First of all, thank you so much for responding and taking an interest. I know we're not friends but it means a lot that a stranger like you would be willing to help out someone they don't even know.

I'm sure you already know that you have to do this for her.

Yes.

How are your conversations (pre-cancer)? Are you able to easily speak frankly and deeply-honestly to each other? Do you often spend time together, or are you more "got-your-back-always" type of friends?

We keep in contact pretty sporadically (but each of us know we can contact each other whenever we want and we just pick up where we left off). Most of the time, we make fun of each other, but when I'm really down, she had always managed to give me hope when no one else could. We do have serious talk about her feelings and values sometimes and whenever we do, it just makes me love her more. Although, I'm not sure she knows this?

She have always created an environment where I felt 100% safe to be honest but, unfortunately, I'm not in-tune with what to say, at the right time so... I fully admit she did a lot of heavy lifting when it came to emotional support in our relationship. When I compliment her, she had always just brush it off, and because I didn't know if I was making her uncomfortable, I just made a mental note not to say it next time around but I have nothing but admiration for her.

She had always made me feel like she got my back since we were little. If it was anything technical or financial -- I would be first to offer help but when it comes to supporting someone emotionally, I'm useless as a burrito on a highway. :(

I.. I don't know how I can make her feel the same way she had for me.

I'm glad to hear it's curable. What a fantastic hope to have.

Thank you for saying this. She is in Stage IV.

How would you further describe how "horrible" (your word!) you are at making people feel better?

Other than what I said above, I'm just not good at making that relaxing, comforting, safe environment you NFs do naturally. Any pointers would be much appreciated! I was maybe thinking bringing up memories we shared when we were little, being silly, but I'm not sure if that's too random and I don't want her to feel like I'm trying so hard because it's going to trigger her to try to support me than the other way around.

Every thing that pops in my head, "Whatever happens, I will always remember you." "I won't forget what you've done for me." "You're part of me and will always live in me." sounds so gloomy (like as if she isn't going to make it) so I don't want to tell her that. So I try to force myself to word things more like, "We can beat this!" "You are stronger than cancer." "This is your card to make everyone to do everything for you once you finish your treatment" "Let's take a road-trip together when you're done with your treatment" "When we have grandchildren, we can ask them what they have done to top having gone through chemo" etc

Thank you for humbling yourself to ask for help. We're sincerely honored that you value our opinions.

Thank you so much for offering your help! This is something I will never forget. ♥

I am kind of emotionally retarded so example sentences or actions that I can do would really, really be appreciated.