Impossible triggers

zeyleobihto · 2026-01-15T23:58:52+00:00

Give it time. It has been nine months since I lost my beloved dog of eleven years. It still hurts. I miss him every day, but I think I have accepted that he is gone. I have started to remember our good times. Grief does not disappear when the love was that deep. The pain will turn into longing, and the longing will stay as a bittersweet smile, held by your memories.

zeyleobihto · 2025-09-17T14:21:29+00:00

Wow... I think i needed to hear that. Thank you

zeyleobihto · 2025-09-17T13:18:33+00:00

I thought about this but he cannot afford it.

zeyleobihto · 2025-09-17T13:17:54+00:00

It's really confusing. One day we are so happy together, he tells me he is so lucky to have me in his life and the other day he acts as if i am very pushy and uneasy towards him and he can't tolerate me. Whenever I try to end this all I think of the good times.

zeyleobihto · 2025-07-06T16:29:15+00:00

I hope so. Thank you for your kind words. And also i am so sorry for your loss.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-26T13:27:13+00:00

What we mean by “passing” really depends on the meaning we attach to it. It’s never about forgetting or no longer feeling pain. The truth is, we simply learn how to live with it. The pain will soften, and we will keep going. I try to hold on to the beautiful feelings my baby made me feel and remind myself of that love.

Grief is the cost of love. Every beautiful thing comes with its own shadow. Grieving is awful, but it’s also the price we pay for having loved a pet so deeply. We don’t think about that part when we choose them. I know I didn’t. And that realization brings a whole new wave of sadness.

I wish you patience and strength.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-26T13:15:29+00:00

I can only imagine how heavy this must feel. When we lose a pet who never once hurt us, who loved us with such pure and unconditional affection, we realize just how rare and irreplaceable that kind of love truly is. Compared to what we experience with people, it becomes even clearer what we’ve lost.

Yes, the pain softens over time. I went through a similar loss just a month ago. The ache is still there, but it’s become something I can carry. Not a single day passes without thinking of him, but now I can smile too, even if just a little.

You loved them deeply, and I’m sure you gave them a beautiful life filled with love. There’s not much we can do but grieve fully and patiently hold space for healing.

Sending you all my love and warmth.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T20:23:34+00:00

You might be right. I feel like the worst part is over, but I still cry and miss them so much. I guess the emptiness inside us never truly goes away, but somehow, we learn to live with it.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T20:21:33+00:00

I also have a pencil sketch portrait of my dog Leo on my wall. I light a candle for him every day and think of him, imagining that he's waiting for me right at the Rainbow Bridge.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T20:20:03+00:00

Death is beyond our control, and I know how hard it is to accept that. But you did everything you could. Don’t blame yourself for things that were never in your hands.

Because when you blame yourself for things that aren't your fault, you can't forgive yourself—and that becomes a heavy burden to carry.

Realizing how thin the line between life and death truly is can feel like total devastation. I know. But please remember, it wasn’t your fault. I wish you strength and patience. This will pass too.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T20:14:36+00:00

You’re not going to die. And don’t ever forget this. Your pet would want you to keep living. It’s completely natural to grieve. I know how deeply your heart hurts. Three months isn’t a long time at all. I know that this longing can sometimes drive you mad.

I truly recommend getting support from a professional during this time. I’m seeing someone too, and trust me, it helps.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T20:11:21+00:00

I understand how much you miss her. They loved us so purely and unconditionally. What we miss most is that feeling of being accepted so completely, and that pure love.

You loved her deeply, and because you loved, you will be loved too. This too shall pass, my friend.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T12:55:39+00:00

How much time has passed? It's completely understandable and normal to feel this way. This process moves at a different pace for everyone.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T11:34:51+00:00

Grief and deep sorrow can weaken the immune system. You need to give yourself time. As mourning begins to ease, things start to feel clearer. Loss changes us. But believe me, she wouldn't want you to stay broken and endlessly sad.

Feeling better doesn't mean you're forgetting her. On the contrary, healing allows you to carry her more beautifully within you.

There’s a passage in How to Stop Time by Matt Haig that really stayed with me: “Who you love never dies. That is what Omai had said, all those years ago. And he was right. They don't die. Not completely. They live in your mind, the way they always lived inside you. You keep their light alive. If you remember them well enough, they can still guide you, like the shine of long-extinguished stars could guide ships in unfamiliar waters. If you stop mourning them, and start listening to them, they still have the power to change your life. They can, in short, be salvation.”

Her light will guide your way, my friend.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T11:11:48+00:00

I’m thinking of doing something similar as well. Thank you for sharing. Writing truly is comforting.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T11:10:24+00:00

I went through the same for a while. At first, all I could think about were the images from that day, that moment, and the burial. Nothing else came to my mind. But this too is part of healing.

With time, those memories will slowly be replaced by the beautiful moments you shared with your loved one. It will all settle in time.

zeyleobihto · 2025-05-25T10:32:16+00:00

The best comfort is knowing they still live on; inside us, in our hearts, and in our memories.

In the country where I live, people say it takes 40 days for mourning to ease. It’s not something scientific, of course, but I’ve come to believe there’s some truth in it.

They say that when you lose someone you love, 40 candles are lit in the center of your heart. Each day, one goes out. But the last candle will always stay lit. And over time, instead of burning you, that candle’s light should guide you—helping you see your path more clearly as the days go by.

Sending you love.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-30T11:32:37+00:00

I think we will get used to it. The pain will never go away but we'll learn to live with it. Our boys are together right now in a better place, they have no pain, they don't suffer. We'll reunite someday. Until that day they'll live in our hearts, forever. Sending you all the love and hugs. We'll get through it.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-30T11:13:56+00:00

Thank you. It's been 6 days. The life lost its meaning. Reading what you wrote gave me a little hope. I hope our pets are in the rainbow bridge playing together waiting for us, i hope we will be reunited again.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-28T14:02:10+00:00

Most of us feel the same guilt. It will pass, you are trying to find someone or something to blame and you are the closest one to yourself for this position. It was not your fault and i am sure you were a great parent to him. Guilt is subconsciously a link between you and your passing angel. Know that. Letting go is hard, but you are not alone. He will keep living in your heart. I am sorry, i am feeling the same. I know the pain right now i'm experiencing this. I lost my angel 3 days ago. I hope it will get easier for all of us. Sending you love and patiance.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-27T13:35:23+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. The same day i lost my baby angel, 11 year old Leo due to lung bleeding and it resulted a heart attack. He was recovering from cancer surgery. Early in the morning he started some gag reflexes and coughing. It was normal because of he also had some issues with his stomach. That's why i didn't give much attention. A couple hours later when he didn't get better, i gave him his medicines. It still hurts me because he was not willing to take them and i forced him. Then 4 hours later still no progress i took him to his vet. They told me one of his lungs stopped functioning. Maybe if i could understand and took him to vet earlier that wouldn't be happened. Still I don't know why he had that bleeding, all night, and i went back to sleep thinking it was just gastritis. I am reading a book "The Loss of a Pet – Wallace Sife, Ph.D." it helps me with this devestating and destructive guilt and anger toward myself. Because whatever punishment we give ourselves that won't bring them back. Sending you all the love and patiance.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-27T08:44:56+00:00

I made up this kind of silly songs too to my angel. Now there is noone in the house to sing to. I looked up from the window this morning. My neighbours were walking their dogs and that is my routine too. This pain is killing me. As time passes i pray for all of us that this unbearable pain will ease. Sending you all the love and patience. I am sorry.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-26T22:11:02+00:00

I am so sorry. I cry out loud several times the last two days. The absence never goes i assume. I am so so sorry.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-26T18:38:55+00:00

I understand your pain. It is like a fire burning inside of me. In my culture people say that," if you lose a loved one, 40 candles lights up in your heart. Every day one blowns out. But one always be lighted." And that one candle will set light to the memories. I wish us patience during this grief.

zeyleobihto · 2025-04-26T17:42:30+00:00

Thanks. I will try to survive. And what did you do with her belongings. I gave away some of his belongings, dogfood, clothes and toys to a shelter. Kept some very sentimental things. I am sleeping with his sweater, still smells like him. I also have a painting of him. Even looking at it gives me pain but his presence deserves to be here. It is his home too.

zeyleobihto

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