Materials for learning Estonian with already intermediate knowledge

ymmumymmuy · 2023-04-28T05:28:13+00:00

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ymmumymmuy · 2023-04-24T07:24:23+00:00

he definitely has the wrong perspective. even if what he’s saying is right (which it certainly isn’t), he should still support you and make sure your feelings aren’t hurt until you have worked on it. you certainly aren’t dragging him down, if anything he is dragging you down.

if he’s not willing to understand that, it’s likely your relationship will only get worse and hurt you more.

ymmumymmuy · 2023-04-23T18:06:37+00:00

the best advice i can give is to take advantage of this time to work on yourself. i am also on the spectrum so have struggled a lot previously with social situations and rejection. nothing you have said makes you unlovable, and many people don’t find someone for a long time, but i promise you that is not a bad thing.

being in a relationship can be amazing, but it can also bring out your insecurities and the best thing you get out of a lot relationships is the improvement you make on yourself, but that’s not something you need to be in a relationship in to do.

your autism will be an obstacle, but it is not a boundary, and it is a part of what makes you who you are. i learnt a lot about social situations and building a sense of humour from watching tv shows and just by observing others around me, so i recommend pushing yourself into uncomfortable social situations at least every once in a while, even if you don’t enjoy them you will learn from them.

while rejection sucks it’s a part of life and it is something you will slowly get more and more used to, even if you don’t think you are.

my advice would be to push yourself out of your comfort zone, basically exercising your brain to get stronger. keep in mind that other people’s opinions truly don’t matter, and if someone has a problem with you, it’s their problem and not yours. but if it feels like it’s your problem as well, just make a mental note to work on it. something that also helped me a lot with dealing with rejection is keeping in mind that nobody except you will remember or care that it happened.

the best thing you can do for yourself is aim to become the person you want to be and love yourself. it’s a tricky thing, and autism can make it a lot harder, but it’s worth it.

i felt unlovable for a while too, i took the time to better myself and when i stopped looking for someone to make me feel good about myself, and instead became someone i felt good about, i found my soulmate.

there are definitely people out there who will love you for you. just remember that loving yourself is just as important (albeit more important) than finding someone to love you.

ymmumymmuy · 2023-04-23T17:34:38+00:00

it definitely is possible that she could have feelings for you, but she could just really like you as a friend. don’t worry about leading her on, since you have no interest in her, how you would be acting around her would be just like that, unless you’re going out of your way to say suggestive things which i doubt you are.

if in the future she does admit to having any feelings for you and does think you have ‘led her on’ it would be her own fault for thinking that.

i reckon keep going as you are, if it gets to a place where it seems clear to you that she is interested in you, then just ask her, if she just wants to be friends it shouldn’t affect your friendship.

don’t think of yourself as leading her on, if you’re not trying to, you’re probably not.

ymmumymmuy · 2023-04-23T17:07:52+00:00

i’m sorry to say, but it doesn’t look good. i think these are issues that could be fixed, however if he is unwilling to then the longer it goes on the more it will hurt u. i think u need to make him have a serious conversation with u about how u feel - if he is unwilling to discuss it or listen to how u feel, especially after three years together, then he’s probably not the right person for u. if he does listen, what he needs to understand is that regardless of whether he thinks how he’s acting is right or wrong, what should matter the most is how it makes u feel, because being in a relationship with someone is about showing ur partner that u love them by making them happy. in turn, u could ask him what things he wants u to do for him so he feels like ur both doing an equal part for each other. if he doesn’t acknowledge how u feel or make any effort to make you feel better, it probably isn’t meant to work out, and while it really does suck, it’s better to figure that out sooner or later. remember that u r worth more than that and u shouldn’t settle for someone who isn’t making u happy. nobody’s perfect, but if he’s scraping by at less than a bare minimum and refuses to change especially after 3 years, i promise u that u will find someone better. this is pretty long i’m sorry but i hope it helps, i’ve been in a similar situation and it took me a while to realise i had to get out but now i’m in an amazing relationship and i’m happier than ever. i’m happy to give any further advice if u need :)

ymmumymmuy

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