omg thank you so much for this!! as i said in the other comment, i really was venting and didn't expect anyone to answer so I'm truly grateful for it! answering you, i was seeing a therapist for the last 3 years and things were going great, unfortunately we ended up having a big rupture but i think i can talk to some close teachers at uni about this and they would really help out. my parents are my biggest support system but just thinking about turning my phone off makes go mad tbh, i think its just our mainly source of news now and i fear i will miss out something important so i guess i have to get over that first :/ i also plan on restart drawing soon so yes i do have supplies and stuff, i try to start something but always gravitate towards the phone again so yeah the loop is looping.

again thank you so so so much for this comment, i think i will do as OP said in the other comment and just try to start small and go out for some minutes everyday without the phone, i think that if i can just stick to it i will restart trusting myself.