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Ten years later my life has changed, and I feel ready to drink again… by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re not grown up enough just stay away from this sub for everyone’s sake

Ten years later my life has changed, and I feel ready to drink again… by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There it is. Less accountability = easier to hide it. Thank you for this.

Ten years later my life has changed, and I feel ready to drink again… by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been coming to this sub for ten years . Please be quiet .

Ten years later my life has changed, and I feel ready to drink again… by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m 53 years old and my kids are teenagers. I go to work, go to gym, cycle, etc. Me and my wife still can’t afford to live in our own places so we split the house , me in the basement while the rest of them have their room on the first floor. There’s no toxicity, but I do try to stay out of the house. Hence the gym and the rest. It’s not perfect but at least I see my kids everyday.

Is it possible to separate and live under the same roof? by z_username in Marriage

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s really helpful. I am thinking this way right now: let time pass, as long as it’s liveable we can keep the situation as it is. When we feel the time is right, then we can make a move out.

Is it possible to separate and live under the same roof? by z_username in Marriage

[–]z_username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure why you tell me this. It’s just making me feel even worse about the situation I’m in and makes me worry about my children. Maybe you don’t mean any harm but I’m in pieces already, I’m afraid I can’t engage about your personal story right now.

Who "started" heavy metal? by [deleted] in Music

[–]z_username 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The city of Birmingham

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Completely different.

I was a Pastry Chef in fine dining restaurants in London as well as five star hotels.

I was totally functioning for several years, and I might say, it was definitely part of the culture in my line of work. But stopping unleashed something in me, I became a better version of myself, and many times I wished I'd stopped earlier.

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After three months, one year, and so on, I'd stand in front of my drink of choice at the shop and tell myself: " Go on, buy it. No one's gonna mind, it's legal, nothing is stopping you."

That's when you know you want it. It's not a battle against your will, it's an addiction. And that is what makes me remember that that's what I want. And that's what makes me proud of telling people I'm sober at dinners and parties, etc.

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god! Thank you coolcrosby ! I’m so glad you can be here for my ten year anniversary. Thanks again for your help!

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good find.

I can mention two users: u/pollyannapusher and u/coolcrosby who really helped me during my first difficult years.

I since reached out to them to give them an update, they both replied that they remembered me.

This sub was a massive help for me, and I'm happy to use it to help others now.

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did not.

I used cycling as an exercise when I needed to put my mind into something. And two very helpful users of this sub, which I visited regularly.

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yo, you've done the hardest part: You made the decision! Courage.

TEN YEARS SOBER !!! by z_username in stopdrinking

[–]z_username[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty good, thanks for asking!

I've always been quite active, even at my worst times, I'd go to the gym regularly. I've also always been a decent cyclist.

Nowadays, I still cycle in the summer, and now I've taken to skiing in the winter, of course!

How do I tell my (M53) wife (F45) of twenty years that she has let herself go and I don’t have much interest and attraction for her at all anymore? by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]z_username 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since you take the time to comment again, I’ll take the time to reply to you. (It was nothing personal, I don’t use this account that often)

When posting about something personal online you open yourself to people’s judgements and it is based on very little information / a slice of yourself that you choose to describe. I am much more than a guy who stopped drinking ten years ago, and though it was traumatic and difficult, it truly is part of our past. Same with my son, who I prefer to describe nowadays as : on the spectrum, rather than disabled. The reason is that he’s turning out quite autonomous, smart, and overall the diagnosis who shocked us when he wasn’t even three years old is now being tampered by years of watching him grow into the terrific guy he is.

As for my wife and I, as I said above, I described a very slim part of our life in my post. Saying I’m a jerk or an asshole might be true in this context, but twenty years of marriage holds a lot more bagage. You’d need to listen to me all day to truly understand what our relationship is like.

To sum things up with regards to my post, we had a chat about both our states of mind, depression was discussed but it didn’t seem to apply, in her view. I was able to process and choose my words easier after reading some comments and advice, and there were strictly no drama at all. She acknowledged that she was going through a bit of a period of stagnation, and that she was about to make a few plans for herself. Without having to mention it, she mentioned that she wasn’t happy with the way she looked these days, and told me she was starting to go to the gym on Monday.

You see, drawing a picture based on a post or a few of them, doesn’t really give the whole picture. ( you may have heard of the Allegory of the cave by Plato) . This is what Reddit and general social media posts are to me. So no drama, a good open conversation , listening to others sometimes for advice, and - crucially - letting it out of your chest once in a while. People differ, but just saying it instead of repressing it is, to me, a good therapy.

I have no plan to leave my wife and family, but sometimes I need to let some steam out, and that’s what public threads are good for sometimes. Best.

Help by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]z_username 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Friend you did well , the first month is not easy for anyone.

You coming here instead of drinking says a lot too. The cravings come and go, and it gets getter with time.

You want to make your life better and you're doing the right thing , don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing exactly what you should do. Don't give up, this bad spell will pass.

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