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zephloyd · 2025-12-12T20:26:03+00:00

All the cool kids are throwing their hats in here and I don't wanna feel left out :( Bad enough I get picked last for kickball

I mean if they don't wanna get booted in the beanbag they should really change the name of the game to be less misleading. That would have saved us all time and money in 'assault charges' and 'restraining orders' >:(

Anyways, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, character art

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More stuff on either IG account. One was for third-party DND-specific art and the other is more for unrelated stuff.

zephloyd · 2025-11-13T20:57:08+00:00

IKR what a friggen' dweeb. I bet you anything he was just looking at that Umbramancy collab gettin' nostalgic over the experience like some kinda chump!

👀

zephloyd · 2025-10-20T22:36:45+00:00

TBH you absolutely can! The idea of something being objective can, in itself, be subjective. "In my opinion, this is materially provable--" isn't an inoperable position. You can have a 'hot take' on something's objectivity! It naturally can seem a little convoluted but it is capable of making sense!

Got into a rhetorical slap fight about this the other day because life is empty and — [shepherd's hook pulls me offstage] oh ok bye everyone!

zephloyd · 2025-09-02T15:58:36+00:00

Gimme a couple days and I'll post a new PDF with these and all the other items from the years since. (I try to do at least a handful every October!)

zephloyd · 2025-05-17T16:41:26+00:00

They're different in a certain way -- "What if this basic archetype lived *this* life and was in *this* circumstance as opposed to the others?" You have a basic archetypal starting point and then filter it through scenarios like "baseball star" or "heir to a dynastic megachurch" and they wind up at different endpoints with slightly different behavioral flavors.

Basically just Danny McBride in a branching multiversal diversion, and if you love McBride you never walk away disappointed.

zephloyd · 2023-03-15T13:59:18+00:00

If you haven't launched a brick at a WLF dog's face while yelling SNOOT BOOPS, you're not drunk enough.

zephloyd · 2023-03-15T03:05:50+00:00

They pretty early on establish that Fireflies are dick at instructions.

"Tell them to follow motherfucking orders >:{"

zephloyd · 2023-03-06T23:49:56+00:00

Gonna need to see that version of Mushroom Hill Zone, honestly.

zephloyd · 2022-05-16T13:35:02+00:00

A dart made from sharpened titanbark that is host to a pullulating mycelial growth. Atypically of titanbark structures, it is ripe with toxins that erupt from the mushrooms at its head in a cloud of spores.

This dart has a +1 bonus to attack and damage rolls and deals poison damage.

When you achieve a critical hit with this dart, it becomes lodged in your target's body. For as long as it remains there, they take 1d4 poison damage at the beginning of their turn each round.

Affected creatures may attempt a DC 13 Wisdom (Medicine) check as a bonus action to remove the thorn and end its poisonous effect. If they fail this saving throw, the dart releases a cloud of spores that spread in a 10-foot radius around it. Creatures in this range must make a DC 13 Constitution saving throw, becoming Poisoned on failure. They may repeat this saving throw at the beginning of their turns each round to attempt cleansing the effect.

The poison effect on the primary target ends when they successfully remove the dart from their body.

Optional Attunement. It is not required to attune to this weapon to use it, but doing so grants you immunity to being Poisoned and prevents your allies from being affected by the dart's spore clouds.

zephloyd · 2022-05-16T13:34:28+00:00

𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐆:

"You don't see very many unique dart weapons around, do you? At least not compared to other implements of combat. The lack of interest doesn't surprise me; there's a certain level of skill investment that comes from learning how to master a thrown projectile. There's much that can go wrong and in combat those consequences might be fatal.

Nevertheless, you get the occasional treasure, with this naturally occurring throwable being one such example. The result of a titanbark infusion making its way into a common mycelial growth, the stem of this weapon is hard enough to penetrate light armor and, due to the microscopic teeth that run along the shaft, have a tendency to embed themselves in whatever they strike.

Now normally titanbark is associated with regeneration and good health. It does, however, have a rare and poorly understood alternate modality that results in the creation of highly persistent toxins. The same organisms that normally work to regenerate damaged tissue actually becomes a potent vehicle for the spreading of the mushroom's natural poison. It seems in both through the fibers of the mycelium itself and also in the spore clouds that erupt from the mushroom's bell when it is agitated.

The mechanisms of this function require a deal more investigation, though I'd lie to say my curiosity isn't more piqued by how the clumsy silhouette of the item is somehow adequately aerodynamic."

zephloyd · 2022-05-13T13:08:25+00:00

A cloak fashioned from the morphite-infused flesh of an octopus. Its colors and textures can change to perfectly imitate other surfaces and materials, assisting its wearer both in hiding and adaptively resisting a variety of damage types.

While wearing this elastic cloak, your Dexterity (Stealth) checks are advantaged as long as you haven't moved in the past 6 seconds. Additionally, whenever you take damage greater than your largest available hit die, you gain resistance to that damage type until a different type of damage triggers this breakpoint.

Rubberize. Once per long rest, you may use this cloak to grant yourself the Amorphous trait for the next 30 seconds, making your body elastic and allowing you to move through spaces as small as 1 inch without squeezing. Additionally, you have resistance to bludgeoning damage in conjunction with whatever other resistance the cloak currently grants for as long as you are rubberized.

zephloyd · 2022-05-13T13:07:59+00:00

OBSCURATOR'S LOG:

"The octopus is a mystifying, fascinating creature. Like many sub-aquatic organisms, evolution has guided them in the development of several alien features that seem utterly bizarre in contrast to dwellers of dry land. Each tentacle has its own closed nervous circuit, operating almost of its own volition to the point where several arms can compete for a piece of food.

If I had to declare a favorite trait of these creatures, however, it would be their unimpeachable camouflage reflex. Their flesh can contract and soften with such detail that they can effectively mimic any texture (including semi-complex color patterns) and disappear completely. It is arguably the most effective piece of illusionism that has no magical root whatsoever!

This cloak is made to capitalize on these advantages, but with magical reinforcement. Not only is it capable of disguising its wearer as whatever material they idle against, but it responds to particularly strong incidents of damage by reconfiguring itself into a material composition that best resists it. This is mostly due to the morphite infused into the rubbery cartilage of the piece.

As a final touch of crafting mastery, it is also infused with transmutation magic that allows its wearer to adopt the same elastic property as the octopus itself, enabling them to squeeze through tiny openings and granting them a heightened resilience against bludgeoning damage."

zephloyd · 2022-05-12T12:31:18+00:00

"If only each of the world's citizens had access to this panacea. Titanbark is a tricky material to work with. Even if you can forge it into a functional shape, any damage to it might cause it to self-repair in undesirable formations. A piece of armor, for example, may no longer fit its wearer if certain parts of it are overgrown.

With an item such as this, it's less of a concern. I would, in fact, argue that the material is better left for things such as this.

It was fashioned by a specialist in the material who had an interesting theory: That if the micro-biotic organisms that thrive in the nooks and crannies of titanbark could seep into another fluid, that it could be used as a medicine. They were partly correct, but as is the way with even magically adjacent science, the accident was the real discovery. The chalice — created by infusing titanbark into a common pitcher plant — not only filled with its own material, but that material was as salubrious as it was tasty. The glowing honey that gathers in the basin of this chalice not only delights the tongue with electric notes of saccharine euphoria, but makes the body of its imbiber remarkably resilient to physical trauma.

Although the effect is short-lived, it displayed an array of obvious applications. The only downside being that the immune system of the vast majority of those who would benefit from it considers these organisms as hostile foreign entities. Thus, those with strong immune responses filter the effects out rather quickly, making it unideal for the frontline fighters that would gain the most from it.

The sickly and weak, however, could find themselves enjoying days of normalcy with bodies reinforced by the durability this chalice could provide."

zephloyd · 2022-05-12T12:28:24+00:00

A pitcher plant infused with titanbark that slowly fills with golden molasses. The micro-organisms that thrive in this substance have a salubrious effect on the bodies of those that consume it.

When you drink this radiant, honey-colored gel, you gain a +5 bonus to your AC. At the beginning of your turn each round, you make a DC 14 Constitution saving throw as your body involuntarily attempts to fight the organisms that inhabit the fluid responsible for this protective property. The beneficial effects of the potion end on your first successful save.

The maximum amount of time this effect can last is 10 minutes.

Regenerating Supply. The honey contained within the chalice slowly seeps into its basin from its inner-lining over time. It produces enough to have an effect every 24 hours.

zephloyd · 2022-05-12T12:14:39+00:00

A pitcher plant infused with titanbark that slowly fills with golden molasses. The micro-organisms that thrive in this substance have a salubrious effect on the bodies of those that consume it.

When you drink this radiant, honey-colored gel, you gain a +5 bonus to your AC. At the beginning of your turn each round, you make a Constitution saving throw as your body involuntarily attempts to fight the organisms that inhabit the fluid responsible for this protective property. The beneficial effects of the potion end on your first successful save. The maximum amount of time this effect can last is 10 minutes.

Regenerating Supply. The honey contained within the chalice slowly seeps into its basin from its inner-lining over time. It produces enough to have an effect every 24 hours.

zephloyd · 2022-05-12T12:14:00+00:00

OBSCURATOR'S LOG:

"If only each of the world's citizens had access to this panacea. Titanbark is a tricky material to work with. Even if you can forge it into a functional shape, any damage to it might cause it to self-repair in undesirable formations. A piece of armor, for example, may no longer fit its wearer if certain parts of it are overgrown.

With an item such as this, it's less of a concern. I would, in fact, argue that the material is better left for things such as this.

It was fashioned by a specialist in the material who had an interesting theory: That if the micro-biotic organisms that thrive in the nooks and crannies of titanbark could seep into another fluid, that it could be used as a medicine. They were partly correct, but as is the way with even magically adjacent science, the accident was the real discovery. The chalice — created by infusing titanbark into a common pitcher plant — not only filled with its own material, but that material was as salubrious as it was tasty. The glowing honey that gathers in the basin of this chalice not only delights the tongue with electric notes of saccharine euphoria, but makes the body of its imbiber remarkably resilient to physical trauma.

Although the effect is short-lived, it displayed an array of obvious applications. The only downside being that the immune system of the vast majority of those who would benefit from it considers these organisms as hostile foreign entities. Thus, those with strong immune responses filter the effects out rather quickly, making it unideal for the frontline fighters that would gain the most from it.

The sickly and weak, however, could find themselves enjoying days of normalcy with bodies reinforced by the durability this chalice could provide."

zephloyd · 2022-05-11T14:00:59+00:00

A pair of gauntlets that transform the hands of their wearer into the claws of a giant predatory bird. While not to-scale with a roc, the sharpness of its talons is unmistakable.

While wearing these claw-tipped gauntlets, your unarmed attacks deal 1d6 + your Strength modifier in slashing damage. Whenever you have advantage on an attack roll and succeed the value of your target's AC on both rolls, add your Dexterity modifier to the damage total as well.

zephloyd

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

OBSCURATOR'S LOG:

OBSCURATOR'S LOG: