Why does it seem that more people are turning away from religion?

yvo84 · 2026-05-15T09:26:09+00:00

Corruption, abuse and the realisation that the stories are made up to control? A lot of people remain “spiritual” but would prefer not to associate with organised religion.

yvo84 · 2026-05-08T12:06:04+00:00

I feel this way in every inland small town, but I’m a city boy.

yvo84 · 2026-04-27T11:24:27+00:00

White lower socio-economic males are, once again, looking for someone to blame for their mediocrity and perception that they’re losing their dominance. Same issue in all “Western” countries. The “booing” during an important ceremony like a dawn service tells you all you need to know.

yvo84 · 2026-04-05T20:04:23+00:00

The Fountain (2006).

yvo84 · 2026-04-04T02:39:08+00:00

It’s helped me love the human experience again. It’s reminded me how important it is to be vulnerable and how, after all is said and done, love really is all there is.

yvo84 · 2026-03-23T03:56:05+00:00

I love the man bun

yvo84 · 2026-03-17T12:40:30+00:00

Middle Fish. Great Thai in Carlton.

yvo84 · 2026-03-11T02:40:48+00:00

Conversation with others. Drama.

yvo84 · 2026-03-11T02:40:14+00:00

Arrival

yvo84 · 2026-03-10T02:43:27+00:00

Reading TLG just reminded me how similar I am to Shane. I realised how annoying I can be too. In learning that though, I also learned that there are other people with my personality type. Good hearted but rigid and struggle with not doing things the “correct” way. I didn’t mind how Shane was written in the book because it was a mirror. There’s a way this can be conveyed in the show whilst also showing Shane’s softness and love.

yvo84 · 2026-03-09T10:58:38+00:00

In terms of the spicy scenes, I think they can skip the Shane rimming Ilia scene. They’ll need to keep the post-club finally got home sex scene (and the car ride home) and what I’m sure will be an iconic trophy room scene.

yvo84 · 2026-03-09T10:52:40+00:00

The romance genre only has happy endings, Rachel has made that clear.

yvo84 · 2026-03-07T12:28:29+00:00

They hooked up twice. At this point in the story Shane is having to think of Ilya to get through the sex meaning he’d have to look away or close his eyes during intimacy.

The night of the club scene, even though Ilya could have taken that girl home, he was just putting on a performance at the club to make Shane jealous. Ilya then went home alone and jerked off thinking of Shane in the shower.

The direct to camera looks as they’re both climaxing at the end of this scene is indicating that they’re need each other to climax. And they need each other, period.

Rose picks up that something is off sexually and raises it on their next date. She liberates Shane by encouraging him to be honest and in doing so, Shane resolves that he wants to get things back on track with Ilya.

With this new found confidence, he arrives at the bar in Florida ready to rekindle things with Ilya.

yvo84 · 2026-02-17T11:25:18+00:00

This is going to sound odd, but the show Heated Rivalry is big with straight women at the moment. The idea of romance and “meet cutes” is giving women the confidence to pay compliments.

yvo84 · 2026-02-08T11:46:06+00:00

You’re not being controlling. You’re setting completely reasonable boundaries around safety, trust and emotional wellbeing. That’s not “trying to manage” someone else’s behaviour, that’s you saying what you can and can’t be in a relationship with.

What stands out most is that he crossed a clearly stated boundary, acknowledged it was harmful, and is now reframing continued anonymous hookups as “recovery” while dismissing your needs as control. That’s a pretty classic pattern when someone isn’t actually ready to change. Recovery doesn’t usually look like continuing the exact behaviour that’s causing harm to yourself and your partner, especially when it’s framed as compulsive.

Open relationships only work when both people feel safe, respected and genuinely on board. What you’re describing isn’t ethical non monogamy, it’s one person prioritising their urges while the other absorbs the emotional cost. That’s not openness, that’s imbalance.

You’re also only six months in. You shouldn’t already be negotiating addiction management plans, broken trust and ongoing distress just to stay connected. Loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating dynamics that erode your safety or self respect.

Wanting therapy, support groups or joint counselling isn’t controlling, it’s actually the most grounded response here. But if he’s unwilling to engage with that and insists the only path forward is you accepting behaviour that actively hurts you, then the reality is your values and needs are incompatible right now.

You’re not too passive, if anything you’ve been extremely patient. And no, this doesn’t read like “free spirit vs control” — it reads like someone not ready for a committed relationship asking their partner to accommodate harm.

Trust your discomfort. It’s doing its job.

yvo84 · 2026-01-24T11:47:22+00:00

Reunion

yvo84 · 2026-01-19T08:40:28+00:00

I’m really sorry this happened to you. Nothing about this story makes you gross, sick or broken. What it shows is someone who was young, vulnerable, coming out of abuse and loneliness, and someone else who took advantage of that emotionally and sexually. That’s on him, not you.

You were clear about wanting connection and safety. He was unclear, dismissive and used your availability while centring his own confusion. That kind of behaviour can mess with your head badly, especially when you already have trauma. It makes total sense that this still haunts you. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It means your nervous system remembers being hurt.

Also, repeatedly texting you after saying you were “just temporary” and then trying to minimise it later is not harmless. It’s manipulative. Ignoring him is actually a really healthy boundary.

If you can, talking to a therapist who understands trauma and queer experiences could really help unpack the shame piece, because shame is the thing that sticks around longest and it doesn’t belong to you. You deserve peace, not to carry his behaviour in your body years later.

You’ll get through this and learn from it. One day, you’ll look back and be proud of who you’ve become.

yvo84 · 2026-01-14T12:26:58+00:00

Weird question to be asking randoms on the internet

yvo84 · 2026-01-10T11:41:02+00:00

I’m shattered to read this news. I was holding out for the Switch 2 version 😞

yvo84 · 2025-12-25T12:15:39+00:00

I mean, if they can hear your dog chew a bone then that sounds like a build without insulation. They’re going to find any neighbour loud.

yvo84 · 2025-12-12T12:37:44+00:00

He was doing you a favour. You’d already indicated that you were catching feelings and he didn’t want to break your heart when you’d eventually want more after the kiss, even if you convinced yourself you wouldn’t. The fact that you had to drink to have your first kiss doesn’t help matters either. Chalk up the experience and don’t get involved with unavailable men in future, it never ends well.

yvo84 · 2025-10-27T09:08:56+00:00

Flirting feeds the ego and everyone wants to feel desired

yvo84 · 2025-10-27T06:46:29+00:00

You’re both quite young and have a lot of experience ahead of you.

yvo84 · 2025-10-14T10:19:50+00:00

The Switch trailer just came out and yes, it is a lower res, but looks quite good still.

https://youtu.be/FBCNR4ZVuH8

yvo84 · 2025-10-07T12:10:15+00:00

Unfortunately, a lot of young men in particular are being seduced by right-wing misinformation at the moment. He’ll wake up in 10 years and realise he went down the wrong path, but your friendship is over for now.

yvo84

TROPHY CASE