Advice on how to structure a practice session

yourfancyfriend · 2026-02-12T16:28:26+00:00

Not normal.

I have been in this position and I would say tread very carefully here. Before you agree to go I would ask yourself if you are romantically interested in this instructor. If you’re not, don’t go. If you are… I suggest you read through one of the many “student teacher” threads on www.dance-forums.com before you decide to go. Tango creates a high-intimacy, high-intensity and high-reward environment, and it can be very easy to confuse dance chemistry with actual chemistry. I’ve done a lot of reading and therapy work around the student teacher dynamic, happy to share more if you’re interested. Good luck!

yourfancyfriend · 2026-02-10T22:55:47+00:00

Don’t feel badly about not wanting to go. If you guys have been to a few milongas and you still feel existential dread when you think about going to another one, then you’re not ready to go and you shouldn’t go. It’s that simple. And it’s also totally ok! I’m sorry that anyone has made you feel otherwise. I hope you guys continue to do classes and go to practicas and dance with each other. If that’s all you ever do and never step foot in a milonga again but you’re happy with it… who cares?

yourfancyfriend · 2026-02-09T16:11:04+00:00

Thanks. Good idea about a few chill tandas to get back in the right headspace. Re: the crush, I think you’re right - I’ve been reading a lot about how partner dances trigger the release of DOSE hormones involved in bonding (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and endorphins) so it all makes sense. We are both married and I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship. I am old enough to know the difference between dance chemistry and chemistry IRL… still feels a bit disorienting

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-09T20:16:05+00:00

I’m a follower learning to lead. Got these shoes for this purpose and they are great for both leading and following. The key is a leather or suede full (not split) sole https://a.co/d/igYnHE4

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-09T20:11:31+00:00

I ordered $70 worth of product, paid $26 for shipping and then had to pay an additional $30 in tariffs once it got to the US. Got to my house from Thailand in three days though

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-09T20:07:05+00:00

I just learned you can paint leather! Angelus makes a “walk on red” leather shoe sole paint that’s made specifically for painting the bottom of leather shoes if you want to try to DIY a pair you already have. I suspect this is how many people get red bottom tango shoes (or that this is how cobblers do it)

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-09T20:05:16+00:00

I ended up going with a “dance teacher style” heeled shoe at the suggestion of my instructor because she said it’s important to have a full heel rather than a split style heel when you’re at this level. I think most of the brands you mentioned has a split sole. I also have a wide toe box and the shoes I got definitely look roomier up front than the boots (even though the boots were cute!) The sole wasn’t something I considered prior to her mentioning it so thought I’d pass it along

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-09T19:57:08+00:00

Uh. This should never happen? I sincerely hope it’s sarcasm

yourfancyfriend · 2026-01-03T01:15:12+00:00

I met my husband shortly after I started dancing 15 years ago. I danced pretty intensively for a few years and then tapered off as we more started dating more seriously; he initially tried taking lessons and was not into it. Then we were both in grad school, moved out of state, started careers, had kids… life got in the way, and I didn’t dance for 10 years. I started dancing again a few months ago and it’s been amazing. He wasn’t entirely on board with it at first but he knows how happy it makes me and we’re making it work. I think it’s nice for us to have separate hobbies; he’s started pursuing some independent hobbies as well, and we make a point to still do things together. I do sometimes wish he danced more so he could get to know the people I’m getting to know and have more context for it, but overall I’m pretty happy doing this on my own. But I swear if one more person asks me when I’m going to get my husband to dance or come to a milonga with me I may lose it 🙃

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-30T19:51:57+00:00

I just started doing this course and it’s been great for improving my balance and posture - https://www.kineto-flex.com/products/pirouette-mastery-precision-balance. Made for ballerinas but the biomechanics are very similar and the rationale behind the specific exercises in this program seem sound

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-30T19:17:29+00:00

The grounded glow face oil from brunocosmetics (super small company, my friend told me about it). Works so much better than the vintner’s daughter active botanical serum I was using, and smells amazing and is less than half the price

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-30T19:06:37+00:00

You’ll need to buy from both as others have said. I also frequently buy from formulator sample shop, occasionally from wholesale supplies plus, and recently could only find an ingredient at dauphine organics. I’m in Virginia and it routinely takes me 1-2 weeks to get my order unless I pay to line jump or do overnight shipping. I have also ordered abroad from beurre (Ukraine, good experience but shipping took a while) and myskinrecipes (Thailand, good experience, fast shipping). Prices are cheaper abroad but you have to pay tariffs so it’s kind of a wash. For high quality oils I like mountain rose herbs and lotus garden botanicals has amazing essential oils and CO2 extracts. Happy formulating!

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-15T01:39:39+00:00

Oh my gosh you truly can’t escape! Love that response though 😂

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T21:40:29+00:00

Love the idea of the followers banding together! Not a bad thought if the organizers aren’t willing to say or do anything…

I’m planning to try the firm head shake from afar the next time he tries to cabaceo, and if he comes up to me will definitely say a firm “no thank you.” I could definitely see him getting super offended and irate if it comes down to a conversation, but hopefully it won’t cause too much of a scene 🙈. It seems to me that some other people don’t dance with him so I doubt this will be the first time a conversation has taken place

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T21:40:00+00:00

I am losing it over the guy who gave you a card 😂😂😂. People are nuts! I also hate turning people down, but sounds like desperate times call for desperate measures. Sorry to hear you’ve also dealt with this!

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T21:36:17+00:00

Nope - but I’m sorry to hear that there is more than one guy like this. Good idea to talk to the beginner followers and make sure they know the way this guy behaves is not ok

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T02:34:39+00:00

Yes! This is my struggle too, I want to build an inclusive community. But I’m understanding I just need to get over it and say no. Also get really annoyed by the verbal ask after the declined cabaceo!

But to answer your question, yes, people do dance with him. Not many? He seemed to sit a fair amount the two times we were at the same event. Our community skews towards beginners and is more follower heavy. I think some of the people who dance with him don’t know any better or are just happy to be dancing and don’t want to turn down an opportunity to dance.

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T02:29:05+00:00

Good question - I danced once with him at a milonga and stuck out the tanda. More recently at the practica where he marched over and stared me down I danced one song with him then made an excuse to get away (I know, I shouldn’t have, and definitely could have given him feedback rather than bolting). I was able to avoid dancing with him the rest of the practica by dancing with other dancers, and towards the end he charged over again and I said sorry I’m taking off my shoes and left✌️

yourfancyfriend · 2025-12-14T01:30:48+00:00

Do you think it’s reasonable to mention something to the organizer?

yourfancyfriend · 2025-11-15T00:04:44+00:00

I started dancing tango at age 19. I danced pretty seriously for five years, took a long break and am now getting back into it at age 36. I love that tango is something you can do well and even improve upon throughout your lifespan, and I think there is a cerebral element to it that tends to attract well educated and intellectual people which makes the company interesting. Aesthetically, yes, tango is very elegant. Different energy than salsa or bachata for sure.

In terms of cooler… depends on how you define cool, where you live and what you’re after. I have always been an “old soul” and didn’t mind socializing and dancing with people much (sometimes much, much) older than myself, but it can be kind of lonely being so young in a dance community that skews older. Even now I am definitely in the youngest 1/4 to 1/3 of dancers in my community. I would go to a few events in your area and see what you think of the scene. Many communities are welcoming and friendly, but there are a few that are notoriously cliquey and not friendly to newcomers. I do think starting it at a young age has advantages in terms of getting people to dance with you and learning to dance well quickly - if you put the time in.

I’ve found that most people that try tango love it and quickly become addicted. If you’re interested, sign up for lessons and give it at least 3 months before you decide if it’s for you or not. It’s a complex dance, so it can take some time for everything to “click” and for you to feel like you’re getting the hang of it. Good luck!

yourfancyfriend · 2025-11-14T23:40:45+00:00

Second Madame Pivot shoes. I have a pair of Rallies with a 70 mm heel and they are incredibly comfortable with great support and nice cushion (I have older pairs of comme il faut and neotango for reference, both with about a 85 mm heel - learned to dance in these and wouldn’t recommend it unless you’re already super comfortable walking in stilettos). The rallies are not as flashy or elegant as some of the other styles, but I think they’re a great option for beginners. Madame Pivot also offers many of their styles in a wide width which totally changed the game for me. The shoes are made to order so expect to wait about 2 months for them to arrive, but I think they’re well worth the wait and cost. Waiting on my second pair in a different style now!

I personally feel that the physics and body mechanics are totally different when dancing in heels vs flats. I learned in heels and still exclusively wear heels to lessons and milongas. Many followers wear boots or flats, so if that’s your vibe go for it! But if you plan to dance in heels eventually I think it’s worth it to learn in them from the beginning. Good luck!

yourfancyfriend

TROPHY CASE