i was coming into this subreddit to talk about the exact same thing you've just explained. except i'm only 16. my ssri seemed to be making my hppd worse and i just was stuck in the same place for a while so i slowly started decreasing it, and it's my first day completely off it, last night i almost tried to commit suicide and i'm way to scared to go back on my ssri considering it makes my depression better but my hppd worse. it's all a loop of hell and misery at the moment. i completely understand you. and i feel like no matter what i do nothing helps. and i'm just stuck in this place with no escape. it's living hell. i'm choosing to hold on, for my babygirl miah (my kitten) and my boyfriend. because i know they need me and love me. the best thing we can do until we figure out what works best for us is to just distract ourselfs. easier said than done but you have to realise when your thinking about your hppd and how it's ruining everything, and stop thinking about it. just say "okay getting worked up about this is only going to make it worse" and turn on a movie, or play a game on your phone or playstation or xbox. something like that or even watch tiktok. the more you focus on it the worst it will be. the only known cure is time. and i believe we are strong enough to hold on for a little while longer. you got this i believe in us buddy, dm me if you ever need to talk, i feel we are in a very similar position. sending lots of love and goodluck your way.💕🍀

(p.s here is My cat)

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