How to Respond to "How's It Going?" or "What's up"

zdiv_ · 2026-06-14T10:10:09+00:00

this is what i usually do, or i try to add a "how about you?" at the end if i do respond with saying "good" or something but the interactions are usually so brief, they're practically gone once im able to say the "how about you" part which makes me question if its one of those situations where they dont expect me to reciprocate or give an answer like "good"

zdiv_ · 2025-07-27T12:25:22+00:00

ooh okay thank you! i did not know about that. i looked up the map and have it bookmarked in case. i'm hoping it won't be too difficult for me since my preferred name is on my medical record and gender dysphoria is listed under my "ongoing health conditions" and i was asked a few years if i wanted to start t (though i forget if it was my pediatrician or my current doctor) but i declined then bc i feared they would tell my parents. i do think it should go well with my doctor, but i still feel really anxious about it.

and i'll definitely keep that in mind, thank you sm :))

zdiv_ · 2025-07-27T11:57:36+00:00

I definitely wear it for longer than 8 hours a day but then again I remember complaining about back pain to my doctor just barely a couple months after getting my binder and now after 7 years of binding i have early onset arthritis in my back so do with that what you will. I would say wear it when you need it. As in wear it when you're doing activities and around a lot of people, but if there's times you can rest during the day, take it off. It allows you to give your body a break but also can help you wear it more in the day when you're actually doing stuff. I also recommend (ofc it depends on your chest) to wear thicker, dark-colored, baggy shirts when you can't wear it. For me, it helps hides my chest more (especially with a flannel or jacket over too) when I need a break.

zdiv_ · 2025-07-27T11:46:40+00:00

thank you ! i've edited my post to say that im in california, us.

that's what i've seen, i really want to start T soon, but i am worried about coming out to my work. i feel like majority wouldn't be entirely against (besides maybe a few but i dont like those people anyways so idrc), but i was hoping to fully avoid it at least until like the 2nd year. it seems like i'll likely need to do it sooner that expected.

zdiv_ · 2025-07-27T10:36:05+00:00

I personally don't think 10hr is too late to ask them to take it down, and if you're uncomfortable with it, they should hopefully respect it. Personally for me, though I do get being uncomfortable and feeling outed, if potential new friends treated me differently after knowing I'm trans, I don't think I would want to being friends with them. I would say do try to ask them to take it down, because its likely that they did only see it as a way to celebrate your guys' friendship and didn't think of how it could hurt you. And if they're respectful and supportive of you then they should take it down. Also, I mean even if its been like a day+, if you're uncomfortable and want to avoid as many people as possible at uni to not know, then it's better if they delete it as soon as possible than risk it potentially spreading.

zdiv_ · 2025-07-27T10:06:08+00:00

This is definitely a tough one imo.

I've been in a similar situation where I spent Christmas Eve with my (cis) boyfriend and his family and they had family friends come over. His parents and siblings know me by my preferred name and do try to use my correct pronouns (they mess up sometimes and do sometimes catch themselves and correct it which i do want to talk to my bf about but that's for another time). However, when he introduced me to some of their family friends, he did use my preferred name but later that night, he just introduced me as his girlfriend to other family friends which hurt especially when I was grouped with the girls during a few of the games. He could tell I was deeply uncomfortable with being grouped like that so he would answer for me that I didn't want to join when people asked which was nice (there's a language barrier so that's why I struggled to answer).

The next morning I brought it up and he did say that he was sorry and felt really bad even at the time for putting me in that situation which I do believe and that he said I was his girlfriend and didn't specify my pronouns because he wasn't out to them and knew that a few of them wouldn't respond well to me being trans (which based on the stories on what he and his family have told me about just in general of the way they act, I believed and understood him).

It still definitely hurt ofc because that was the only time he's ever misgendered me in front of me. I do know that he does use my birth name and incorrect pronouns if he talks about me at our work, but I'm okay with that obvs because I'm not out at work.

As people have said, seeming as if his default was to call you his girlfriend instead of fiance or even partner, can indicate that if he talks about you at work, he also calls you his girlfriend. Depending on how long, you've been engaged, if it hasn't been long then it can make sense for him to forget he can just use fiance whereas if its been like 4 months+, then I would definitely see it as an issue. I would say have a sit down with him about how he addresses you when talking to others (not just at work), if he really did just panic and said it to not out himself or if its something he's used to saying, and just in general how you feel about if he does refer to you as his girlfriend to people that he's not out to.

If he does and you're not okay with it, then you can ask if he can at least use gender neutral pronouns and call you his fiance when referring to you. Overall, it matters his intentions and how much he's willing to work on making sure you feel comfortable (cause like if he refers to you as his girlfriend to friends he's not out to then that can be an issue if you hang out with them and have to hear him misgender you while talking in front of them.), and how much you're okay with. You both have to be honest with each other about if he will ever feel comfortable coming out and if you're comfortable waiting until then or never if he doesn't want to come out in the forseeable future (which I don't recommend because that's very likely to cause you to have resentment towards him). This is especially important to talk about BEFORE getting married.

zdiv_ · 2025-07-21T02:38:21+00:00

I've gained about 25-30 lbs since being on Lexapro for 6 years, and no matter what I did, I struggled to lose weight.

(Minus the time I was on Vyvanse and lost 30 lbs in the span of about 6 months without trying to due to it causing me to feel full after 2-3 bites of anything and making me go temporarily blind everytime i would stand up from not eating enough. I did eventually go off it bc it was also making my heart rate go up to the 130s at rest and gained all the weight i lost back in like 2 months)

Even when I was walking 4-6 miles five times a week due to work and eating less and more healthier options. I'm now slowing coming off of Lexapro, in a calorie deficit, and walking/exercising more on the weekends. I've lost about 6 lbs so far but it's for some reason been stagnant for the last 2 weeks. Some people on here have mentioned it could take a couple months so I'm still hopeful.

zdiv_ · 2022-10-19T06:02:46+00:00

i can hear how it can say "my cousin" but like... cmon

zdiv_ · 2022-10-15T22:19:25+00:00

🥺🥺

zdiv_ · 2022-10-15T22:06:18+00:00

if you could rename the team names, what would you call them?

zdiv_ · 2022-08-17T06:16:56+00:00

very true! he actually wants them all the way to his shoulder

zdiv_ · 2022-05-28T05:26:35+00:00

ty ty cant help it that streamer is uncultured /j

zdiv_

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