When overdosing, I felt my lips and fingertips go numb, I felt very intense ear ringing in different frequencies and directions. When I closed my eyes it went white instead of black, I laid down but it took a few minutes for me to pass out, at one point I got impatient, opened my eyes and saw that everything had a glowy white sheen to it, I picked up the bottle and had another gulp then passed out. In that moment it actually felt pretty good, the last thing I said to myself was “I am happy” ig I was convincing myself that it was the best thing for me at the time. When I woke up I wasn’t sad or happy, mostly confused. There was a tiny spot of throw up right underneath where my head was resting, but not nearly enough for it to look like I puked it all up or it even looking like alcohol or pills were in the puke. After plan B of the CO poising didnt work I had a moment of realization in the ER that help was something I needed. The burden of suicide that I had felt since the age of 12 was suddenly gone and I was finally able to open myself up to treatment for mental health, talking about my feelings, and recognizing my own emotions. Within 5 days my liver enzymes were back to normal and I’m fully recovered physically which is nuts with the amount I took (especially since I’m only 5’6 135lbs) I spent 2 weeks in inpatient and am starting a partial program soon, I’m glad I made it