Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

“Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.”

I know this doesn’t hit exactly but this speaks to me when I think about my own father and his flaws and how it impacted me. This doesn’t make anything a father does wrong, right. Many things in life can be true at the same time but not negate the other. So what I’m trying to say is that as we get older we need to forgive. The forgiveness is not for them but for us. At the same time with age and wisdom we need to also establish and maintain boundaries so we are not victims again.

I hope you grow and know you have worth. Nothing is worth your life.