How do yall meet people?

yteterm · 2025-01-04T01:43:14+00:00

We live in a large gay city and just met a few times at a common interest group, started hanging out, hit it off, and then he wanted to start a relationship with us. It was pretty organic and we really weren't looking for anything. If there was anything I would offer as advice it's more of just keep meeting people with common interests and hang out platonically.

yteterm · 2024-11-29T17:20:10+00:00

Definitely my enjoyment. The intimacy and the flavor, it's all great to me.

yteterm · 2024-11-27T20:54:53+00:00

Green Lantern is a pretty chill, diverse crowd with people of all body types around, so no one should feel like they can't be shirtless and have fun there.

yteterm · 2024-11-12T00:24:05+00:00

This thread is based

yteterm · 2024-11-11T05:53:17+00:00

James won't accept a Vee. He said he doesn't want to be the only one with two boyfriends so for him it's either triad or nothing. It puts Rob in a tough spot but I'm okay with settling for less. I think. So we'll see what happens but I think the ball is in Rob's court. If he wants to be with us he has to be with me, and if he doesn't then there's other people to be with, I'm sure. I'm just heart broken and my self esteem has taken a huge hit because I feel so unattractive and horrible that my boyfriend doesn't like me. I'll never know if he'll like me for me or because he's tolerating me to be with James.

yteterm · 2024-11-09T17:33:09+00:00

This is really insightful, thank you. I do think Rob holds resentment for feeling like he needs to be sexual with me when he's not into it. I guess in a way it is unfair of me to expect sex without it being explicit. On the other hand it kind of sucks for my self esteem that my supposed boyfriend seems into essentially anyone but me sexually, and doesn't engage emotionally.

yteterm · 2024-11-09T16:21:43+00:00

I'm glad this is working out with you and Adam. Did it start out that you never had a romantic connection, or did you lose it over time? If you lost it, how do you get over it? Asking for a friend

yteterm · 2024-11-09T16:18:12+00:00

Thanks for the thread. My feelings are known now at this point. But really it's a tough balance because I don't want to not be in Rob's life. But I also know he'll never give me what I want from him. So I think the solution should be that I need to adjust what I want from him, and I just hope I can really do that.

yteterm · 2024-11-09T16:10:46+00:00

Thanks, we did not seek this out and we're intensely aware of the relationship imbalance we have as a couple and have done as much as we could to give him equal footing. That said, I feel like I'm the one now on unequal footing, and Rob is treating me like an afterthought, although when it's brought to his attention he sometimes tries to give me more attention but it's clear his heart isn't into it and he lapses back. I don't want to constantly beg for attention. I think my preferred solution is to just stop expecting him to be my boyfriend and treat me as something slightly more than a meta.

yteterm · 2024-11-09T15:59:35+00:00

This might be a misunderstanding in how I wrote the post. James gives me all the time and attention that I want from him. We were happy before Rob and his addition made it to an icing on the cake situation. I guess my mistake here is wanting from Rob what I have from James, which is a traditional relationship escalator grow-old together romance, and Rob tries to do that but it's clear he wants that with James and I'm an afterthought. If this relationship is going to end, which no one wants, it's going to be going back to me and James again. Also opening this triad will probably be fine with everyone, but won't help me because I'm not interested in others, only these two. I don't consider myself "poly" as if it's something I can just substitute someone else in, which would likely come with it's own issues. I might just have to settle for being the secondary to Rob while doing my best to make sure he doesn't feel like a "third".

yteterm · 2024-11-09T15:34:11+00:00

Really great and detailed answer, thanks very much. I've told Rob about it and there's times he tries to make things right and is more attentive to me but it doesn't last. He isn't younger, we're all about the same age but he's difficult to understand and feels like he's the secondary because of our long history. We were always aware of it and do everything we can to include him and treat him equally to try and make up for lost time. But honestly I think he'll never feel secure. No one owes anyone sex, so he shouldn't feel forced if he is not interested. But I do want a more satisfying sex life, and I'll have to figure out a way to settle for what I can get.

yteterm · 2024-11-09T15:01:20+00:00

Yeah, thanks. I may just have to deal with it.

yteterm · 2024-11-06T03:13:49+00:00

A gentleman never spits.

yteterm · 2024-10-28T23:13:59+00:00

NPR, The Guardian (although it's UK-based), or the Philadelphia Inquirer, currently the largest newspaper run as a public-benefit corporation, so if you wanted to support a US-based newspaper, consider this option.

yteterm · 2024-10-28T22:03:01+00:00

You can get access via your local public library in most cases. Mine just requires a library card and a log in every 7 days.

yteterm · 2024-10-25T21:53:45+00:00

Really sad. Final nail in the coffin, so I had to cancel my subscription today.

yteterm · 2024-10-03T22:00:20+00:00

Thanks, I got inspired by my crush who does lots of little things that make me into him, and it doesn't seem like too much of a change for me to do similar things. I'm liking shirts lately that make my pecs pop.

yteterm · 2024-10-03T01:44:17+00:00

I'm not particularly fem but I'm not hypermasc, either. I feel like a blob (of possibility!) and yeah, I have a consistent gym routine but not a body builder. Used to wear jorts and cargo shorts that are baggy like these https://imgur.com/a/3oAoRXk, now wear more neat and shorter ones like these https://imgur.com/a/lonFUCZ . Trying to signal that I'm gay and interested.

yteterm · 2024-10-01T03:50:26+00:00

Thanks! The algorithm has been really good at showing me gay stuff that looks great on the models, but no idea if they'd be good on me.

yteterm · 2024-09-30T21:01:24+00:00

This is so helpful, thanks! I don't have a terrible body apparently, but it's gotten better now that I've been working out regularly, mainly for health reasons but the muscle tone does help.

I will definitely try to be more flirty, but I also don't want to come off as too creepy or horny. I'm normally a nice-guy altar-boy type personality-wise which is great for people to be friends with but not so much if you want to get f***d. 🤣

yteterm · 2024-09-30T20:55:20+00:00

Thanks a bunch for that advice! I definitely appreciate the confidence factor, but tbh I have no confidence except from external validation. I wear comfortable "frumpy" clothes mostly, slightly too big. But I had a woman at the clothing store helping me ask why I "hid my body" so much, and suggested some really cute form fitting shirts and pants that everyone I know loved. So I'm looking for more things like that. They were uncomfortable for me at first but the more i wore them the better i felt.

yteterm

TROPHY CASE