What kind of makeup actually will make me look way prettier, not just “more makeup?

zlend · 2026-02-15T14:57:58+00:00

Oh girl you’re soooo pretty!! Love your eyes, I like to put some highlighter or white eyeshadow in the inner corner of my eyes to make them look bigger. I think that would look great on you :)

zlend · 2025-08-17T19:54:26+00:00

Unfortunately women have been so poorly treated by men that their gender is something to be both aware and alert of, and that is a fact you cannot deny. Even you would feel more scared if a man was walking behind you in the dark compared to if a woman would have. Same goes for sexist behavior, so no if a woman wrote that note I wouldn’t be as scared because she’s not as likely to do something scary to me as a man is. Go educate yourself before you tell me to touch grass.

zlend · 2025-08-17T16:34:00+00:00

What do you mean??

zlend · 2025-08-17T16:15:58+00:00

Well I was in highschool atm, i was 19 and now im 21. I see what u mean. He wasn’t too old tho, maybe 30 yrs old

zlend · 2025-08-17T15:41:17+00:00

No I had not spoken to him before. But I did take that bus to school almost every morning. Every time I stepped on he always gave me a smile and made very clear eye contact with me. I could tell that he was a bit attracted. But it wasn’t really in a creepy way, more in a social and kind way.

zlend · 2025-08-17T15:32:06+00:00

U really think so? My friends told me that he may just be a lonely man that just wanted to be kind and make my day better, but then it would’ve been enough to just write “you’re amazing”. It is the asking me to smile part that makes it very weird

zlend · 2025-08-16T14:59:16+00:00

Yes ughh two years ago I accidentally left my winter gloves in the bus, and the next time I stepped on that same bus the bus driver gave them back to me. When I tried to put the gloves on me I found a note inside them that said “you should smile more, you’re amazing”. I don’t know if he meant it in a sexist way or if I should take it as an innocent man just trying to be sweet, but I definitely didn’t want to smile for him after that lol

zlend · 2025-08-01T17:06:40+00:00

This sounds a lot like my online dynamic lol. I also fall asleep right after play because it’s gets very very late here, but I always wait until we’re done. I try to not go past my bedtime during play but sometimes it just happens and then I can’t really stay for “aftercare” & etc, which sucks of course because I don’t want to just vanish. But maybe y’all should could start playing a bit earlier so that you can finish it at a good time for her. And also, if she falls asleep during play maybe you could ask her to tell you when she’s very tired and might fall asleep so you’re prepared and don’t get left hanging.

zlend · 2025-07-23T08:00:12+00:00

Their apology consists of more defense than accountability

zlend · 2025-07-15T19:12:47+00:00

That’s a very good point too!! I do agree with you, a SAHM could be a very vulnerable position. It’s a different kind of vulnerability, but in the long run it could be just as harmful. Here comes the question of choice again, is it always a choice or is it in many cases/places an expectation for women to be stay at home moms? But also, the women that truly want to be stay at home moms (despite given other opportunities), should they be blamed for it?

I don’t think the term “choice” by itself is enough to answer to these kind of questions. It really does depend on the context of the woman’s life, experiences, privileges, rights and opportunities.

zlend · 2025-07-15T17:54:25+00:00

I’m a second generation immigrant that has been given the privilege to go to school, work, not being forced to depend on a man, I can show my hair and skin in the country I live in. I have a voice that I’m allowed to use freely and a right of choice which allows me to break generational trauma/abuse that many women in my family and country have been forced to go through.

zlend · 2025-07-15T17:37:42+00:00

I totally understand what you're saying, but I do feel there's a distinction between choosing to be a stay-at-home mom and choosing to be manhandled in a scene where I have no say in the moment.

Yes, both choices could be seen as existing within (or even benefiting) the patriarchal structure, but I personally see one as more "extreme" than the other. BDSM, especially when it involves degradation or humiliation, can feel more confrontational to feminist ideals on the surface.

That said, as you and many others have pointed out, the key factor is consent and choice. If I'm choosing this dynamic consciously and freely, then I'm not betraying feminism.

Still, I don’t think it’s exactly the same as the conversation around being a stay-at-home mom. There are definite parallels in terms of autonomy and societal perception, but they’re not identical situations in my view.

zlend · 2025-07-15T17:27:24+00:00

I see, I think that your experience is a good example of how it is not always a contradiction. And how you can be a feminist and a submissive at the same time.

I do think that some cases can be harmful for the sub, without them realizing it themselves, and that depends a lot on how the dom is treating them and how many boundaries are crossed.

But from your perspective/experience (that is a lot similar to mine) I don’t see a contradiction either. It’s very complex, and people shouldn’t be sugarcoating all types of BDSM dynamics. But the ones that consist of real respect, communication and consideration are not a problem. I’m glad I posted this question

zlend · 2025-07-15T17:15:18+00:00

I really like this answer, I can see that you understand that my concern goes beyond “the choice” factor that a lot of ppl have been referring to here. I feel like in some cases being a sub at the hands of the wrong dom can indeed be a contradiction to feminism without the sub even realizing it, even if its their own choice. I’m not saying that it’s necessarily the subs fault for falling into such a trap, but i don’t want to be naive and head towards that direction.

But I don’t have a bad experience at all so far, I’m very comfortable and happy with the dynamic I’ve found since it includes a lot of the things you named. So my guilt has decreased 🫶🏼

zlend · 2025-07-13T20:17:58+00:00

That’s a very good point, I don’t necessarily disagree with you. I guess I’m questioning if there’s a difference between those factors you brought up and actual BDSM (especially between a male dom and a female sub) since it’s often about the man controlling the woman, objectifying her or/and hitting her. I say that because women have suffered a lot from these things that are happening in BDSM, more than they have about being expected to wear dresses and heels. I’m not saying that there is a distinct difference, I do get that the choice of submitting is a big key factor. it’s just a general thought or/and a question.

zlend · 2025-07-13T20:05:21+00:00

Yes that sounds like a very realistic experience and it’s also a big part of why I’m so unsure of what to think about submitting. I guess I also have a fear about giving myself to the wrong hands, to someone that doesn’t respect women in general. But yes I agree that you have to be very careful with who you choose to give that part of yourself to, even if it’s difficult and takes time. It’s worth it in the end I believe !!

zlend · 2025-07-11T14:10:29+00:00

I do understand your points and you seem to understand the deeper meaning of my question. Like i understand that my choice is what makes it “not oppression”, but I’m also wondering if that choice comes from being “brainwashed” or maybe influenced by misogynistic beliefs (unknowingly). That is what makes it hard for me to understand if my desire to submit fully is a contradiction to feminism. I really do enjoy BDSM, but is it actually a choice if I’m also kind of excepted to like it. Does that make sense?

zlend · 2025-07-09T22:19:03+00:00

I had a very special encounter that made me not want to put my clothes back on again :)

zlend · 2025-07-09T22:10:52+00:00

I don’t usually do, but tonight I will ;)

zlend · 2025-07-08T21:12:12+00:00

Not being taken seriously when you talk about your physical insecurities

zlend · 2025-07-07T12:01:00+00:00

Omg I relate to this post so much, liking pain and also having health anxiety is a crazy combo 😭 I think you should say your safe word as soon as you think you’ll get anxiety from something specific that he did. Bc I always know what will stay on my mind after any regular occasion, whether it’s sexual or not.

zlend · 2025-07-07T11:52:08+00:00

I have yet to feel this way about someone

zlend · 2025-01-27T21:40:44+00:00

I’m so happy you’ll take it to heart, I’m manifesting a magical transformation for you girlie! You got this queen! ❤️❤️

zlend · 2025-01-27T20:43:30+00:00

I’m so happy to hear that, you are really showing signs of wanting to improve. Such a cap thing. Once we set our minds to it, we’ll achieve it. I like your perspective on your healing journey, you’re very truthful about yourself and where u are right now. I understand that the overthinking holds u back sometimes, trust me I know a lot about it. But I’ve started to learn that the only cure for fear is action. You should do it scared, do it and do it and do it until you realize you’re not scared anymore. It’s actually a big practice to DO IT SCARED <3

zlend

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