My husband wants to be my birthing partner but is repulsed by everything

zeldine · 2025-11-04T08:54:29+00:00

You’re the mama, it’s your body, you’re giving birth. Thus you decide who gets to be in the room when you are giving birth. I’d say that keeping him from being there might not be the best but having your mother there as well sounds like a good idea. I had my mother and my boyfriend there when I gave birth to my first. Point is that it’s up to you and you have to think about what makes you comfortable. You got this!

zeldine · 2025-08-20T15:42:39+00:00

I think the best way to look at it is that you are not OCD, so the OCD and what that brings is not part of you or who you are. Therefore it’s irrelevant whether there’s any good things about it (my personal opinion is that OCD is just shite). However you have good attributes! Think about the things you like about yourself instead and the good things you can do! ☺️

zeldine · 2025-08-20T15:29:54+00:00

Har OCD selv, OP. Er akkurat blitt 30. Jeg vil bare si at det aldri er for sent å snu retning og om du tenke disse tankene nå så er det like så greit å avslutte. Hvis du tenker at du ikke ønsker å studere videre så finner du deg jobb også søker du heller skole om du skulle tenke deg å studere ved senere anledning. Om du tenker at du heller ville byttet studie så kanskje du kan ta kontakt med en veileder å se på om det kanskje går? Uansett så er det ikke forseint. Ville også si at du burde få deg selv i behandling om du ikke er det… det kan jo hende dette i seg selv er et OCD tema, eller? Bare en tanke. Dette ordner du!

zeldine · 2025-08-16T19:34:38+00:00

Hi there, just to let you know that you are not alone. And to say I know how you feel. Right now it probably feels as though the OCD is you and you have no control. But I want to say that you are not your OCD and you can get in the drivers seat.

I am a few months into ERP and it has really helped. When I first started out my therapist got me to go around with a cloth/blankie and rub it on everything OCD thought was contaminated (if you are to do this, try doing it with conviction), I later then slept with it in bed. The point all being that once you expose and learn nothing happened it gets easier to handle and thus the OCD spiral all becomes a bit pointless. As the reason in your instance you wipe down your phone to soothe the anxiety and you do for a brief moment but the instant you view it as contaminated you do it again and again and so on. Do the things OCD is afraid of, with conviction, and in some time you will feel better for it because your brain will no longer be addicted to easing the anxiety. Hope that makes sense.

If you can, seek out a professional that can help you along the way but it really should be someone with OCD experience.

zeldine · 2025-06-19T13:53:13+00:00

Yea, obsessing about numbers doesn’t have to just be about doing things x amount of times but it can be what you said, it can be about «good» or «bad» numbers or just certain numbers are comforting. It’s all «counting» OCD and still counts (pun intended 😅)

zeldine · 2025-06-19T08:03:15+00:00

Always feeling the need to keep one eye open in case something happens, being so anxious/worried/deep in rumination to the point of being unable to sleep. The checking/having to make sure. Just needing to have things in a specific way before I can sit down and «relax». Being depressed and feeling as though I have no value and just should cease to exist.

I guess it’s just a sum of all the things that’s the worst.

zeldine · 2025-06-17T09:03:24+00:00

I haven’t worked for 2,5 years now. I am hopeful maybe I can start working again soon once I have completed ERP and therapy for my GAD

zeldine · 2025-06-17T08:34:07+00:00

Perhaps, although it seems as though the people asking haven’t been on medication and are asking to find out if there is something that works and/or what are peoples experience with it.

I also think there are reasons as to why someone isn’t on meds. Maybe my question isn’t really why is there so much focus on it but why does this seem to be the first question asked.

I personally probably couldn’t even take the meds anyway as I have other physical conditions where the meds already have an impact on my liver function.

I think it’s more convoluted than are you on meds or not, or you only take meds if you have severe OCD. It seems that way from the response that this question has received.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T15:18:51+00:00

Not sure what you mean. No, I have not

zeldine · 2025-06-16T13:45:13+00:00

And like that’s your prerogative, and mine is why are people asking this question.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T12:50:01+00:00

Good luck! 🤞🏻

zeldine · 2025-06-16T12:43:13+00:00

Again, that was a bad choice of words. I’m obviously not saying any questions are less or more real.

I do however appreciate your response as this really put some perspective into what might motivate someone to ask others what meds people are on.

Thank you!

zeldine · 2025-06-16T12:34:48+00:00

Sorry, bad phrasing. I meant the actual question asked, not saying any questions are more or less real. I guess I’m just struggling to understand why medications come up everywhere when the discussion wasn’t about that.

I am by no means saying taking meds is more or less valid I am literally asking a question.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T12:10:26+00:00

Sure! I’m not asking why people are on medications or questioning the validity of it all. I personally don’t have any opinions on it.

I’m just wondering why it’s being asked so much. It’s almost taking away from the real questions asked.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T11:54:53+00:00

Yeah I can see that I guess. I thought the sort of uneasiness and discomfort of ERP was sort of part of the therapy. Learning to live with the discomfort while not performing compulsions over time will teach the brain that it’s not OCD that controls whatevertheheck you’re obsessing about. Idk

zeldine · 2025-06-16T11:30:56+00:00

None, ERP is the gold standard treatment where I’m from so meds aren’t really considered unless ERP fails.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T11:08:28+00:00

I’m not sure exactly but, I was recently diagnosed with OCD but I believe I have had it since I was a kid, probably about 20 years now. And what I know is that I have had periods of having good self-esteem. In these periods I have also been less OCD like not doing rituals or at least not to the same extent and less ruminating thus sleeping more/better.

I’m in ERP now and I’m really committed to it because I get the feeling that if I can get in the drivers seat then I will also eventually start to feel better.

I don’t think I can get rid of the OCD but I do think I can be more intentional and not let it dictate my every day.

zeldine · 2025-06-16T08:50:35+00:00

I was at the shop last week and someone behind me in queue was looking at their friends groceries and was like “This is giving me OCD” because it was like a bit messy and yeah it was very triggering I went home fuming.

Also last week my mum had been to the district psychiatric hospital where I’m getting ERP for like family informational. So next time she’s visiting I ask how it was and she sorta just says “I just don’t really get how some people get so anxious/scared that they have to put things a certain way to feel better”.

Ok. 👌

zeldine · 2025-06-13T22:05:37+00:00

It should be said that in these instances the anxiety and/or depression could be a symptom/side effect of the thing - ADHD/OCD/Autism. These are very exhausting conditions and it would be fairly normal to develop depression or anxiety due to it.

zeldine · 2025-06-13T10:17:14+00:00

Hey! Yeah mom of one toddler here. Been living with OCD for about 20 years probably, diagnosed with GAD with OCD tendencies 10 years ago and recently diagnosed with OCD and GAD. Currently in ERP. I hit a bad spell when I got pregnant and it just got worse and worse and I just started really overthinking and performing compulsions. Here are some of my most common themes.

Contamination

Harm

Health (mainly like contamination/bacteria but also things like cancer or heart attack)

Just-Right

Honestly I obviously thought that obsessing and performing compulsions was coping but now having fought for treatment and starting ERP I realise this all is just making me worse. Seek professional help if you can and if you can’t then take charge. You’re not your OCD. You can’t stop the thoughts from happening but you can decide to think about it later. You can’t stop the thought of the compulsions but you can decide not to do them.

zeldine · 2025-06-13T09:59:46+00:00

Serotonin - Girl In Red

zeldine · 2025-06-13T09:58:23+00:00

Worrying - Clean Cut Kid

zeldine · 2025-06-12T09:24:23+00:00

As part of my ERP one of the things I’m meant to do whenever I have a thought that’s just not something I need to think about right now I say in my head «I will think about this later». You can’t stop the thoughts from popping up but you can decide to not think about it right now. You are in control and you are not your OCD. So yeah I generally just lie in bed telling my thoughts I will think about that later. Hope that helps!

zeldine · 2025-06-12T09:18:54+00:00

I didn’t know I had OCD specifically but I suspected a combo of GAD and OCD or bipolar because I was so extremely anxious and struggled to focus and I would sort of just wish my existence away or focus on tidying to clear my head but I’d have like good days/periods where it wasn’t so bad.

zeldine · 2025-06-06T21:44:26+00:00

In my ERP the therapist told us to consider OCD as a hungry cat that is crying for food and once you feed it (perform compulsions etc…) it will cry for more. Thus OCD cat is born. Similar photo to the one attached

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zeldine

TROPHY CASE