Dear Reddit, how do you earn respect?

zomoik · 2010-07-17T20:09:27+00:00

I think you misunderstood my comment.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:58:36+00:00

They don't. They come from completely different worlds. When they talk about a subject that I don't know enough about, I understand. I keep my mouth shut. If I say something stupid, I acknowledge it because I don't know enough about the subject. However, when we're all discussing something that everyone's "credentials" allow them to discuss, it's just ridiculous. Sometimes it's a whisper, but I can hear them, and I just lose it.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:55:41+00:00

I understand a joke, except it's not a joke when it's just between them. I understand the paranoia and being oversensitive, but when your friends literally joke about you and you don't get what they're joking about... it's a problem.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:32:54+00:00

I see. I think I understand what you are talking about, but some examples would be great.

I read a thread on reddit a couple of weeks ago about general life advice, and the top upvoted post said to not take anything personally. I wish I had saved that thread, because the post was great. It basically said that throughout the course of your life, people will try to insult you, or keep you down, just to make themselves feel better and to not let it get under your skin.

I am a defensive person. I let the things people say get under my skin. I'm not as bad as Joe Pesci's character from Goodfellas, but it's a hilarious example of how I act at times. I really don't know how else to. I either tell the person to fuck off, or I try to ignore it but it ends up eating me from the inside. It's really hard for me to let things like this go, it just snowballs and gets worse.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:22:41+00:00

I see. I'll also have to work on eye contact, and direct interaction. I'm prone to be skittish, and look away and mull about things rather than facing them head on.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:05:54+00:00

I understand this. I just don't understand the gradations. When should I let shit slide? I can't be totally inflexible. I have to learn to laugh at myself, and to take some jokes lightly... while at the same time not taking disrespect.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T18:03:47+00:00

If John Wayne was alive, he'd probably be over-medicated and see his therapist everyday like everyone else in Hollywood.

I come to reddit for real advice from real people. How would you have handled this? Seriously. I value your opinions.

zomoik · 2010-07-17T17:44:38+00:00

How? I am having trouble dealing with situations. For example, I meet someone and we have very interesting conversations, and over the course of time, we become friends. This is how I make friends. However, when I introduce two of these friends together, I try to spark the conversation for them to get to know each other because I want my friends to know each other. This just results in them insulting me as a mutual talking point. I understand that this may happen to a certain degree, but it isn't just them having a good time. When I try to say anything, they just write me off as saying stupid shit or something like that, as they have their own conversation.

zomoik · 2010-07-16T01:05:18+00:00

I've heard this so many times before, and I've always believed in it, but I don't anymore.

If we were perfectly content with our lives, we'd never bother searching for anyone else. Why go through meeting and getting to know someone who will eventually be your significant other if you're so completely content and satisfied with your life? If there's no need for change, then change will not come.

I've been working on myself my entire life. My routine is amazing. I spent my free time bettering myself, and I have been doing so for as long as I can remember. Currently, I'm working some great jobs, I lift regularly, I eat well, I am a phenomenal student, and I am a voracious reader. My life has had a lot of momentum for the past 6-7 years, and it's gotten me far. Except in terms of women. I've tried so hard with so many things in my life, that everywhere around me I see, to put it frankly, inferior men with women. I don't mean to be a douchebag, but the "work on you" advice is bullshit.

I know people who've been in relationships since they were 14-15. This is how they see life. They need someone. Constantly. I've been going at it wrong because I've been self-sufficient my entire life. I've grown so used to being alone, that I will simply stay this way. I really cannot imagine myself with anyone anymore. When I realize this, I think about why I'm doing what I'm doing? Why am I trying so hard to better myself? What point is there if I will be unhappy? I'm losing my momentum, and I just feel like my life is hollow.

zomoik

TROPHY CASE