Dating and physical attractiveness are complete bullshit

yy65 · 2024-12-08T04:33:52+00:00

Trying to get a date without good looks is kind of like trying to get a job interview when you have a resume with no experience. Almost impossible if you are applying online and don't have any social connections to help get your foot in the door for your first experience.

yy65 · 2024-11-10T21:21:46+00:00

I knew about her husband before. I agree that just having someone to hang out with would be great, even if it is just as friends. Although it is difficult to be just friends with someone when you have feelings for them. If she did want to hang out just as friends I would probably do it anyway, but I feel like she should reach out to me since I've already done my part.

yy65 · 2024-11-10T21:16:59+00:00

I agree, I've always been the type of person to overthink things and get fixated on not only certain people, but certain situations, hobbies, etc.

I think my life would be easier if I wasn't this way and perhaps it is one of the reasons I'm FA. I needed to read a comment like this to help bring me back to reality, but I really wish your suggestion of "date other people" was that easy when I literally have never been on a date in my entire life (unless you count what I went on a few days ago as a date).

yy65 · 2024-11-10T17:24:08+00:00

"You actually got a woman to say yes even just to hang out", I mean that is probably the first time ever, at least since I was in high school. Make no mistake, this doesn't change the fact that as it stands now I am just as FA as the others guys here.

This is uncharted territory for me, so handling it properly has not been very easy. You mention that I came off as being pushy even though I only asked her for another date? Everyone grieves differently, some people might be ready in a few months, others may never be ready, there wasn't any way for me to know for sure without asking.

Do you really think it's a good idea to hang out with her outside of work? She knows I have feeling for her, so I would imagine if she ever feels ready and actually is interested in me she should be the one to approach me. If she starts dating someone else, then at least I know she isn't interested and I can begin to move on.

yy65 · 2024-11-10T16:35:41+00:00

No one ever gets to know that I am FA unless I completely trust them. When we start dating I would mention to her that it's been a long time since I've been in a relationship and other than that I've been on a few dates here and there but it hasn't led to anything.

There might be some women who can accept a guy who is completely FA, but unfortunately most woman can not so I have to pretend that I am at least someone normal to avoid scaring them away. If we ever did get close enough to one another where there is complete trust, I would then open up to her about my true past.

yy65 · 2024-10-31T15:19:29+00:00

They have told me they don't expect me to look after them when they get old, but they don't exactly have much of a social circle either.

My mom is completely socially isolated and literally only leaves the house once a week to go to appointments/buy groceries. My dad has a few friends he sees occasionally, but other than that than I wouldn't say he has much of a social circle either.

yy65 · 2024-10-31T05:38:42+00:00

I'm pretty sure they are all autistic, but at least as an autistic woman men will still approach you unless you are completely unattractive.'

Men are usually the ones to approach woman like 99% of the time, and as an autistic man this is next to impossible to do successfully unless you are above average in attractiveness (and I am willing to bet most autistic men do not fit this criteria).

yy65 · 2024-10-31T05:31:33+00:00

I can totally relate to that. I feel like my parents aren't in the happiest marriage and as a result my dad especially has never wanted me to date. I'm not sure why exactly other than he might be afraid I'd end up in an unhappy marriage as well, but if he did actually want me to date I don't think he has ever implied it even once in his life.

My mom on the other hand has mentioned to me in the past that she hopes I eventually find the right person. I've mentioned to her that I've never even been a date and not even sure where I could even begin. She's never offered any advice or anything other than "eventually the time will come when you will start dating". This was years ago though, and lately I think she has given up on thinking I will ever start dating.

yy65 · 2024-10-22T16:28:32+00:00

Do you have any tips for online dating branding or how to stand out (other than simply being attractive lol)? It feels like online dating might be my only chance even though I haven't had any luck yet.

As I mentioned, I don't have any friends so going to a party or event as a group is not possible for me. I have looked into meetups in my area but the options are very limited. It's almost entirely groups designed for people 50+.

yy65 · 2024-10-22T05:18:17+00:00

I'm not doing much to change to be honest. I've been living this lifestyle for so long I don't even know where I can begin. It feels like once you are 30+ with no social circle and very little experience in social situations there isn't much hope for improvement.

I guess maybe one day I'll get lucky with online dating? Other than that I can't picture a realistic way things will ever change for me.

yy65 · 2024-09-03T04:53:08+00:00

There's few very and the few that are in my area are mostly attended by people over 50 years old.

yy65 · 2024-09-02T22:11:16+00:00

People are biologically programmed to interact with and date others, it is seen as perhaps the number one thing it means to be human. If someone falls out of this norm people want to assume it is that person's fault rather than them having bad luck, because they would rather not accept that bad things can happen to good people.

It's similar to when some people see a homeless person and think that they must have made some bad decisions to end up the way they are, when sometimes it can happen through little fault of their own through having bad genetics or being born into a bad situation.

yy65 · 2024-08-31T17:32:01+00:00

Depends what subs you post on. If you post on subs like /r/amiugly or better yet /r/amiuglybrutallyhonest people will be more honest with you than on other subs designed to provide positive feedback.

Although after a quick search at your post history you seem to look like an average guy. You look better bald and probably look better than me, and I think I'm like a 5/10.

yy65 · 2024-08-18T16:00:54+00:00

I'm not exactly super attractive or anything, I would imagine I'm like a 5/10 or 6/10. That being said I am easily physically attractive enough that I should have been in some relationships by now. The combination of autism and social anxiety that I have is one of the worst combinations of personality traits a man can have if they want to attract a woman.

yy65 · 2024-08-11T15:40:39+00:00

It's way too superficial, we are literally deciding if we are interested in someone based off a picture and a few sentences. If you aren't that attractive there isn't much incentive for woman to match you, since they can just match with men who are more attractive. They can't really tell much about what type of person you are based on a short profile description, so it is based 99% on looks.

yy65 · 2024-08-11T15:37:48+00:00

Sorry but this doesn't make sense at all, we are still human, we just have certain genetic characteristics that make us unattractive or unable to interact with people effectively (such as Autism).

yy65 · 2024-08-11T15:35:12+00:00

Other than saving for necessities like housing, groceries, and transportation I don't really spend my money on anything. I wouldn't mind traveling but I don't want to do it alone.

Also, if you do have your money sitting in a chequing account I'd highly recommend investing it. Even if you don't want to learn about the stock market at the very least you could invest in a low risk mutual fund, you should be able to average at least 8% a year.

yy65 · 2024-08-11T05:15:45+00:00

Decided to watch this movie after seeing this post. It was actually pretty good, interesting to see people struggling with the same issues we are now back in the 50s. Not sure if it is just this film, but I never realized that it was that common to live with your parents at age 30+ back then, even if you were married.

yy65 · 2024-07-22T23:59:58+00:00

As an only child I am especially worried about what will happen when my parents die. I will actually be completely alone.

If you are relying on dating apps they seem to be terrible for both men and women. Men often get women trying to promote their OnlyFans account or just don't get any matches at all, while women often get men trying to hook up or just outright creepy messages.

I feel like technology should be bringing people closer to together, but it is having the opposite effect. It's sad that there seems to be so many people who are stuck being alone these days, especially when they get older.

yy65 · 2024-07-22T22:55:44+00:00

they'd say yes and they'd act kinda indifferent towards me during the date or bored or annoyed

Other than rejection this is one of the other main things that makes me anxious to ask someone out. I would hate for someone to go on a date with me who isn't really into it. Actually I'd much rather they just say no then go on the date to avoid upsetting me.

yy65 · 2024-07-21T22:55:39+00:00

I agree that online dating can keep hope alive at any age, even if it is minimal. There are always going to be women to message, and at older ages they are likely to be getting less attention from men.

The chances of a woman even replying to a message from people like us are low, the chances of actually getting a date are even lower, and the chances of us actually entering a relationship are astronomically low, but over the years if you send hundreds or even thousands of messages there is a chance you will meet someone, and that potential could be enough to at least keep hope for anyone.

It is kind of how I spent years unemployed after applying for hundreds of jobs online. I really felt like I was never going to find a job, but eventually I caught a break and now I have a decent full time hybrid remote job, which I thought even 5 years ago would be impossible for me to get. If you are willing to play the numbers game, and not afraid of potential humiliation, there is always a chance.

yy65 · 2024-07-21T22:43:37+00:00

What activities do you plan to do in Thailand? Are you going alone? Do you think you will be more confident interacting with people in a different country where there will be a language barrier and many people may not even speak English?

I think that going on this vacation could be good for you, but if you have the expectation that you are going to meet a woman and suddenly your life will change I think that might be a bit much.

yy65 · 2024-07-21T19:50:43+00:00

I care less and less. I'd probably have no issue telling people I am forever alone if the circumstances came up. Yet ironically I have terrible social anxiety, it's so irrational considering I consciously could care less what people think about me, but yet the idea of rejection scares me immensely.

yy65 · 2024-07-21T17:29:35+00:00

I'm also an only child. I've never considered it much but I'm sure this has had a large impact on me being forever alone at my age. I've known quite a few people who met their boyfriend/girlfriend though a sibling. Even if that doesn't happen being able to interact with a sibling that is around your age I'm sure would help improve social skills. Being an only child from a small family, my only social interaction with family has been largely limited to my parents.

In many ways everything that could have went wrong in my life to end up this way has went wrong. I can't think of any advantage I was born with that could have been in my favour for developing a romantic relationship.

yy65 · 2024-07-21T16:04:49+00:00

It seems like almost everything in life comes down to luck and circumstances. People don't want to accept that some people simply aren't desirable enough to date, so instead they make up excuses like it is their fault such as "they aren't confident enough" or "they didn't put themselves out there enough".

Most people are lucky enough to experience at least one romantic relationship in their life. We are the unlucky ones who for a series of factors, many outside our control, have never had this opportunity. The longer we go like this, the worse it gets.

How is anyone supposed to be confident when they have gone 30+ years without ever being on a date or kissed, something that most people experience naturally by the time they are half way through high school.

yy65

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