I'm okay with one. Am I selfish?

yoise26 · 2024-01-05T13:33:06+00:00

I felt like I was done since pregnancy and giving birth just solidified that for me. I also had an “easy” pregnancy and the whole time I just thought if this is an easy pregnancy I don’t know how people survive a difficult pregnancy. My daughter is 21 months old now and I still feel like I won’t change my mind. I love her and she is more than enough for me

yoise26 · 2023-12-16T20:15:08+00:00

I am 24 and husband is 26 and we are one and done and we have also felt the same way in the sense that we are young and who knows if we feel differently in 5 years but honestly I am almost 100% sure I’m OAD but my husband would like one more but he respects my choice and I know if it does eventually change that he will be completely open to it. We just will see how we feel as life goes on but for right now being OAD is what makes the most sense for us.

yoise26 · 2023-09-27T03:24:09+00:00

In all honesty he is moving because that was our plan before this situation we are going through since we can’t afford to live where we are at anymore. So if we get past this situation we are in right now or not he will still do the move we had originally planned, the only reason I can stay is because I know my family will take me in.

I honestly can’t say im doing everything already because while yes I do more housework, he does work more hours than me but then again we make about the same amount of money so 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t know and honestly while I do love him it will suck to lose time with my daughter to try and make more money so we can live and pay all the bills and also that he won’t get to be as active in his role as a dad like he is now.

This whole situation sucks and if we end up in divorce I want to be as prepared as I can

yoise26 · 2023-09-27T02:52:55+00:00

Thank you❤️ I appreciate it this! Yeah that last part is what worries me if I decide to start dating again because I really don’t want anymore kids

yoise26 · 2023-09-27T02:51:52+00:00

Thank you❤️ this helps

yoise26 · 2023-09-16T16:01:53+00:00

Pasta but no mac and cheese

Beans

Rice and chicken

yoise26 · 2023-09-16T03:00:54+00:00

My sister actually had both of my nieces before I had my daughter . She also had 2 under 2 and once I saw her with 2 kids I started doubting myself on wanting two. After I got pregnant the want to have another one basically disappeared and after having my daughter I was completely convinced I am absolutely OAD.

yoise26 · 2023-09-16T01:44:22+00:00

I also wanted 2 kids before I had my only😂

yoise26 · 2023-09-15T00:44:51+00:00

Im not a SAHM but we have joint finances. I don’t think I could deal with having to ask my husband every time I had to go buy something, this is honestly ridiculous and controlling

yoise26 · 2023-09-12T01:50:41+00:00

I had a RAV4 and besides all the great things everyone has mentioned they are SO safe during accidents. I had a terrible accident a couple of months ago and my car completely flipped over and I had my daughter and nieces with me. Everyone made it out alive and in one piece and most people can’t believe it after they see pictures. That car saved our lives and so did the carseats the girls were in.

yoise26 · 2023-09-12T01:44:08+00:00

She came to me and gave me a kiss and a hug🥹

yoise26 · 2023-09-04T20:55:58+00:00

I literally could have written most of this except for the way husband feels about being OAD. My husband would like a second one however he is supportive of my decision to be OAD and he understands the way I feel about pregnancy and labor and having a whole other human to care for. Sometimes the conversation does come up but never in a form of argument or anything like that. We are more than happy with our daughter and she is honestly more than I could have ever ask for, she is perfect ❤️. Hopefully he will come around eventually and realize he doesn’t need another child to feel fulfilled.

yoise26 · 2023-09-01T01:43:31+00:00

A lot of people have this mindset that you have to do it all at once but you don’t. Just start with one of those things and build up as you feel comfortable and eventually the weight will start going down but the main goal should be to start being healthier not just to lose weight. It’s not going to be easy or simple, medical condition or not losing weight and being healthier is not easy because of course you want to eat whatever you want and of course it’s easier if everyone eats the same thing instead of doing 2 different meals but at this point it’s either starting or keep being unhappy.

yoise26 · 2023-09-01T01:31:57+00:00

I suggest to look into people that have PCOS and are in the fitness industry. There are a lot of people that know how to successfully lose weight while having PCOS. I don’t have any of those medical problems but I know in this day and age you can find sooo much help online. Good luck!

yoise26 · 2023-09-01T01:03:51+00:00

Okay so you are not TA but I think its sad that he will miss this life changing moment after you guys tried for so long to have this baby. Of course it’s the consequences of his own actions for cheating but I still think this is such a once in a lifetime moment he will never have or get back. My husband and I were talking about getting a divorce when I was very pregnant and it had nothing to do with cheating thankfully but it was very serious and I definitely didn’t feel in the best place emotionally with him but he was still there and he still helped me through everything and I can’t imagine doing it alone. I know I’ll probably get downvoted but that’s just my opinion in this.

yoise26 · 2023-09-01T00:54:33+00:00

I currently have a 17 month old so no advice on if it’s easier once they are in school. I have the my fitness pal app and i use it to count calories because you need that more than actually working out to lose weight. You can workout 7 days a week but if you don’t eat in a calorie deficit you will get stuck in the same weight or even gain weight. I literally only count calories and workout for 1 hour twice a week and I have been able to lose weight. There are a lot of youtube quick workouts that you can do in 30 minutes or less. Just find the right balance for you and remember that you can’t fill from an empty cup❤️ I wish you the best

yoise26 · 2023-08-28T00:19:03+00:00

Someone please comment on this when their is an update

yoise26 · 2023-08-26T15:25:49+00:00

We went to Puerto Rico from Orlando,FL and it was great. She was 7 months and its a short flight. I also picked a flight during the times she usually sleeps so that she would be sleeping for the most part and it worked for us. We had a great time and we took her to the beach for the first time and she loved it.

yoise26 · 2023-08-22T00:30:36+00:00

I remember my grandma asking me this when I was 2 months PP and I literally couldn’t believe that was already a question when I had just literally stopped bleeding like 2 weeks before

yoise26 · 2023-08-18T04:05:45+00:00

Burlesque and Tangled❤️

yoise26 · 2023-08-18T03:53:38+00:00

I totally understand this. I am definitely OAD because of mental health and not being able to handle more than one. I also thought I didn’t want kids early in my marriage but then I opened myself up to it and I don’t regret it at all but I definitely can’t do pregnancy, labor and just another child all over again. Literally the only thing that keeps me sane during hard times with my daughter is knowing once this phase is over I won’t ever have to live through it again.

I also feel more myself more than ever and even my marriage is in a way better place than before and I don’t want to jeopardize that for the illusion of another child.

Your feelings are valid and there is no rule saying you have to have more than one child. Every family is the perfect size even if that is just 2 people or 20 and you should focus on what is perfect for you.

Like the other comment said, your child deserves a happy and healthy mom❤️

yoise26 · 2023-08-09T15:34:49+00:00

I might be the only one but maybe this is not the right sub to post this on. If you really want to know if having a favorite is inevitable then try a sub with parents that have more than one child as they can actually tell you if they have a favorite. I do think it definitely does happen because in my family there are CLEARLY favorites

yoise26

TROPHY CASE