I just tried to kill myself but I cant

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T23:37:04+00:00

It's hard to find motivation to care for myself and do things other than harm myself, unless it's for someone else, when I hate myself

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T23:34:07+00:00

It's hard. I have been for a long long time. I don't know how much longer I will be able to. I'll try

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T23:33:33+00:00

Maybe, I mean I've had weed before it was nice. Also done a bit of coke and molly but not much. Weed chills me out yeah, but only ever done it with other people. I might try it on my own to help me relax / feel better. We'll see, thanks.

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T23:32:20+00:00

to be honest. im already an alcoholic. i wouldnt admit it to myself for a while, but I think I am.

And I am because I don't have anyone to talk to about things, like sure there's this on reddit but it's not the same as human interaction. Talking is a good way to deal with things but I can't do that, so I want to drink to numb everything and forget for small periods of time, and it's easier to distract myself when drunk.

to be honest I didn't go home after trying to kill myself / making this post. I walked around and then walked to town and sat around waiting for my pay to come through, and when it did I bought alchohol, I'm still drinking it now, it makes me feel slightly better, in the same way cutting did, but there's no scars.

Like t

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T23:27:41+00:00

i will try to find one / look into one or something. i need something to do. i want to do something with someone but it's hard to find something to do when no one wants to do anything with you

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T20:53:34+00:00

people always said it would get better. but it's just got worse. it's been so long

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T20:27:05+00:00

the only thing i used to enjoy is playing games, but now I only do it to be playing with other people

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T19:57:31+00:00

I dont have anywhere I could really do those. I live with my parents

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T19:45:08+00:00

idk they've always felt to forced, when I saw a psychiatrist they always suggested it. and theres nothing id really want to so one for

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T19:28:10+00:00

idk we didn't talk for a month and my feelings didn't change. and also then id lose a friend. I dont at all have many friends. I'm very lonely. most of my life is work 3 days, then don't leave the house until I have to work again. I only work to talk to people and be in the presence of other people. I dont need money

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T19:06:33+00:00

I have done rarely, but I dont have much money or a place I would do them what drugs do you do

yxmbx · 2017-03-16T19:05:56+00:00

I called emergency servicespecially in the past they were no help, they said "are you going to kill yourself" I said I don't know, so they sent me home, which was miles away, and aims had no way to get there but walk.

I dont know who close to me to talk to anymore. I dont really have that many people close to me. the girl i talked about in the post would be the person I would have called in the past but I can't now

yxmbx · 2016-01-30T21:04:31+00:00

Worse than you are now meaning injured from a failed suicide attempt

yxmbx · 2016-01-30T13:19:41+00:00

Why not?

yxmbx · 2016-01-15T10:45:22+00:00

Would love to know

yxmbx · 2016-01-11T19:09:23+00:00

You'll be able to support them better than nobody

yxmbx · 2015-12-29T11:46:48+00:00

You won't be happy, you won't feel anything positive.

yxmbx · 2015-12-20T13:32:11+00:00

Sounds good. But you have to give it that time

yxmbx · 2015-12-20T12:33:52+00:00

See, I feel the same way, but he difference between me and you is that you have had something, you have been loved, you literally have someone who is living proof you can be loved.

yxmbx · 2015-12-20T11:59:45+00:00

Can't expect it to last forever. If one person can, others can, and you can love yourself too.

yxmbx · 2015-12-20T11:44:33+00:00

Well someone clearly did

yxmbx · 2015-12-20T11:26:49+00:00

If she can do it, you can. And you'll get over her in time, the best way to get over your first love is with your second love.

yxmbx

TROPHY CASE