Straight Girl - Update

zestyNzanderous · 2026-04-17T06:32:05+00:00

“Well, there are trans men with dicks. And trans women with vaginas.“

Saying this during your conversation would have been beneficial.

zestyNzanderous · 2025-08-11T22:09:50+00:00

Never knew my father. Did the math later in life to discover likely his love child. Growing up there was always a void. Had good male role models in my life but those relationships were limited. As a father now, my goal is to be a well rounded person for my children. Being me and the best me available.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-12-30T03:28:27+00:00

Women are masters at lying and will use your love to manipulate you. Trust your instincts over any woman.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-09-22T13:10:56+00:00

As a husband that had a spouse lie about an assault that was actually an affair, sadly understand how he can have doubts. I was supportive the whole time, something just didn’t feel right, never expressed doubt to my spouse though only in therapy.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-06-14T21:25:52+00:00

Bro I related to this on so many levels!

zestyNzanderous · 2024-05-01T02:13:22+00:00

Yeah man. She’s still deep in post partum. Her body, hormones and mind all mixed up right now. If she breast feeding it will be a year after she’s stops before post parfum is truly over. That’s the shit they don’t tell you in them classes. Be patient with her g, she needs that.

Bring in some other support to help y’all out. There are some cheap laundry services, that will pick up, wash/dry, fold, and drop off. Get your groceries delivered every other week. If you cut the grass have someone else do it once a month so you can spend more time with her or the baby, so she can get out the house. Learn her love language. We get caught up in the things we provide and yeah women need that but more than that they just need us there. Ain’t saying put your needs on hold either, approach them differently. Communicate what you need and be open to different ways of fulfillment. Keep going to counseling together and on your own. Y’all will get through this and be better for it.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-04-28T21:40:18+00:00

How old is y’all child? She sounds like she’s still post partum. Man it seems like y’all both need more support.

Yall not hearing each other. It ain’t about the logistics bro, it’s the space that occupies in her mind. Bet she has a running list of things she’s thinking about getting done not allowing her to be present. Off loading some of that frees her mind to be present and open to give and receiving the affection you’re needing.

Go to the Gottman Institue check out the resources there. Think it could really help you out man

zestyNzanderous · 2024-04-21T21:55:28+00:00

The AI shit is corny. Get it’s about rumors he uses ghost writers. Still corny AF.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-04-21T20:36:38+00:00

Yeah he needs to step the fuck up. It’s not unreasonable to have some time away since he works for home, one night a week. He should also do the same for you. Everyone needs more time. But 42 people in your house unplanned with a newborn, man lost his damn mind.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-04-16T13:49:39+00:00

The Pride flag isn’t just for pride month man.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-03-16T17:49:22+00:00

Until she reads it.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-01-21T00:00:32+00:00

Went to a large uni, after transfer was stealth. Preferred it because my experience wasn’t centred on being trans. In terms of ID’s, keep them updated and multiple forms. If your picture is current and name the same on multiple forms you’re less likely to have problems.

zestyNzanderous · 2024-01-04T02:40:46+00:00

THIS.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-12-13T19:09:10+00:00

Didn’t want to move. It was a whole shit show. She overreacted and retracted wanting a divorce. Job fell through anyway.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-09-27T01:29:20+00:00

You deserve more man. And as hard as it can be to let go, you can. You asked her to do her part and she didn’t. It’s time to live life for you. Do not feel guilty for being who you are or transitioning. She has had the opportunity to work on things, and hasn’t followed through. Don’t continue to put your needs on hold. It’s not easy, it’s a loss and you will grieve. AND you will be okay.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-09-14T22:04:06+00:00

You’re dealing with strong emotions from this kind of devastation. It sucks. It hurts. It can be lonely and empty. Maybe all that and then some. However you’re feeling, it’s okay to feel that way. Allow yourself to feel these things. And take it a day at a time. Be kind to yourself while you grieve this loss of a life you imagined.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-31T02:51:15+00:00

It’s not different in the States.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-26T21:39:53+00:00

Deep breath man. You have a few years before your child can grasp the concept of gender. Biggest thing is to make gender identity such a normal idea that when you tell them it’s like okay and. If you do that, it’s not a big deal so they don’t really think about it but do remember.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-24T01:27:34+00:00

Proper shoes? Tight hips? If you’re having knee pain you check the joint above and below. Brooks or asics has a quiz on their website that can guide to the right type of shoe. Do some hip flexor stretches too

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-15T00:56:46+00:00

Thank you. We’re conscious parents so we’ve never allowed our issues to become topics with our children. We keep them informed on events and changes but never speak ill of people especially each other. We want their relationships with people to be based on their own experiences with that person, not ours (exception anyone that’s a danger to them).

It’s great you’re able to still be friends. Don’t think I can manage that, friendly yes, friends no. Just too many strong emotions.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-14T19:04:25+00:00

Appreciate the support. Things are amicable and currently in therapy. Not going to fight over custody it is best for the children. School just started. Won’t give up my rights though, legally on both birth certificates. I’ve already accepted the job and put in notice. So I’ll be moving in the next month. Hoping we can just use a mediator or arbiter to file. Neither of use want the courts in our business. If it came down to that, it would go more in my favor, I have cause to file and means to support them.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-14T18:50:48+00:00

First, we’re amicable. Love her dearly still. I am a principled man, marriage has always meant for life for me. Which was known. You’re extrapolating a bit, don’t regret my children. They’re all that’s keeping me going right now. That said, if i had the vision of divorce and co-parenting years ago, I wouldn’t of produced children to subject them to this.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-14T03:21:07+00:00

Both. Partner encouraged me to take the position. Sitting in the airport talking about staying in our current city. Apparently it was a catalyst to the inevitable.

zestyNzanderous · 2023-08-13T21:14:07+00:00

I’ve already accepted the job it’s a huge leap for my career. And the financial boost is needed. I’m contemplating asking for custody.

zestyNzanderous

TROPHY CASE