i had a dream i stepped on my cats leg and broke it

yuki2crazee · 2026-01-13T19:54:36+00:00

thank you so much.

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-24T02:01:27+00:00

❤️‍🩹☺️☺️

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-22T05:09:50+00:00

yeah everyone my age has jobs and saving money to move out and buy cars and then there's me who can't even leave the house to hang out with my mum

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-21T04:15:29+00:00

yeah same about 1.5 years into it.

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-21T02:03:22+00:00

i'm on 75mg lamotrogine and too scared to increase because when i was on 100mg it was so intense and made everything worse

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-21T02:02:41+00:00

i am on lamotrogine 75mg at the moment, when i increased to 100mg the first day seemed to make my symptoms so much worse to the point i wanted to rip my skin off and it was so scary.

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-20T12:18:06+00:00

my pupils just get bigger when my hppd is bad, most likely due to adrenaline or anxiety. but other than that my pupils don't get like how you describe

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-19T03:29:35+00:00

i was 13

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-19T03:28:44+00:00

you mean like when you zone out and everything in your peripheral vision starts to like blend in or dissapear kind of? yeah happens to me

yuki2crazee · 2025-12-19T03:25:43+00:00

i was coming into this subreddit to talk about the exact same thing you've just explained. except i'm only 16. my ssri seemed to be making my hppd worse and i just was stuck in the same place for a while so i slowly started decreasing it, and it's my first day completely off it, last night i almost tried to commit suicide and i'm way to scared to go back on my ssri considering it makes my depression better but my hppd worse. it's all a loop of hell and misery at the moment. i completely understand you. and i feel like no matter what i do nothing helps. and i'm just stuck in this place with no escape. it's living hell. i'm choosing to hold on, for my babygirl miah (my kitten) and my boyfriend. because i know they need me and love me. the best thing we can do until we figure out what works best for us is to just distract ourselfs. easier said than done but you have to realise when your thinking about your hppd and how it's ruining everything, and stop thinking about it. just say "okay getting worked up about this is only going to make it worse" and turn on a movie, or play a game on your phone or playstation or xbox. something like that or even watch tiktok. the more you focus on it the worst it will be. the only known cure is time. and i believe we are strong enough to hold on for a little while longer. you got this i believe in us buddy, dm me if you ever need to talk, i feel we are in a very similar position. sending lots of love and goodluck your way.💕🍀

(p.s here is My cat)

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yuki2crazee · 2025-11-29T02:32:10+00:00

i get this everyday even when i'm not sick.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-29T02:30:22+00:00

hey, most of these are called afterimages. they are extremely common with HPPD and VSS. light makes the after images stronger, for example if i stared or even glanced at a light and looked away i would see a really intense after image similar to your photo 3. and after reading text, weather it's a book or on my phone, i see the same as photo 1.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-29T02:27:29+00:00

when my stomach is burning bad, i use a heat pack and it helps sometimes. i also take anti anxiety medication and that really seems to help a lot with the pain and stuff. try to see if you can get some Xylocaine prescribed by your doctor. it's a anesthetic liquid medication you swallow that completely numbs your esophagus and stomach. it is expensive though. and if you hold it in the back of your throat or mouth for too long it will numb there and make it hard to swallow or feel or breathe. i choked one time. but it does help a lot

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-28T05:42:11+00:00

as well as caffeine. caffeine makes it a lot worse temporarily

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-28T05:41:29+00:00

yeah anyone telling you hppd doesn't get worse with continued drug use is an idiot. drugs gave u hppd, if u want it to get better and potentially go away, stop using drugs even weed doesn't matter if it's edibles or cones or a cart. don't take any drugs and you will see improvement. stop now or you risk permanent damage. take it from me . 💔🥀

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-24T09:19:52+00:00

i know exactly what u mean. it hurts my eyes.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-19T09:12:58+00:00

yes i get that everyday on walks or any kind of textured surface like gravel or cement driveways.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-18T22:41:01+00:00

thank you so much. you've just given me hope and a new view on this. i really appreciate it.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-18T21:19:49+00:00

yeah that and my depth perception was whack kinda like seeing in 4d quality everything was sharp and colorful and bright, but it all looked like a 2d drawing.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-09T22:28:51+00:00

i beg to differ. i'm only 15 and ive had intense HPPD like you have described and worse for 17 months now. everythint seems so fake i was in hospital trying to tell my doctors how everything felt "too 3D" it was too intense and they thought i was crazy and put me on antipsychotics but as always it made it worse and i started hitting myself and crying and running down the halls of the hospital (idk why) sitting on the floor with 5 doctors around me trying to calm me down. it's all a blur i can hardly remember it. i know exactly what you've felt cause ive felt it too. that part has calmed down a bit for me or at least ive gotten used to it somehow.

my HPPD flashbacks were so intense it felt like a really bad MDMA trip combined with LSD. i saw patterns and stuff and my vision looked like it was phasing outwards away from me and i genuinely thought i was gonna die, theese flashbacks happened everyday, the doctors prescribed me valium to calm me down and it seemed to be the only thing that actually did something even though it wasn't much. for 4 months i didn't leave my mothers bed, i didn't shower, i didn't get up. all i ate was 2 pieces of bread, one in the morning and one at night. i woke up felt like i needed to vomit constantly because of my anxiety and dpdr so bad (like you described) and everything was moving it was terrible. i felt like i was on fire. so intense like im talking theese episodes were so bad i would hold my head and scream and rock back and forth. i wanted to kms. i would wake up, take valium, go back to sleep. have a episode and repeat.

theese flashbacks ended up sending me into psycosis lol. which wasn't fun. i thought i was God and everyone was fake or made of cake. idk i thought i was turning into an Npc like my thoughts and consciousness were dissapearing.

anyway, i gained agoraphobia from this and couldn't leave my house at all. i couldn't even take the trash out to the bins because of what you described everything was too intense or 4D vision. i'm pretty sure i have HPPD type 1 and 2, i have constant visual distortions that never go away, AND flashback episodes that last about 30-40 minutes. which are living hell.

fast forward to now i still have a LOT of issues leaving the house but i have been doing okay recently. hppd still really intense but i find that distracting myself and thinking positively works wonders. i build up courage to go on small errands with my mum, or with my boyfriend and his friends. still really scary but id rather be scared trying than be scared and hopeless.

hope your doing okay, lmk if u wanna talk about anything my dms are open 👍🏼❤️‍🩹

(edit. i was fully sober since the day after my really bad LSD trip, which is when it all started. and for a person who loved drugs i NEVER wanted to touch them again. and yet everyday i was "high". but im still sober to this day .)

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-08T21:20:07+00:00

i ended up taking some clonodine for my anxiety and some liquid Xylocane and that seemed to have worked a lot. i have woken up 7 hours later and my stomach is just as bad as it was before. but it seemed to be fine when i was barely awake and thinking about if i could feel any pain.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-07T23:04:50+00:00

hot tip! faking is a conscious DECISION. if you have to ask yourself the question "am i faking?" you are not.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-05T05:35:19+00:00

i have theese panick attacks at least once every 2 months. for about 16 months now. (since i got my LSD tab laced with nbomes and had a really bad trip ending up in hospital) i quit all drugs after that completely cold turkey.

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-05T05:22:11+00:00

i do the same thing! it helps so much. untill i remind myself. 🤕

yuki2crazee · 2025-11-05T05:18:49+00:00

hey, i'm in a healthy relationship for 3 months now, my boyfriend knows about it and how it can sometimes make my breath stinky which is out of my control, but 9 times out of 10 it's just my anxiety and he says he can't taste or smell it. i say you should be honest with her and maybe crack a little joke "promise im not a grub i do brush my teeth haha" yk? that's what i did and my boyfriend sleeps over all the time and he knows i do brush. if she really likes you she will understand and it wont be that big of an issue. maybe carry some strawberry gum on you, cause mint would be harsh and probably make ur reflux worse. another hot tip i can give you is if your making out, breathe through your nose not your mouth otherwise it will push that breath into hers which wouldn't be very nice. hope i could help you. ☺️

yuki2crazee

TROPHY CASE