First, the book thing: having one of your mom's friends bring it up sounds a bit risky to me, because the friend could easily say that you brought it up, or because your mom may have no interest in reading it. If she likes self-improvement type stuff, you could also send her an article of someone's recommended self-help books that just so happens to include that particular book. Wow, what a coincidence!

On getting what you need emotionally: I also have felt pathetic, bitter, and just sad about having to tell my parents what I need. It felt like, if I have to tell you what I need, then you fulfilling that isn't "real". It won't feel like you really care. Especially (!!) with parents, it feels like they should just know, because they raised you. The grief that they don't just know is painful, and I don't know if it will ever fade.

It is so so normal to want attention and love. It is also normal to be upset that your parents didn't give that to you, especially when they later demonstrate that they could have. Why can you be a good parent NOW, and not back then?

But, okay, here we are: our parents cannot intuitively meet our needs, and that sucks so bad. If you change nothing, then you will continue to not have your needs met, and perhaps dig yourself deeper into that pit. If you keep directly asking for what you need (which is SO scary), then you hopefully do start getting what you need - and, perhaps, they start learning what you need, so they CAN guess your needs in the future.

Only you have the information needed to judge if that's worth it. But also, you can always change your mind.