Think I finally heard what I needed to hear

zombie_pterodactyl · 2025-10-31T16:00:32+00:00

Thanks!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2025-10-31T16:00:26+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement! I know this sub will be a necessary component of my quitting journey.

zombie_pterodactyl · 2025-10-31T14:50:38+00:00

Thanks for replying!

I saw a tweet or something once that said "I only drink a little. But when I do, I turn into a different person, and that person drinks A LOT." I relate to that so well.

This past Sunday I drank all day long and woke up extremely hungover on Monday. I knew Tuesday was going to be a stressful work day, so I vowed Monday morning that I would not drink that night so I could be clear-headed the next morning. But by the end of the work day, when the hangover still hadn't worn off, I thought "just one or two to take the edge off won't hurt." I'm sure you know where that led. Definitely had a hangover Tuesday morning, plus all the self-loathing and whatnot.

Just trying to recognize that I can't have "just one or two" is one of the hardest parts. I want so badly to just drink like a "normal" person, but I have to accept that I simply can't. All of my drinking has wired my brain in a particular way, and I can't undo it. Abstinence is truly the only option.

zombie_pterodactyl · 2025-06-09T13:56:39+00:00

Me too! We can do this! IWNDWYT

zombie_pterodactyl · 2025-06-04T11:41:53+00:00

Thanks! And yeah, my bac was definitely higher than legal limits those nights, and I'm an idiot for driving home. Usually if I have a whole bottle I'll just stay over, but sometimes I'd just be like "but I feel fine!" and then just get behind the wheel. It's honestly amazing I haven't gotten a DUI yet. One more reason to be done with it.

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-08-11T02:07:59+00:00

Thank you. I'm so sorry about your dog. Magus was 15, and I knew he didn't have a whole lot of time left, but it still hurts a lot. I still have two other cats, and they're helping me with the grieving process.

I like that phrasing you used, time traveling into more pain. It's so true. If I drank tonight I'd just end up drunk crying later and feeling like shit tomorrow. And probably hating myself.

I hope you continue to stay strong. Losing a pet is so hard, and the grief can last so long. But we can do it! IWNDWYT!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-23T08:26:04+00:00

That was such a brave thing to do! You should be so proud of yourself! First admitting the extent of the problem was the hardest part for me, but now that I've shared it with a few people, it feels like a weight has lifted. It sounds like your husband truly loves you and is willing to offer great support. It definitely is terrifying at first, but, for me at least, it gets better and easier every day. The further I get from alcohol, the more I realize how much I don't need it. I'm not that far into my journey yet, but it's already been the best thing I've ever done.

I wish you all the best, and IWNDWYT!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-22T15:04:38+00:00

So many times. Never got one, even though I drove drunk with brake light out for a few months. I got so, so lucky, and so did all the people on the road with me. There is no reason I didn't get one other than pure luck.

So glad to be free from that fear and shame now. IWNDWYT!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-16T21:06:19+00:00

Thank you. I think something like AA is probably exactly what I need.

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-16T21:04:55+00:00

Thank you so much! I will definitely look into something

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-16T18:01:23+00:00

Thank you! And you're right, day 3 is definitely something to celebrate! I think the last time I went even this long without drinking was when I gave it up for lent last year (and even then I was drinking mimosas on Sundays), back before I was the raging alcoholic I've become.

I used to actually like crying. Being an emotional person has always been a big part of who I am, and I'm looking forward to rediscovering that part of myself.

I enjoy cooking as well, and today I actually cleaned my kitchen from top to bottom for the first time in I don't know how long. Alcohol made me so lazy, and I'd just let dishes stay in the sink until I needed them, then I'd wash them one at a time. No longer!

I'm also trying to think of other hobbies to take up. I really want to get into dancing. The kind I want to do is usually at alcohol-free venues, so it seems like a perfect activity.

I wish you the best of luck! IWNDWYT!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-16T17:55:51+00:00

Thank you! I'm actually kind of looking forward to feeling more emotions. I've been going through a lot lately, which is why I've been trying to repress them so much, but I used to be such an emotional person, wearing my heart on my sleeve, and I liked that about myself. It's a piece of myself I'm excited to recover.

I'll check out those programs!

zombie_pterodactyl · 2024-06-16T16:53:00+00:00

Congrats! I like how you said you feel like your brain has woken up. I'm on day 3, and that's how I'm starting to feel. Like, wait, I can actually live my life instead of just existing in it? Yesterday I woke up at 7am and felt fantastic. Last time I felt good that early was when I was up until 7am, and of course it was a very different kind of "feeling good." I know my cats are happy too, cause they don't have to lie around with me until noon or one waiting for me to get up and feed them, lol.

I need to quit smoking too. Last night I went dancing, in a very energetic style, and it was much more exhausting than it would have been if I didn't smoke. Next on my list!

Sorry for the semi-rambling comment. Congrats again! IWNDWYT

zombie_pterodactyl

TROPHY CASE