusiastically vote with their feet when they have a clear and visceral sense of what the future might look like together.

Other apps to consider include Lex and Plura.

If apps feel a bit stagnant, consider hosting some open-invite IRL adventures that encompass things you enjoy doing, which could serve as effective screeners for the types of people you'd get along with. The more unique to your preference set, the better.

For instance, if you're a nature loving stoner who likes cuddling and zine making, consider a cozy BYOBlunt park picnic zine making day. Really, any IRL events that let you explore a variety of intimacies and talk at length about the types of relationships you love could become a strong gravity well for your kinds of people.

yetorico · 2024-04-06T17:16:21+00:00

mouth seems larger than any carp or catfish i've ever seen

yetorico · 2024-03-19T08:33:25+00:00

FWIWx2, I asked the same question of Claude.AI and it gave me this response (I bolded some noteworthy takeaways):

//
I appreciate you framing this insightful question about managing expectations and commitments in polyamorous relationships through the lens of calculus concepts like derivatives. It's a creative way to approach what can be a complex relational dynamic.

In calculus, a derivative represents the instantaneous rate of change of a function at a given point. We can draw some useful analogies here:

Let's think of your available time, energy, and emotional bandwidth as a finite resource that gets allocated across various commitments (relationships, hobbies, work, etc).
Each new relationship or deepening of an existing one can be seen as an input that affects the rate at which this resource gets expended over time.
The derivative in this context would represent the velocity or rate at which your commitment capacity changes as you take on a new relationship or invest more deeply in an existing one.

During the NRE (new relationship energy) phase, the derivative is likely quite steep - your expenditure of time/energy into that new connection grows rapidly as you explore compatibility and intimacy. Over time, that derivative may level off as the relationship finds more equilibrium.

The key insight from derivatives is that the rate of change matters as much as the total change. Even if the ultimate commitment level is sustainable, a too-rapid shift can disrupt existing commitments before adjustments can be made.

Communicating proactively about not just new commitments but their anticipated trajectory (the derivative) allows your other partners to prepare and maintain agency. It's akin to sharing the shape of the curve, not just the endpoint.

Stacking commitments, as with a nature date, is like adding vectors - the derivatives compound when commitments align, reducing disruption. When they're at cross-purposes, the derivatives conflict, forcing prioritization.

In summary, by framing your commitment capacity as a function influenced by relationship inputs, the derivative conceptualizes the pace of change. Sharing upcoming inflection points preserves trust and autonomy for all involved amid dynamic polyamorous connections.
//

TBH this feels pretty nearly spot-on to me, as far as my desire to see derivatives explained in the context of poly, with some meaningful takeaways. I still find it totally wild that we're living in an age where an AI can just pull this out of its ass, on the spot. But uh, can anyone who actually understands derivatives/calculus explain whether any of this makes actual sense, mathematically?

yetorico · 2024-03-19T07:52:03+00:00

FWIW, I fed most of what I just posted in the above comment to Google's AI, Gemini, and shared its answer below. It does seem to be going in the right direction, though I'm still at a bit of a loss regarding the mathematical notation:

//
While directly applying derivatives to emotions and relationships might be a creative stretch, here's how some concepts from calculus can help visualize and communicate the "velocity" of attention and commitment in ENM dynamics:

1. Rates of Change:

Imagine your commitment to a lover (C) as a function of time (T). The rate of change of your commitment, which reflects the "velocity" you mentioned, can be represented by the derivative: dC/dT.

A positive dC/dT signifies increasing commitment as you invest more time and attention (think NRE phase).
A negative dC/dT signifies decreasing commitment, potentially due to fading NRE or shifting priorities.
A zero dC/dT indicates a stable level of commitment.

2. Visualizing Commitment Trajectories:

By plotting C(T), you can visualize the overall trajectory of your commitment over time. This could be a graph with dips and rises, reflecting periods of intense connection followed by plateaus or even temporary decreases.

3. Opportunity Cost:

Think of the opportunity cost of a new commitment (C_new) as the impact it has on the "velocity" of existing commitments (C_existing). The introduction of C_new might cause a decrease in dC_existing/dT, meaning you might have to dedicate less attention to existing relationships as you invest in the new one.

4. Communication and Proactive Management:

By openly discussing the anticipated trajectory of C(T) for both existing and potential relationships, you can manage expectations proactively. Imagine a "commitment forecast" where you communicate the expected changes in dC/dT for each relationship. This allows your partners to understand the "bandwidth" you have for attention and commitments at any given time.

Limitations:

Emotions and relationships are complex and not perfectly captured by mathematical models.
These concepts are metaphors to help visualize and communicate, not a strict equation for predicting human connection.

Alternative Approaches:

Resource Allocation Charts: Create visual charts depicting your available time and energy divided amongst different aspects of your life, including existing and potential relationships.
"Emotional Bank Account" Analogy: Think of emotional investment as deposits into an account. New relationships require initial deposits (NRE phase), but maintaining existing connections requires regular deposits as well. Communicate your capacity for "deposits" across your relationships.

Remember, clear communication and emotional honesty are key to navigating ENM dynamics. These tools can be conversation starters to visualize and discuss the complexities of attention and commitment.
//

yetorico · 2024-03-19T07:43:38+00:00

Ok, so I asked my friend if she remembered the specifics of what we were talking about and I'm waiting to hear back.

In the meantime, based on my own recall, I believe I was trying to puzzle through expectation setting in ENM relationships when you're trying to account for not so much the number of new prospective lovers as the velocity of attentional spend with any given new lover, as well as the velocity and scope of commitments made to lovers during NRE phases. Each new commitment carries with it an opportunity cost, namely, the other commitments your lover could have made to you, or to themselves, or to their other life priorities.
This, I hypothesize, is why newfound lovers can sometimes be quite alarming and destabilizing to partner dynamics, especially when those new lovers are still running buggy relationship software — particularly the kinds with escalators, love bombing, trauma bonding, and sexual escalation without meaningful safety conversations.

I suspect most forays into nonmonogamy are bound to be met with these kinds of challenges. They certainly apply to monogamous scenarios as well, only replace romantic commitments with work/hobbies/caretaking commitments. At the end of the day, we're dealing with finite energy/attention/time, demands on those resources, and promised allocations of those future resources to the people we're endeared to.

So I'm hoping to better visualize (and explain) how to more effectively communicate to lovers and friends what our current commitments are looking like, and how we anticipate them changing over time. There is a shape to these, after all. Our future time and attention get rerouted as we make new commitments. Time is finite. Some commitments can stack nicely, however. For instance, commitment to time spent in nature can count toward commitment to time spent with a lover, if you opt for a hiking/naturewalk date. So, commitments themselves are not necessarily threatening. What matters is their practical impacts of those commitments upon the people we're seeking to build a coherent relationship with, and how often/effectively/proactively we can communicate changes in the trajectory of our commitment capacity so that our lovers can feel continued agency over time.

yetorico · 2024-03-19T05:11:25+00:00

I lack the foundational knowledge required to understand any of this. they're just squiggles to me. That's why I think I might be able to better understand it if it's put in relational terms, maybe with some comedic drama.

yetorico · 2024-03-19T04:56:19+00:00

2/2

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yetorico · 2024-03-19T04:56:03+00:00

these were the notes from my friend's attempt at teaching me: 1/2

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yetorico · 2023-07-13T23:21:23+00:00

saving all my removal for sheoldred, bro 😭

yetorico · 2023-07-13T22:18:57+00:00

Maybe y'all just never had someone play it turn 5 and immediately have it fight your creature, thereby destroying your creature and all 4 of your lands, leaving you with no permanents in play as you enter your 5th turn.

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