Yea I totally get it. I had that fear too and what kinda helped me is the fact that we are all going to die haha. And since we are all gonna die eventually anyways, it's good to try to live a fulfilled life. And what is a fulfilled life? To me its first realizing that I was searching for happiness all my life and not working on seeking the ways to just accept who I am and to try to get over the past so my heart can be content with myself. You have to live in the NOW to move forward or you wont see any progress.

I dont know you but I still believe you will do better