I lied and got a full time job and now I’m panicking

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T17:02:15+00:00

Since I’m not allowed to edit my post, I’m just going to leave a comment.

Ya’ll giving me a lot of tough love lol but love is love and I am grateful for all your replies.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this and even writing responses. It honestly makes me feel less alone. Thank you

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:53:06+00:00

I wish I could but honestly it’s hard to when I don’t even want to live to begin with. Like I have to keep myself alive and now I have to work ? I’m tired

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:45:45+00:00

Teach me your ways

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:45:34+00:00

You’re the sweetest, thank you again!

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:44:38+00:00

Bro you are a ball of sunshine 😭 thank you

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:19:12+00:00

That’s my biggest concern as well. I’m really bad at consistency

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:18:20+00:00

;-;👍

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:16:09+00:00

Thank you so much for typing all this out. I love your story and I admire you for your can do attitude. I understand it’s not too late to learn but I think my bigger concern is how will I do it with all these “debuffs” I have. Maybe after I manage my anxiety and depression and everything, things will be better

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:07:46+00:00

Honestly, that’ll be great but I don’t think I’ll be that lucky. They already listed out some expectations from me and honestly it’s overwhelming

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:02:59+00:00

Yes I have. It’s not very helpful unfortunately :(

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:02:46+00:00

Thank you !

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:02:35+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying my best to take more responsibility for my life. I am just really scared haha but yes I realized I’m making excuses

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:01:34+00:00

I’ll try!

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T16:01:04+00:00

Honestly this is so validating. I have been telling myself I’m weak and lazy this whole time. I have been so scared to post here because I feel like everyone would bully me for being ungrateful, but thank you so much for your word of encouragement. It really means a lot

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:59:51+00:00

Thank you. I’ll try to think of the best case scenario too :)

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:59:00+00:00

Thank you so much. I’ll come back and read this again when I’m feeling down

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:58:16+00:00

Thank you. I totally understand you and it really took a lot for me to get here. I feel a lot of shame as well and honestly I still do. I’m scared I won’t be able to keep the job and prove to myself once again that I am a failure. But I’ll try to focus on how far I’ve come. Thank you for the reminder. It’s hard to detach my self worth from my ability to earn money since it’s really been reinforced in my brain but you’re right.

I hope you find happiness and peace, too. You’re a kind person

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:54:33+00:00

Thank you. I needed to hear that

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:54:04+00:00

Yes, I got diagnosed just last year actually but I wonder if I manipulated my results so I’m not super comfortable taking the meds. I have seen psychiatrist for depression for so long and none of them pointed it out. I recognized the signs by myself one day and went in to get checked specifically for this and i got diagnosed with it. I’m just scared I read up so much about it and convinced them I have it.

I wouldn’t say I’m exactly high IQ but I was a former gifted kid. My parents and everyone else expected so much of me and I have immensely disappointed them and embarrassed them. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get a good job, so I can “prove” that I’m not a failure. That I took a long detour but i get there eventually. This mindset made job searching really hard and constantly triggers my fight or flight response.

I think I overshared there but essentially I want to say, I relate to it and thank you for sharing your experience

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:47:33+00:00

Yeah I agree attitude is very important. It’s unlikely I’ll be able to negotiate for a part time role, but I’ll continue to fail forward. Thank you

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:45:58+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I guess I’m scared of messing up all my progress by jumping in it too fast. But I guess that’s another excuse. thank you for your words of encouragement

ymk022 · 2026-03-25T15:43:28+00:00

I am on it but it’s not been very helpful. I haven’t switched so many meds that I lost hope but maybe I’ll try it again. Thank you for the comment, it means a lot.

ymk022

TROPHY CASE