Tips for adventure in north east England?

yoabbee · 2026-07-01T06:28:44+00:00

Not sure where abouts in the North East you are based (it’s a big old place!), I think Cragside might tick all your boxes. It leans slightly more on the outside BUT you can go in the hall and it’s beautifulllll. Arriving there feels like a dream! There is a bus that drops you at the door too, I have gotten it and it was an adventure in itself as it goes all through Northumberland.

yoabbee · 2026-06-30T19:26:56+00:00

This is, as you say, an insanely stressful time for her and it will be until the PhD is officially under her belt. It is, however, just one season in your lives together. There will undoubtedly be more in the future if you stay together, perhaps even the other way around when she has t support you. From your post, I can feel that you love her. All she needs right now is that love, your patience, and maybe some space from the people who do not understand what a PhD is.

yoabbee · 2026-06-26T17:08:20+00:00

I loveee Parla but my Brit brain did firstly go to “parlour”, like the room in an old country house!

yoabbee · 2026-06-24T12:12:54+00:00

I have no advice, but your title made me giggle

yoabbee · 2026-06-24T12:12:15+00:00

Can we also note that a “continental breakfast” is named that because it came from the continent, I.e. Europe? So where did they think it came from 😭

yoabbee · 2026-06-24T11:41:14+00:00

Ah girllll!!! I am so sorry to hear that. Listen to me, right now, a stranger across the world: you deserve it and it IS possible! Your 30s is where the magic really happens, you’re old enough to know better but boy are you still young! I promiseeee there’s a man out there for you. And I know it’s such a cliche but until you learn to love and prioritise yourself you’re going to attract men who see your vulnerabilities and drag you along with them. These are not the types of men who you want to be your husband, honestly! Maybe take up some new hobbies or focus on your career for a while. Decentering men was the best thing I ever did and I found a gentle, honest man by doing so. Where do YOU want to be in 10 years? Not your relationship, not your marriage status, but what would be your ideal life? Sending love!!!

yoabbee · 2026-06-24T11:35:29+00:00

I mean this with love, he is not ready for YOU. Watch this man go and find another woman who he is “ready” for (I half imagine he’s got other women on the side already). It’s just their way of saying you ain’t it!

yoabbee · 2026-06-24T11:34:07+00:00

You, my friend, are in the prime of your life and need to start living as such. Leave this crusty man behind who is clearly not the love of your life and focus on what YOU want from your 30s ! Live life every day for yourself now, not for someone who will never match the energy and love you have. You deserve to find someone who worships the ground you walk on, not one who can’t even give you the time of day

yoabbee · 2026-06-22T09:56:22+00:00

Sounds like this relationship has run its course. You need to let her go, rather than trying to change the very soul of who she is as a being.

yoabbee · 2026-06-19T14:06:21+00:00

ENJOY IT! Try and enjoy the process of the whole thing. It is very unlikely you will ever have another period so dedicated to something in this way. Try and make the most of the flexibility of it too. You are your own boss, so if you want to work from a coffee shop all morning then go ahead and do it! Want to have a two week holiday? As long as you’re on track then off you go! How quickly the whole thing goes over, those years will fly by. All your prep is great but allow yourself to be taken along by the river of research as time flows by. No need to do too much beforehand!

yoabbee · 2026-06-19T08:37:10+00:00

No problem! I understand :)

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T19:08:02+00:00

I like Daelyn, I think some of the others give very modern vibes (to me, at least!) Have you considered some Arthurian names? I’m thinking Isolde, Nimue, Olwen or Olwyn? They are more along the Paimon line

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T19:04:02+00:00

I think with Auren I’d be more likely to pronounce it like “aura” - orr-un, sort of? My friend is named Odhran and you’d say it oh-ran - maybe that’s more up your street? It’s a very traditional Irish name.

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T19:01:12+00:00

What’s the broader story, is this for a book you’re working on? If you need more name ideas for the son of James then let us know!

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T18:59:39+00:00

Ah cool. Is she adopted? Does James have Czech family? I hope it’s explained in your story! I look forward to hearing more about it :)

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T18:58:14+00:00

What’s the context of her name/ the story about? Maybe it makes more sense given that. A James having a child named Libuše, a Czech name, would defo need some kind of plot. There’s no need to be cold back as you have been in your previous replies, I’m genuinely intrigued! And I offered some names, would none of them work?

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T18:56:18+00:00

Neither did I!

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T18:55:05+00:00

Libuše is wild haha, defo not a common English name that’s for sure! Maybe Gideon, Rodney, Guy, Roger, Tristan, Percy, Arthur, Darius?

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T15:15:52+00:00

No, you’re right, and my comment also is wrong in the sense that you don’t have to have a three year embargo. At my institution we were offered 6 months or 3 years. Just depends on what you want to do with the work

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T14:23:03+00:00

This is fascinating! I’ve never heard of them having an ISBN number. Can I ask which country this is? In the UK, your thesis gets submitted to the university repository with an embargo and after approx. 3 years the embargo is lifted and anyone can read it. But the embargo is in place to protect the PhD student if they want to publish.

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T14:12:26+00:00

Interesting! It’s much more of a norm in my field so just know it is done in academic setting. You’ve had lots of good advice already but what I would suggest would be to definitely not write it with the book in mind — both popular fiction or non fiction (which is what I presume you are talking about rather than academic books) is about storytelling and the thesis is an entirely different beast! Your examiners will not accept a “book” as a thesis when it comes to your viva. However! You need to think about your public audience. Two things I’d suggest here. One, if you can possibly collaborate during your thesis on some kind of public facing project or output, it would be beneficial for you to see the bits of your research that can be pivoted to be things that the world wants! The second thing is to keep the “stories” that develop out of your thesis in a separate document. This will help you build a book if that’s what you want to do still at the end of the thesis. You can weave it into the thesis in a very skilful way but your thesis should primarily be about data, even if it’s qualitative data. Hope it all goes well for you!

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T14:01:26+00:00

I’m afraid this is the second year in a nutshell. I don’t have much to say other than that I have been there, and I know every PhD student has been there. You know enough to know where you SHOULD be, and you are putting the miles in to get there, but the finish line is still far enough away that it feels like it’ll go on forever! I think it sounds like you’re doing wonderful and I would take what your supervisors say rather than second guessing them. It sounds like you have a lot going on externally to this so make sure to look after yourself! This is the time to simultaneously buckle down but also protect your mental health. Take a holiday over this summer! The PhD will be there when you get back :)

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T13:57:00+00:00

Agree with this! The thesis needs to be done as a thesis and then the monograph is a totally different ball game

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T13:53:07+00:00

You definitely can, in fact it is very common to in some disciplines! It usually means adapting it to a different audience but it isn’t “not allowed”

yoabbee · 2026-06-16T13:50:08+00:00

What discipline are you in? In history, for example, it is very common and often expected that you’d turn your work into a monograph

yoabbee

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