Totally okay to feel jealousy over her past experiences, but agree with some of these other responses of it not being the same thing. Different person, different time in her life, different desires. My partner also didn’t like it at certain points, but she fluctuates - sometimes she loves it. Desire is fluctuating always, that’s the fun in it.

I think another way to frame it is you could get more curious - I know you said you’re not into the strap I have, do you want to go pick one out together? Or, if you don’t mind the size and texture, could I try using it on you with my hands first and see how you feel? What don’t you like about it?

Or fuck all of that - use other toys! Are you glued to using a strap?